Meet Joe Fry

We recently connected with Joe Fry and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Joe, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?

It was a slow burn combination of friends propping me and me learning to put myself out there.

Before I was a filmmaker I played music. I spent a good chunk of my life going to smoke-and-light-show worship band churches, and as a very shy kid I coveted the idea of being on stage with the cool musicians.

Around 15 I picked up acoustic guitar.A few months later, some school friends put an electric in my hands and taught me to play rhythm for their wanna-be-Breaking-Benjamin band. We sucked, We played exactly one show together, but I learned enough for my church friends (and better musicians) to put me in THEIR wanna-be-Evanescence band. We still kind of sucked, but I learned a ton and was on stage for a lot of people, including judges in a few different competitions.

By the time my early twenties rolled around I had played in six different bands on a bunch of different stages in front of a lot of different people, half the time with music I had helped write. Eventually I set the guitar down and picked up the pen, but learning how to perform in front of people (and face their judgement) was vital for my creative path.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I’ve been living in Buenos Aires the past few years, and I spread my time between a variety of writing and storytelling projects. Mainly two kinds—screenplays and D&D campaigns.

I do a fair bit of ghostwriting and contract work, punching up scripts or writing them from scratch. TV pilots are my favorite to work on; I love a broad-scope story that leaves a reader wanting more, It’s super fun and fulfilling for me to plant little seeds of mystery and wonder for what’s to come.

I specialize in co-writing scripts and helping others refine what they’ve already written. Film is the most collaborative art form out there, and for me that applies to the writing stage as well. I’ve always preferred working in partnership over going solo, as I put stock in the iron-sharpens-iron mentality.

As for TTRPGs, I run professional, paid games with completely customized stories over Discord for players all over the world. I’ve always loved fantasy, ever since I was a kid, so being able to craft original, collaborative epics over the course of years with players actively involved in how the shared story develops is a dream I never knew I had.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Learning to perform, learning to be judged, and learning how to listen. And all of those require you to quiet a part of yourself, so maybe learning how to be quiet (and when to be) as a fourth skill.

You might think performing requires the exact opposite of silence, and you’re right. But you have to learn to quiet your inner self to be able to perform externally. Anxieties, worries about not looking cool, the voice that says you aren’t ready or good enough yet. If you let those parts of yourself get too loud, standing in front of others (who probably do think you do look cool just for having the courage to be in front of them), is next to impossible.

When you’re being judged (receiving criticism), you have to learn to quiet the defensive urge to explain. If you don’t, you won’t be able to tell what’s actually improvable with your work. And there’s always something to be improved, no matter how naturally talented you may be.

Explaining yourself or your work while people give you feedback accomplishes basically nothing, for one of two reasons:

1. Whatever you feel the need to explain obviously wasn’t clear enough in the work, so you simply need to fix it.
2. The person giving you criticism doesn’t understand what’s obvious in your work and no amount of explaining will improve their sensibility.

Either way, it’s better to just shut up, say “thank you,” and be 100% honest with yourself about which of the two is the case.

As for learning to listen, I believe it’s simply fundamental to being an artist. And listening isn’t exclusively with the ear. When I say listen, I mean taking in the world around you without disturbing it yourself. Pay attention. Learn to recognize when something sounds cool, or looks wrong, or feels right. Whatever senses you have, use them all to bring the world into yourself. Then, when you sit down to create something, you’ll have everything you need to make it convincing.

Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?

I’m always looking for new friends and collaborators! If you’re someone who wants to tell a story and doesn’t quite know how, or someone who wants a fresh set of eyes that can pinpoint what’s great and what isn’t with your script or story, I’d love to hear you out and offer a helping hand.

People can reach me anytime at [email protected].

Image Credits

Joe Fry, Lucia Lares