We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Julia Hartman a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Julia , we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
My confidence and self-esteem developed through life experiences. I truly believe that trials and tribulations help us to grow and evolve into the person we are meant to be. I sometimes feel like I’ve lived many lives because I’ve experienced so many life changing events over the years. I can remember times where I felt like I really hit rock bottom and couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s there, even when we feel like it’s not. When I was able to step back into the light I grew more resilient and confident through that experience and now I can look back and express gratitude for each time I felt like I wouldn’t survive the struggle. Now this isn’t to say all it took was challenging life experiences or major changes, this also took a lot of self-work. I had to go through the tough times and experience emotional pain to really learn how to take a look in the mirror and accept responsibility for my part in situations. I had to spend time getting real with myself and work through my own trauma to break patterns that kept me in a place where I felt I wasn’t good enough.
Some things that felt challenging but that ultimately helped me to develop my confidence were: moving across the country without a job, to a city where I didn’t know anyone (sounds crazy, and maybe it was a little, but it was life changing in the best way). Heartbreak. One of the greatest pains I believe we can face in this life is heartbreak because you are grieving someone that is still alive. No matter the circumstance of the relationship, heartbreak hurts, and it has also been my greatest teacher. Getting two degrees and becoming a college professor when I was I told in highschool I would never go to college or do anything with my life. Investing in therapy and other treatment modalities, facing things in my past I never wanted to uncover and then uprooting the negative core beliefs and creating new healthy ones. Remaining disciplined even when I wanted to give up. Discipline is a form of self-love and each time we show ourselves we are capable, we develop the belief that we are worthy of greatness because we give that to ourselves.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I’m a licensed clinical social worker and life coach. I run my own practice and specialize in working with individuals struggling with anxiety, self-esteem/confidence issues, dating and relationships. I’m working on expanding my practice this year and although I’m trauma-informed, I’m learning a new therapeutic modality to incorporate in my practice and help those who experienced trauma or secondary trauma (such as first-responders). My goal is to hire therapists and coaches in the next year to join the practice, run more retreats and create products to help my clients in between our sessions.
I’m very passionate about helping women develop their confidence and to learn to fully love themselves. Through my own experience and in the therapy I’ve received I’ve been able to remove the blocks that were holding me back from truly loving myself. This has been incredibly freeing for me and I’ve never felt so confident and alive before. I walk in my power, I’m my authentic self, I’m happy and feel at peace. I want others to experience this feeling too!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Looking back I think that spending time alone and getting to know yourself on a deeper level is one way to learn who you are and what you truly want. We are surrounded by so much stimulation, it’s important to get quiet and listen to what your mind, body and spirit really need. By way of education I have a masters degree in Social Work and I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and I would not be able to run my practice or work any of the jobs I’ve had throughout my career without my education. That said, I found that I became a stronger and more informed practitioner when I faced my own struggles head on and took time working through these challenges in therapy, journaling, meditation and somatic exercises. It is so vital that we go through the pain we face during tough times rather than trying to go around or ignore problems. I would also suggest you take risks in life. What I’ve learned through taking risks is that it feels so big and scary in that moment, your brain is telling you to abort the mission but when you tell you fears to take a back seat and decide to leap, you will see on the other side of fear is an entirely new life waiting for you. Sure, it may not be easy and you will be presented with different challenges, but that is what helps you to grow and learn new skills. Each time you take a leap of faith you will feel more confident and resilient. You can develop confidence like a muscle and one of the ways to do this is by taking the risk.
Looking back over the past 12 months or so, what do you think has been your biggest area of improvement or growth?
In the past 12 months I’ve really grown personally and professionally, I’ve spent the last year focused on doing the work, not just talking about it. I took time off of social media, engaged in therapy, somatic work, health and wellness and practice different forms of self-care. My private practice has grown, I work in a Los Angeles ER and I’m an adjunct professor. I definitely keep myself busy, but I’ve also allowed space for more downtime which has been great for keeping my cup full. I feel that through all these positive changes I’ve became my most confident and authentic self and even though my journey hasn’t always been easy, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Each challenging time I’ve faced has made me more resilient and I’m beyond grateful for the life lessons that helped get me to where I am today.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.juliahartmancoaching.com/
- Instagram: @jhartmancoaching
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/jhartmancoaching
