Meet Joshua Arnoldy

We recently connected with Joshua Arnoldy and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Joshua, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?

I can’t say that I’ve felt particularly resilient in my life. There are too many moments where my mind dreams up things a bit bigger than reality wants to let come to light. When I was younger, I had a feeling that I was meant for something great, almost as if nothing could stop my destiny to be something amazing and do something incredible. Growing up in a rural town in North Central Kansas led me to believe that I could do anything I wanted to do. However, with age and time, I realized that I was just a big fish in a small pond. My outlook seemed significant not because I was particularly special, but because I was often one of the only ones who tried anything new. In high school, I was a Kansas All-State musician, organizational state officer, lead in the school play, starter on my basketball team, and active in my community. While I was proud of these accomplishments, I quickly realized that failure hit me very hard when it came.

My first instance of failure came when I ran for a national office during my senior year of high school for an organization I was involved in. It seemed like everyone around me was telling me how great I would be in this role, and if they were critical, it just rolled right off my back. I was untouchable and egotistical. When the time came to step up to the plate, I realized I was stretched so thin in my involvements that I hadn’t really put in the work I needed to be successful in this process. Needless to say, not only did I fail, I didn’t even make it to the final rounds of my goals. And it felt terrible. I felt like I was lied to by the people around me. I felt like no one really understood or had prepared me for success the way I would have liked them to.

So, I pulled back. I went off to college a bit more reserved than I previously was; still a go-getter, but a little more cautious. As I continued to encounter failures and trials (struggling with my sexuality, fitting in with my peers, comparing myself with others’ successes, and dealing with limited financial resources), I pulled back a little more each time. I landed where I’m at now: a well-educated, creative, passionate person with little to show for it. I’m writing this now, sitting in my apartment alone with my dog. I’m surrounded by projects I haven’t finished and books I wanted to read but never got to. So when I think of resilience, it is hard to imagine myself as that person.

Yet, I have always kept moving forward. I made it through college and fell into graduate school. I finished my master’s degree in the midst of the COVID-19 epidemic. My music continued to get made, even if my creative process was slower than I wanted it to be. I got my teaching license and now get to spend my day making music with kids, which has turned out to be one of the biggest joys in my life. Even now, tired and worn and sometimes feeling like I won’t every really accomplish anything, I continue to have ideas spring forth. I started sewing a quilt just like my aunts have done for me. I found outlets for my storytelling like Dungeons and Dragons. I started learning to write songs, play guitar, and record music. I continue to be a life-long learner. And after all of this time, for some reason or another, I still hear a calling for my voice to find its place.

For creative people, resilience isn’t a skill so much as a way of life. There are so many things outside of our control, but we continue to wake up and keep moving forward. When the calling to make something rises up inside of you, it can’t be squashed down for long. More than anything though, I think my resilience comes from my parents.

My mom was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis when she was at an unusually young age and has struggled with health issues all of her life. Her hands are permanently deformed from years of joint issues and surgeries. Yet, these things never really bothered me when I was growing up. She was just mom. Despite the challenges she has faced, I think she is one of my biggest inspirations. If you want to talk about resilience, then try fighting everyday against a body that seems like its working against you. My mom and I are a lot more alike than I would care to admit at times! We are both big dreamers. She often will say that she doesn’t know where I get my “talent” from, but I know it’s from her. She taught me to go after even the most impossible dreams I could think up.

My father grew up the only boy in a family of seven. When his parents died, he was tasked with raising his youngest sibling as she finished high school. She then passed away when I was in middle school from cancer. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I often think back to how much that must have hurt my father, not only as her big brother but as one of her care-takers. My dad has always been a loner of sorts. He doesn’t really like to be around a lot of people and he would probably come off as very cold or hard if you met him for the first time. However, he is one of the most compassionate and kind people I know. I got to see the way he cared for the animals around our little family farm. I saw him break down crying during his only daughters father-daughter dance at her wedding. I imagine him growing up with six sisters and how that must have effected his character, how kindness and care are fundamental parts of him. He is always willing to help those around him, and I love to make him laugh when we spend time together.

That is the foundation of the home I grew up in. We didn’t have a lot of money, but we were fortunate to have our own house. My mom researched dozens of scholarships to help my sister and me go to college. They showed up to every performance, sports event, community program, etc. They built a place for me to thrive despite the challenges I’m sure they faced daily. It’s their resilience that allowed me to grow up and dream for more.

Resilience doesn’t always look the way we image success to be, and when we are critical of ourselves, it can go unnoticed. It’s easy to sit back and think about all of the ways we fail ourselves. But I think ultimately, resilience is about going on anyway. I think sometimes about why I am creative. Is it to make money? to become a famous musician? to have influence over others?

As nice as they sound, none of these reasons particularly motivate me as a creative person. I think my resilience must stem from a desire to recreate the same love and support I’ve received, through community and world-building. It’s the reason I love teaching. It’s the reason I love singing and making music. It’s the reason I still feel the need to speak up when I feel like laying down. How could I possible stop when I think about the people who have shaped me today? What would a world look like where I hone my inspiration for all to share? And what a shame it would be if I never tried?

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

When I think of myself, I find it hard to encompass all that I want to do and could possibly be into one thing. Am I just a musician? a writer? an educator? a friend? a leader? I don’t really know anymore which of these fits the best.

I think in my bones, I am first and foremost a story-teller. Whether it be through my classroom lessons, a new composition or song, through a journal entry or a podcast, I want to share stories that move people and shape the world we all live in. Humans learn best from story-telling, from fairy-tales to biographies, from history lessons to pop songs, even from TikToks to podcasts. People are driven to learn and absorb information in the most compelling of ways. Stories teach us lessons, they broaden our horizons, they spark our imaginations, and they warn us of our faults.

I have always felt a strong influence from the stories of people across the world in my music. When writing for concert ensembles in a more classical musical style, I have always tried to encompass the emotional range of a story within the context of the music. One example of this is my String Quartet No. 1: Emma, which was written in the memory of one of my closest friend’s mother who passed away the year after we graduated college. Split up into two movements, Life and Elegy reflect the beauty of her life and the mourning of losing someone so special. I incorporate extended techniques of tapping on the instruments throughout the composition to guide the listener into a more intimate mindset. You can find a recording of this composition from my graduate recital performed by University of Houston musicians on my SoundCloud that is linked to this article.

Over the past few years, I have also been very strongly influenced by pop music and the intricacies of music production. Although I do not currently have any music released on streaming platforms, I have been honing my songwriting, singing, and production skills under the name of Josh Mellos. You can follow my TikTok channel to hear updates on what I have been working on there.

Inspired by a desire to learn and grow, I’ve also been journaling and writing. I am hoping to start recording some of these entries and releasing them as podcast or audio blogs through my website.

In my day-to-day life, I currently work as a music educator in a public elementary school in the Houston area. I am driven by my wonderful colleagues and mentors to hone my craft as an educator by equipping students with the abilities to experience and grow in music in any moment of their lives.

Recently I have been focusing a lot on community building and collaboration. I am always looking for new projects and inspiring people to work with.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

I have been fortunate to have so many incredible mentors, colleagues, and friends who have helped me on my journey. I believe the most important things to help on your journey are:

1. Be a life-long learner.

Education cannot stop when we finish school. Learning to live our best lives comes from constantly evolving and growing as people. It is important not only to be open to this learning, but to seek it out. Travel and meet new people when you can. Absorb the expertise of the professionals around you. Read a book about something you want to learn. Take on new challenges. Sit it on a class you wouldn’t normally take. Do something new and exciting.

Some of the best ways I continue to learn independently is by keeping a journal, and reading. I write down quotes from colleagues, mentors, and books that inspire me. Don’t be afraid to write down what you have learned today, or record a small voice note of your daily life. Even if you never revisit it, it will teach you to be more aware of yourself and your surroundings.

The best learners also learn from teaching others. As a public school educator, teaching children has widened my horizons so much. I’ve learned how to set and enforce boundaries, how to interact and differentiate with many kinds of people, and how to find joy in any moment. It has taught me how I cope with enormous levels of stress. My students have taught me how to level and recenter myself in tough situations. I’ve learned the art of leading others and how to allow them to lead on their own. While I have grown from teaching professionally, I believe anyone can grow from teaching the people around them. Make short youtube videos about what interests you. Start a podcast. Reach out to grow and share your learning, and you will find that you are continuing to learn in every interaction.

2. Be prepared to do it yourself, with what you have.

One of my struggles with creating music is that I don’t have all of the resources that I would like to have. I don’t have a background in recording and producing. I don’t have a full-time orchestra to play through compositions. I don’t have an enormous following to interact with on social media.

I’ve learned that you can’t wait for all the stars to align. Of course it would be easier to make an album with a record label, do a photo shoot with a full make-up and design team, or write a book with a devoted editor. If you don’t have those things, you have to keep moving forward on your own. I often fall into the trap of wanting more equipment (a new guitar, microphone, software, etc.), but having these things won’t make-up for the experience of creating with what I do have.

Believe that your art has value and can stand on its own, even when it isn’t as highly produced as you wish it could be. If you don’t, no one else will either.

My music will never be perfect, and I know that it is far from the level I wish that it was at; but, I have found that I have to just keep learning and moving forward with the knowledge and resources I do have. I know that continuing to create will lead to more opportunities later. It inspires me to think of how many successful musicians started out right where I am now, making music in their bedroom with a guitar, a journal, and a microphone.

3. Trust the best version of yourself.

One piece of reading that has stuck out to me is that “we are not our thoughts.” Our minds are very advanced computers, and they are coded to keep us alive. We all have developed ways to compensate with staying alive. Through trauma, poor support systems, addiction, and pain, our minds have taught us how to keep moving. This is just programming. At one point in your life, your brain learned how to survive difficult situations and what it needed to do to avoid pain.

The problem is that this programming isn’t there to help us grow. So when we set out to change the coding (stop our bad habits, get out of our comfort zones, or be consistent with new goals) our brains will naturally resist. It’s main power is in our thoughts. Your brain will tell you that you aren’t good enough to follow your dreams, that you NEED to have that addiction (including phones, procrastination, eating), that putting yourself out there will end in misery or humiliation.

If we cannot separate our lives from our thoughts, there is no escaping this. You CAN reprogram your mind. You have to break the mold and step outside of your own thoughts. When they turn negative, remember these thoughts aren’t really you. It takes practice and consistency, but pushing past this can rewire your thoughts to be more positive.

When I struggle to follow through on a personal goal, I try to remember to trust myself when I was setting it. The best version of myself said I could do this, even if my brain is telling me I can’t in this moment.

It can even help to give your “best self” a name. Mine is Alex, though I couldn’t tell you why! If you’ve ever heard of Beyoncé’s alter ego, Sasha Fierce, then this is a similar mentality.

When I am on my runs, and I feel like I can’t go any further, I turn on Alex. Alex can run any amount. Alex can push through anything. Alex isn’t worried about anything. I even have started using Alex in my daily life. When I’m exhausted and can’t do anything else, Alex can. Alex isn’t real, he is just a way to summon my best self forward. This may sound silly, but he has helped me to stay disciplined and consistent more than anything else has.

Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?

When things aren’t ok, start by naming what is wrong. There is a lot of power in labeling what you are feeling. It allows these abstract things to have a place in existence other than this weird unknown beyond of our own bodies and minds.

I get overwhelmed easily. I hate disappointing others. I am often concerned with making the “right” choices. I set high expectations for myself, and often don’t follow through like I planned initially.

When I get dysregulated, I’ve learned to take a few steps that help:

First, STOP. If I am moving in space or performing a task, just stop. Even when I am standing in front of a classroom teaching, stop for a moment. We are conditioned to always be perfect, especially when interacting with others socially, but I think you will find most situations will allow you take a moment to just pause for a few moments. There are moments where this is just not possible. If you cannot stop now, take a moment to recoup and move to the next step when you are able.

Second, name what is physically feeling wrong. When I’m emotionally overwhelmed, it manifests in my stomach and in my head most often. Recognize these specific feelings. My head feels numb. My stomach is uneasy. My legs are fatigued. My eyes feel dry. Etc.

Third, if it is appropriate, I will speak my thoughts out loud. Let the words just flow and name your feelings as they come. Do not be worried about being “correct”. If you say something out loud that doesn’t sit right, that is a gold mine. Dig into it. Do your emotions feel like a whirlwind? Is it a pain in your heart? Are you feeling apathetic? Avoidant? Heated? Sort through it for a couple of minutes. Try to analyze why this moment is putting you in this position.

Continue until you can check-in physically. Do your symptoms from the second step feel any better? If so, then it may be time to return to the task. If not, think about your physical health. Is this from a lack of sleep? Have I been eating well? Am I drinking enough water? Have I moved in the last hour? If I cannot regulate my feelings of overwhelm from speaking them out loud, then I probably need to rest.

This is ultimately just a process of self-reflection. It prevents me from spiraling into unease. In school, I get to model to my students how to regulate emotions. And in my life, I get to show those around me that I care about my own well-being. I often know I am better because I named the symptoms I was experiencing and can directly note the improvement.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://joshuaarnoldy.com
• Instagram: arnoldyjo
• Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/josh-arnoldy-416430295/string-quartet-no-1-emma-mvt-1-2-performance-from-nov-2019?si=b0ef288026a24466be38d3f4b659a0d4&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing
• Other: TikTok: @joshmellosmusic

Image Credits

MaKinlie McRae, Aryan Tayal