Meet Jillian Marie Cicalese

We were lucky to catch up with Jillian Marie Cicalese recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Jillian Marie, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?

When I think of confidence and self-esteem, I think of all the things I had to unlearn. I think I was pretty confident as a child. I was headstrong and imaginative, and somewhere along the path, that was smothered out, or lost. Becoming an actor has been a constant unlearning of those inhibitors that keep me second-guessing, and a relearning of what it means to have that childlike confidence and curiosity. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still struggling with finding confidence and self-esteem, and I think that’s what keeps me humble. But I suppose one thing I try to remind myself to do is to remain curious, and present. In most cases, I end up just “doing,” and the confidence follows, as the late Carrie Fisher once said. And once you learn to just try, to just do, or just be, you can surprise yourself in your knowledge of what you already know to be true, and what you can discover along the way.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I have always been a performer since I was young. My mother enrolled me in dance classes, and I remember my family telling me how I “come alive” on stage. I was always passionate about story telling. As I have grown into adulthood and deepend my career in the performing arts, mainly in acting and theatre, I know now that there is a vital relationship between the performer and the audience that plays a major role in what story we are trying to tell. It is a conversation; are they laughing, weeping, silent? Do they gasp at the reveal? Their response is usually collective, and it creates community. In the age of screens-in-the-palm-of-our-hands, it is easy for us to become apathetic from over stimulation. We have developed a shorter attention span, and consume stories and media in 60 second clips, or less. Theatre challenges that, and rightfully so. As an educator, I cannot ignore the fact that theatre is a teacher. By telling stories, we learn from the past, or our ideas of the future, or even current events. We need to learn how to be uncomfortable in order to make change. We need comfort to not lose hope for change. We need community to hold us up when we’re too tired to hold ourselves up. This is what makes me feel excited about acting and story telling.

I am currently in NYC working as an actor, director, and educator. I have been in a Shakespearean cohort called Hamlet Isn’t Dead for four years, performing in and directing various productions. The cohort’s mission is to work through the entirety of Shakespeare’s works; next up is Cymbeline, in which I will be playing the role of Imogen. Performances begin May 22nd and run through June 1st at St. Luke’s Theatre on West 46th Street in Manhattan.

I also offer coaching sessions, either virtually or in-person, individual or group sessions. My main focus is ensemble-building and community-building exercises, as well as exploring Shakespeare’s text from an actor’s perspective!

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Three qualities that were most impactful in my journey are definitely curiosity, empathy, and consistency. I had some wonderful teachers in my academia that encouraged me to stay curious. If something isn’t clicking, ask why. Risk. Fail. Risk again. Experience is a teacher, whether it be successes or failures.

Empathy is a teacher. It reminds us that we do not know where people are coming from, what their stories are, and rather than be suspicious, be helpful.

Consistency is a matter of practice. Show up for yourself every single day, and celebrate the smallest accomplishment, even if it is as simple as getting out of bed. We can only show up for our friends and communities if we first show up for ourselves.

In summation, stay curious, be kind, keep trying, and give yourself grace.

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?

The summer before I began college, I had a long cyclical spell of anxiety and depression. I had spent my high school career trying so hard to be a good student, that I did not know what to pursue when it came to declaring a major. I had suddenly felt the weight of the rest of my life sitting on my chest, and I came into the kitchen one day and my mother turned to me and simply asked, “What’s wrong?” And I burst into tears.

I had declared English Literature as my major– and don’t get me wrong, I love literature, I love stories and I love reading. I just didn’t know what would come of a career with an English Literature degree. And I was scared.

My mother sat me down with a cup of tea as I expressed my fears. My mother said to me, “Jillian. You have been a performer your entire life. So. You’re going to declare Theatre Arts as your major, because I’m not dealing with you being miserable for the rest of your life.” It was a joke, but truth in jest. I couldn’t see myself doing anything else after that.

My parents could’ve lied to me, or shamed me, or told me I should go for the money and become a doctor like every other straight-A student at my school. But instead their honesty saved my life, in more ways than one.

Both of my parents have taught me my empathy and honesty, and resourcefulness. They have always had great confidence in me, and offered support when I wasn’t so confident in myself. And I can only hope I can be that sort of role model for anyone who needs it.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://jilliancicalese.com
• Instagram: @jmcicalese

Image Credits

Photos by Grace Stockdale, Valerie Terranova, Elizabeth Thornton, Cliff Roles, an Cait Ochs.