We recently connected with Jillian Romero Chaves and have shared our conversation below.
Jillian , we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
It was the end of 2020 and I was thriving. I had a career in automotive that I was excelling in. I was in the best physical shape of my life having taken up running during covid and I was looking forward to an engagement and to starting a family. That’s when everything changed. In Dec 2020 I discovered that my soon-to-be fiance had been cheating on me with dozens of conquests during the entirety of our relationship . This life-altering experience shattered my self-confidence and left me questioning my ability to make healthy relationship choices. However, I refused to let this define me. It was then that I embarked on a profound journey of healing, self-discovery, and personal growth and to ask myself the question how did I let myself fall so hard into the delusion of the relationship I wanted and how do I prevent myself from letting it happen again?
Drawing from my personal experiences, I channeled my passion into creating Clara for Daters. Clara is not a dating app; it is an intentional dating relationship tool that uses psychologist-designed questions to empower daters to build healthy connections by promoting behavior change and mental wellness in dating. Addressing the root of the issue, the often-overlooked early dating stages, became my mission. If I can empower people to choose healthy connections before they reach a point of no return, I hope to make a meaningful impact.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am the Founder and CEO of Clara for Daters which means I have an unwavering dedication to empower others on their dating journeys. as I seek to normalize early dating due diligence, encourage open conversations, and steer individuals away from the pitfalls of modern dating’s “situationship culture.” I am also a single woman in my 30s who is very much in the dating scene! I have chosen to be intentional in my efforts as I learn to navigate the highs and lows of dating while strengthening new brain paths of what healthy connections feel like, understanding that the only way to to this is through action, experience and reflection. Clara for Daters launched in the app store in Feb 2023 and of course I am a part of the first group of beta users testing this very unique product. Today, having logged thirty three dates last year I can tell you that I am a much more confident dater with a clearer understanding of what I am looking for along with self-confidence to walk away as soon as I start to wonder if I deserve better. I want to be clear we are talking about early dating stages! Those first 10-15 dates when you are still getting to know someone. Since I have been using Clara for Daters I can see all the progress I have made. Some of those 33 dates were first dates and some of those daters were multiple dates with the same prospect. Most of my first dates I met on Hinge but the dates that I actually went on second and third dates with I met on Bumble. Now, what I have learned about myself comes from the Clara Vibe Check score that happens after you go on a date! It’s a series of ten questions that change depending on if you are on a first date, second date etc But the pillars of the vibe check questions are always around emotional safety, physical safety, relational safety, chemistry and values. So for example some questions could be “Did you feel comfortable with conversation topics?”, “Are you excited to get to know your date more?” or “Was it obvious your date was into you?”. Its these questions and the resulting score that help to keep me and other Clara users grounded in the reality of how we are actually feel during in the date and not caught up in the “delulu” of what we want to be feeling. It is my belief that its this early path that helps us determine if we are on the right path to nurture a meaningful connection.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Looking back on my journey, there are three qualities that stand out as most impactful in my path of healing, growth, and creating Clara for Daters.
Resilience: The ability to bounce back from adversity was crucial in navigating the aftermath of my personal experience. Building resilience takes time and practice. It’s about acknowledging setbacks, allowing yourself to feel the emotions that come with them, and then finding the strength to keep moving forward. My advice for those early in their journey is to cultivate resilience by seeking support from loved ones, practicing self-care, and embracing setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than defeat.
Self-Reflection: Engaging in deep introspection allowed me to understand my patterns, beliefs, and vulnerabilities in relationships. Taking the time to reflect on past experiences, both positive and negative, helped me gain insight into my own needs, boundaries, and values. For those at the beginning of their journey, I recommend carving out intentional time for self-reflection through journaling, therapy, or meditation. Being curious about your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can lead to profound self-discovery and personal growth.
Empathy: Developing empathy towards myself and others was fundamental in my journey towards healing and creating Clara for Daters. By understanding and empathizing with my own struggles, I became more compassionate towards myself and others in the dating world. Cultivating empathy involves actively listening to others’ perspectives, being open to different experiences, and practicing kindness and understanding. For those starting their journey, I encourage fostering empathy through meaningful connections with others, seeking diverse perspectives, and practicing empathy both in thought and action.
For those early in their journey, my advice is to focus on cultivating these qualities through intentional practices, seeking support, and embracing the process of self-discovery. Remember that healing and personal growth are ongoing journeys, and each step forward, no matter how small, brings you closer to a place of strength, authenticity, and fulfillment in your relationships and life journey.
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
I am very much looking for opportunities to partner and collaborate with individuals and organizations who share a passion for promoting healthy relationships and empowering individuals in their dating journeys.
For coaches who specialize in personal relationships and dating, Clara for Daters can serve as a valuable companion tool to support their clients. By integrating Clara’s framework into their coaching practices, coaches can offer their clients a structured self-reflection action to navigate the complexities of modern dating while fostering self-awareness and promoting healthy relationship dynamics. I’m eager to collaborate with coaches who are dedicated to helping their clients build fulfilling and authentic connections.
Additionally, I am interested in collaborating with matchmakers and event organizers who are passionate about creating meaningful opportunities for individuals to meet and connect in person. Whether it’s hosting speed dating events, mixer gatherings, or utilizing event spaces like the beautiful Paddock Riding Club, Clara for Daters can enhance the dating experience by providing users with valuable insights and tools to navigate their interactions with authenticity and intention.
Furthermore, I see great potential in collaborating with dating apps to explore the dynamics of connections post-match. By partnering with dating apps, we can conduct studies and gather insights into the journey of connections formed through online platforms, ultimately contributing to a deeper understanding of modern dating trends and behaviors.
If you’re interested in collaborating with Clara for Daters or exploring partnership opportunities, I invite you to connect with me directly. You can reach out via email at [email protected] or you can DM me directly on instagram @jillianromerochaves. I look forward to the possibility of working together to create positive change in the world of dating and relationships.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.clarafordaters.com
- Instagram: @clarafordaters
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/clarafordaters
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/clara-for-daters/
- Other: App Store: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/clara-for-daters/id1667355360
Image Credits
Keegan Kruse and Maurine Allison
