Meet Joe Sbar

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Joe Sbar. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Hi Joe, thank you for joining us today and sharing your experiences and acquired wisdom with us. Burnout is a huge topic these days and so we’d love to kick things off by discussing your thoughts on overcoming or avoiding burnout

Like many people working in the field of education during the COVID-19 pandemic, I overextended myself trying to meet the needs of children in schools at a time when the world was so unpredictable and scary that it was difficult to meet my own needs. I rapidly descended into burnout the year that, ironically, I was awarded the State of Michigan’s highest honor for work in my field: the Michigan Association of School Psychologists’ School Psychologist of the Year award. Between the demand I felt to meet the needs of children in distress (of which, at that time, there was no shortage) and the pressures of exemplifying the virtues that this award represented–including dedication, compassion, good judgment, and mental wellness–I found myself utterly burned out on the work that I was revered for doing. I had to do some soul searching at the end of that school year, because I had always viewed my work as a source of pride and satisfaction, and I was not willing to give up on a career that had always fulfilled me, especially during a time when my services were needed more than ever. I was determined to keep doing my job at a high level but finding ways to stay motivated and positive even on the worst days. After some deep reflection, it became clear that, like everyone else on this Earth, I thrive most when my needs are met. However, each person has a unique set of needs, and defeating burnout was a matter of identifying my own and finding ways to create fulfillment where fulfillment was lacking. After taking inventory of my met and unmet needs, it was clear that I was satisfied in a lot of domains of my life: I felt a sense of accomplishment from the work I did, I was in good health, I was fortunate to be in a good place financially, and I had hobbies and interests that offered me a positive outlet to challenge myself intellectually. However, I realized through this audit of my needs that I was missing a creative outlet and I was missing the kinds of interpersonal relationships that I needed to be satisfied. The following year, as the spread of COVID-19 began to decline and the world began to resume normal activities, I prioritized my creative needs in two distinct ways. First, I resumed teaching ballroom dance classes at our local university. This activity had always brought me a lot of joy as a creative outlet, and I was quickly reminded after I resumed teaching how important it was to have such an outlet in order to thrive. Second, I took a leap of faith and pursued a dream that I had allowed to lie dormant since my teenage years: I threw myself into becoming a commercial and film actor. This journey involved attending acting school in the evenings after work, auditioning for countless projects, and preparing extensively to perform the roles in which I was cast to the best of my ability. Though the hours involved with becoming an actor equated to nearly having a second full-time job, having my creative needs met–and the sense of interpersonal connection I felt through the relationships I developed with like-minded creative people–allowed me to thrive both personally and professionally, and I became a better school psychologist as a result. There was an energy inside of me, and a sense of happiness that projected into my interactions with colleagues at work, that allowed me to perform my school psychologist job better than I was during my burnout phase. By identifying and addressing my unmet needs, I was able to regain my joy for my day job while simultaneously building a career as an actor. As of today, I have appeared in over 25 films and commercials while continuing to change children’s lives as a school psychologist. It is my hope that those who read about my journey do the same thing I did–take inventory of your own unique met and unmet needs–and be proactive about finding the ways to fulfill those needs that are unmet. You just might be surprised how resistant to burnout you can become by filling in those missing pieces!

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I am a school psychologist by trade, meaning my job is primarily to conduct psychological evaluations of children to identify the presence of disabilities and develop plans to support them in schools based on their unique needs. This job is special to me because it allows me to make a difference in the world by supporting children and families in a way that leads to success in school and improved life outcomes. Additionally, I am also a university ballroom dance professor and an actor. I have had a strong sense of creativity ever since I was young, and acting and teaching dance are my favorite outlets to fulfill those creative needs!

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

I believe that success in any field requires pattern recognition, impulse control, and distress tolerance. I believe that everything in this world is a skill, and skills can be learned by identifying patterns. You can succeed at anything if you are observant to “how things work.” In any given field, the patterns to recognize are those that involve the specific skill you are tasked with learning as well as the patterns of human behavior involved with those with whom you will work. Regarding impulse control, I know that “overthinking” can come with its own set of challenges, but I see far more people sabotage their success by “underthinking” than by overthinking. Those who can consistently reflect on all possible choices in any given scenario, weigh the pros and cons, and act upon informed risk-reward calculations are those who are destined for success. Regarding distress tolerance, I believe it is imperative to acknowledge that the road to success is paved with “failures.” Being able to reconceptualize failure as a necessary productive struggle on the way to success is critical. Nobody starts off as the best in the world at something. To get to that point involves continually learning and analyzing ways that one can improve. It is unavoidable in your pursuit of your goals that you will receive feedback, whether internally or externally, that something you did was below a standard of acceptability. Those who achieve greatness are those who are able to depersonalize this feedback, analyze it, and glean anything of value from it that might assist in making improvement. My advice to anyone who wants to incorporate any of these three skills–pattern recognition, impulse control, and distress tolerance–into their way of thinking is to find people who exemplify these skills, observe them, and ask them to talk through their thought process when they encounter challenge situations. Seeing these thought processes in action can be quite informative and inspiring!

As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?

I tell everyone I know that “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is my favorite book of all time. I try to re-read it once every couple of years so I can make sure I am incorporating its principles into my daily life. Ultimately, the principles in that book involve using kindness, compassion, authenticity, and the expression of genuine interest in the way you treat others as a way of motivating them to be the best version of themselves. I find that being kind and supportive has gotten me far in life, and after reading this book, you too will see just how far that approach goes.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://linktr.ee/joe.sbar
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joe.sbar
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sbar.joe/
• Other: https://www.imdb.me/joesbar