Meet John Magnuson

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to John Magnuson. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

John, so great to have you sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our readers and so let’s jump right into one of our favorite topics – empathy. We think a lack of empathy is at the heart of so many issues the world is struggling with and so our hope is to contribute to an environment that fosters the development of empathy. Along those lines, we’d love to hear your thoughts around where your empathy comes from?

This was a journey that was born of a fairly challenging youth. My family life was not abusive or anything but there were some challenges that came from my school years. Being from a small town with a class size of less than 40, there was a definite pecking order and I was no where near the top of it. From elementary through high school I was a bit of an outcast. I was just too weird. Odd sense of humor, etc. My first close relationship wasn’t until I left school. I just did not have friends. Now, I had people that would talk to me, that seemed to enjoy my company, but it was only if there was nobody else around. It just wasn’t “cool” to be seen with me.

For my part, I did not make it any easier on myself. I went through a period in my teen years where most of the things that came out of my mouth were lies. I also became quite adept at stealing things I wanted. Typically money. I grew up broke as hell and was certainly jealous of others who, in my eyes, got whatever they wanted. While I was a pretty clever thief for my age, I of course was caught from time to time. The fact I never got into serious trouble is a minor miracle, I certainly deserved too. I just did not care though. I really felt alone and had decided seeing as nobody cared about me I was going to do my best not to care about them.

As I moved into adulthood I was pretty abrasive. I spent a few years in the Army where I learned I had an ability to make friends and to engage with folks in any situation but I still was focused only on how things impacted me. Really I was just the type of person that I grew up with. In my opinion they were all pretty dismissive of me so now that I was away from that environment, I could be the person that was dismissive of others. To say there was a very conservative lean to my thinking would be an understatement. I was firmly in the “take care of yourself” camp.

As time went on I eventually met my future wife and that is when I really started to change. Part of it was due to her influence of course as she is a very kind person and was always concerned with others. Part of it was due to her forcing me to reconnect with my family. Doing that reconnected me with my sister who by this time was getting close to graduating from high school herself.

My sister and I have had many conversations over the years about just about everything under the sun. The one that sticks out to me the most was one where we were talking about LGBTQIA+ folks. To be fair back then it was just “gay people” to me. I had experienced a person in my army unit just disappear one day when it was found out he was gay and in my mind they needed to “keep that stuff to themselves”. As my sister and I discussed the issue she asked me a simple question.

“What would you do if your future kid ever came up to you and said they were gay?”

That question stopped me dead in my tracks. I had always wanted to be a dad and could not imagine ever thinking a negative thing about any child I would have much less disown them as was so common. So the answer was simple, I would still love them and take care of them. After that, all my other ways of thinking started falling apart.

If it is the right thing to do for your kids, why would it be different for any other kid out there? Any other person at all for that matter? This was the first time I really examined how I was thinking about others and began my journey to being more empathetic to others and their situation.

The last thing I would add, while I had this “ah ha” moment in my late 20’s, I still had a long way to go to get to where I am now in my 50’s. Each and every time I am exposed to something outside of what I think I know I have to stop myself from making a snap judgment about the person or situation. I still use the same basic question that got me started so many years ago….

“What if it was one of my kids?”

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

As I work my way through my 50’s I have began a new chapter in my life as an artist.

Growing up it was clear I had no artistic talent at all. Couldn’t draw or paint, basic coil pots in art class were a complete failure, and even basic crafty type school projects turned out pretty lousy for me. I enjoyed theater and was a good singer so I did have a creative outlet but in my mind I was absolutely not an artist.

Fast forward a couple decades and I found myself being awarded a sabbatical from work. Four weeks to just recharge, maybe learn something new, work on a project, whatever. At this point I was at a crossroads for work. I enjoyed what I did as well as the company I did it for, but was bored. So I was looking at different positions within my company to apply for. Try something new. However I was able to talk myself out of applying for all of them. Generally it came down to me deciding that I was not qualified, or not qualified enough and I wouldn’t get it anyway. Once again a conversation with my sister got me thinking differently. We were talking about my upcoming sabbatical and she asked what I was going to do with my time. Her suggestion, try something you are pretty sure you won’t be good at.

So that is what I did. I immediately thought I should try something artistic. A bit of a cheat perhaps as I already knew I would be lousy at it so there was no built in fear of failure but it was something. I did some research and stumbled across a video of somebody using alcohol inks. I thought it looked kind of cool, there didn’t seem to be a need to create anything recognizable, and, most importantly to me, it was cheap. I ordered a set of alcohol inks and some paper and that was the start.

What I found was that I really didn’t need to create a specific thing to make something interesting to look at. Even the things I created that I thought were horrible though didn’t create a feeling of discouragement. I found I was enjoying the process as much as the outcome itself.

Over the last couple years I have evolved from a guy just sort of screwing around with some inks, to a guy who creates art with both inks and paints, working on glass and canvas, and creating weird little 2D and 3D art pieces. I have sold numerous pieces and donated works as well for charity events. I have even had a couple pieces on exhibit in local juried art shows. For someone who was “not an artist” it has been quite an experience.

At this point I continue to create out of a spare room in my house that also serves as my office for my regular job, a creation space for my kids, and general household storage. One of my main focus points now is building out an art class for kids. I am obviously not a trained artist. One of the major benefits of that is I have no idea when I am doing something wrong. It is all just an experiment. If it goes well, great! If not, I am usually unbothered. Honestly, what the heck do I know anyway?

The kids class will focus on thinking outside of the box. Paintbrushes, technique, etc are all fantastic but what if that is not your thing? I want to show them how to create in any way their hearts tell them too. My hope is it really helps to kickstart the creativity and imagination that is so important to foster.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

1. Applying the “what if it was my kids” approach – Whenever I find myself stuck in a thought loop about something impacting someone else that is outside my experience I make sure to ask myself that question. As a 53 year old white dude I will never experience racism or sexism like so many others do. I don’t “know how it feels” to be othered in those ways. I can only scratch the surface of how that might make a person feel, the fear and anger that it can create, and then do my best to be part of a solution.

2. Believe what others tell you about their experiences. – If I am not living it then I need to trust the person that is. In my experience they are telling the truth and I can learn from it.

3. Be silly. – It is my opinion that unless we are silly from time to time we are missing a major release valve from all the ugly we all encounter. Tell stupid jokes, make silly faces, dance to the music in the store. Let yourself go!

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

My default approach is that of a caregiver. I want to help and at times I am spread pretty thin between family, community, and work. There are times where I feel like I am in a constant state of being overwhelmed.

How do I combat it? Not well. One of my biggest challenges right now is trying to create opportunities to de-stress and take part in a little self-care. Also to believe I deserve to be anything but overwhelmed.

My advice? Keep trying. Talk to friends, get a therapist, go outside and scream really loud, something to break up the cycle. The trickiest part is tamping down that voice in your head that says you aren’t enough.

Sadly I have not found a consistent solution for this…so…I just keep trying.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: unique_artistry_magnuson