Meet Julianna Sosa

We were lucky to catch up with Julianna Sosa recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Julianna, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

When you’re four years old a question like this yields answers with no bounds. My crayon dragging and rumbling against orange construction paper – where to begin? I absolutely knew. “HORSES” I’d write. As far as I was concerned that was probably the best job someone could have. Not a vet, not a farm, just, “horses.” It was my liquid truth, forever destined to slip through my fingers while I try to make something of it.

Fast forward to middle school where I remember leaders at church praying over all of us. They prayed for clarity that god would reveal our “callings.” It was rather interesting that all at once so many of us were apparently ‘called’ to spend thousands of dollars to visit Israel, a place thick with religion, to spread the “word of god.”

Although there was something reassuring about the idea of a finite destination on which to focus all of my creativity, precision, rage, and talent, I often felt overwhelmed by the idea. There was and is a certain insecurity when my path would take a sharp turn from acting school to pre-law then over to biology and on and on.

I often questioned myself: Why do I keep changing my mind? Why can’t I just stick to one thing? Why can’t I find my purpose? Am I a jack-of-all-trades but master-of-none?

Then it clicked.

A purpose is not a job. It’s not even any interest at all. A “purpose” as we know it is actually complete bullshit.

We are not on this planet to find a calling, our very breathing is the reason we are here. I argue that it is our purpose to come back to a childlike understanding that seeking joy with the caveat of doing no harm is enough. Let your inner peace lead you and take note that although not all things you do in life will bring you peace, you are living your purpose so as long as you listen to yourself and more importantly, believe yourself.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I tend to see all things in a triad: heart, mind, and gut. In the same way, these three parts represent who I am and what I do.

Heart: I am a mother. With two daughters, Wendy & Sylvie, still expressing themselves in half-babble half-heaven, I spend most of my non-working hours wrapped in elbows and knees, dishing out yogurt pouches, and deeply analyzing cartoon characters.

Mind: I work in comms for a non-profit working to advance LGBTQ rights in the workplace on a global level. In addition to crafting original content, driving storytelling for our organization, and analyzing the reception of that content, I get to meet incredible people with inspiring stories of resilience, pride, and strength in community.

Gut: I’m a musician. Along with my incredibly gifted multi-instrumentalist husband Brandon, I am one half of the duo Morningbath. As the primary lyricist for the band, I find a lot of myself flourishing through the expression of song and poetry. Our music is a soft blend of 90s dreamy bedroom pop, warm and organic 1970s folk rock, and a dash of uniqueness that comes from two individuals with crippling self-doubt and a lot of heart.

I would argue that none of these things are strictly one part of the triad, but more of a vendiagram of sorts.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

1. I think one of the most important things to remember is that none of us are entitled to anything. I remember an audition I had once that I wanted more than anything. I memorized the entire script, I practiced like crazy, I read every book I could find on the material, etc. But when it came to the audition, they ended up casting someone much older than me. I couldn’t believe it! I looked the part, I was the right age, and arguably the most prepared. I felt betrayed by the universe.

It was not until many years later that it occurred to me that I was never entitled to that role. I was not the victim I had believed myself to be. I was simply as entitled to the part as any other girl who decided to audition and therefore not really entitled at all.

When good things happen to us, it’s not because we deserve them. I think it’s completely random. That’s why gratitude is so important. Entitlement is the poison of gratitude and gratitude is the secret to a meaningful life. I think.

2.
‘A farmer’s horse ran away. His neighbors commiserated, “What a misfortune!” The farmer replied, “Maybe.”

The next day, the horse returned, bringing seven wild horses with it. The neighbors exclaimed, “What luck!” The farmer responded, “Maybe.”

The farmer’s son tried to tame one of the wild horses and fell, breaking his leg. The neighbors said, “What a tragedy!” The farmer replied, “Maybe.”

The following day, the army came to recruit young men. They rejected the farmer’s son because of his broken leg. The neighbors rejoiced, “What a blessing!” The farmer again replied, “Maybe.”‘

I actually heard this story for the first time in a children’s cartoon. As someone with unrelenting anxiety at times, this story is a simple reminder that no amount of worrying or certainty can predict the future. There’s something really comforting about knowing it’s going to be okay (or it isn’t) despite how much you think about it.

3. Growing up, my dad always said, “even when you’re right, you’re wrong.” At first blush it seems simple enough, but the more you sit with this offering the more complex it reveals itself to be.

It took me a while to understand that even if you have the correct information or perspective, it might not be the most beneficial or productive approach in a given situation.

This advice emphasizes the importance of humility, even when you’re confident in your beliefs. Sometimes, admitting you might be wrong or considering another viewpoint can lead to better outcomes and stronger relationships.

In the wise words of The Dude, “you’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole.”

All the wisdom you’ve shared today is sincerely appreciated. Before we go, can you tell us about the main challenge you are currently facing?

I have trouble saying no.

That’s an understatement.

When I can manage to say no, I feel like a terrible person. I can’t sleep. It replays in my mind like a horrifying YouTube ad popping up to interrupt any useful thoughts.

Working in a non-profit is a particularly challenging environment to say no. There is a sense that everyone is doing everything they can to fulfill a greater mission. Everyone is sacrificing. Everyone is saying yes. And even in my senior level position following a recent promotion, I still feel like an entry level intern, just lucky to be in the room. (I could write a thesis on imposter syndrome).

So, how do you know when your boundaries are being crossed? How do you communicate those boundaries without being the bad-guy?

Before answering those questions it’s important to step back and wonder if we’re asking the right questions in the first place. Before wondering how not to be the bad-guy, it’s worth considering that perhaps your co-workers don’t see you as a bad-guy for saying no in the first place.

As I ramble on about my difficulties, I’m reminded of a piece of advice I got from my mother, “say yes when possible and no when necessary.” But that advice is useless if you are in denial about your own limitations. You will never find a shortage of tasks being demanded of you so remember that your value is not in your yes’s, it’s in the quality of your work. And your work is only strengthened when you protect your boundaries with a balanced and reasonable work-load.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @morningbathmusic
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julianna-sosa