Meet Julie Barth

We were lucky to catch up with Julie Barth recently and have shared our conversation below.

Julie, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?

I don’t know if resilience “comes” from somewhere or if it is something that you are inherently born with. Role modeling no doubt has an effect on your ability to cope with difficult situations, but those modeling roles can be both negative and positive. Meaning you can choose to follow in the path of someone in authority, or you can commit to behave oppositely. We all know those in our lives who seem to encounter more bad luck than others. They stand out because they always seem to be in the midst of some crisis, yet they fight their way out and emerge, as if surfacing from a burning building unscathed.

Throughout my life, people have said things to me like “I don’t know how you do it.” In my mind there isn’t a choice. It isn’t like you do or you don’t do “it” whatever that means. When struggles arise, you have to arise to the occasion. I think a lot of it has to do with empathy and heavy sense of responsibility. My resilience comes from the realization that I am not here on Earth alone. It is the connections to family and loved ones, along with a deep sense of obligation that keeps me going. It isn’t about “me,” it is about what my role here is and I believe that I am on this Earth to make the best of life. That can only happen if I ensure that people around me, as well as myself, are well taken care of, safe, and secure. My resilience comes from the understanding that we are all connected in a way to support and care for one another. If I chose to fold, give up, shut down, and turn a blind eye to whatever I am facing, then I am not truly living my purpose.

We all have a higher purpose than to be on autopilot, making it through the day, so when I hit hard times, I consider it a natural flow of life and know that without being challenged, you don’t ever really know what you are made of. Also, without hardship, it becomes difficult to take joy in victories, no matter how small they appear to others.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I am the mother of six, widowed, then divorced, and a gen Xer. My book Notes From a BlackBerry is a memoir of caring for my daughter who has a rare genetic condition called Primordial Dwarfish and my young husband who was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer at the age of 34. At the time, we had four small children, the youngest just 6 months. My second book, From Blackberries to Thorns will be coming out in March in honor of domestic abuse month. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship that nearly destroyed me. From my hardships and struggles, I created the CJB Outreach, which is an organization that helps aid female-led household in times of crisis with necessary resources to regain security and stability.

My daughter Taytem, the subject of the first book is now 23, stands about four feet and weighs 20 pounds. After 46 surgeries, she has maintained her humor, grown beyond anyone’s expectations, and continues to amaze me. Her art is being sold at Hope4Tayt.com and all of the proceeds from it go to the CJB Outreach program so that we may help people who hit hard times the way that countless have helped us over the years. Considering I was told she would never sit up, eat, walk, talk, she is the shining star of resilience and inspires me everyday. There is a reason why fate put me in her path and that is to share her spirit and talents with the world. She is an exemplar of choosing positivity no matter what life hands you.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

If I want to pinpoint three characteristics that I feel have gotten me where I am in life, they are positivity, empathy, and gratitude. For those looking to realize their dream, every day that you get up and keep at it, makes a difference. If you chose to do something that you are passionate about and makes a positive impact on your life, than it will mean so much more than about realizing the dream at all. The joy will be found in the satisfaction of knowing that you did what you set out to do, love what you do, and take steps to be the most authentic you possible.

How can folks who want to work with you connect?

Acknowledging and making provisions for those who are emotionally abused is where my true passion lies. I couldn’t do anything to save my daughter from a rare genetic disease or my loving husband from cancer, but if I had seen the warning signs of being emotionally abused, I could have saved myself and my children from a decade of destruction. I used to think feminism was about blaming others for not getting where you want to be personally. In my youth, I thought the message was angry and negative, naively believing that women can get anywhere they want, if they want. It isn’t that I don’t believe the latter, I’ve just seen countless times the ways in which our society systematically puts bias and roadblocks in our paths.

Women put everyone above themselves, which I believe is the reason that civilization exists. They shouldn’t ever have to fight for safety, security, or stability. Once more, they shouldn’t ever have to put their children in harm’s way due to lack of resources. We ALL have women in our lives who are struggling, through no fault of their own. They struggle because of their good nature, and I think it is time that our society helps them out. Only when we realize that all we have can, likewise, disappear in an instant, do we seek to help those around us who are suffering. Just because women chose to be the nurturers, caregivers, child-rearers, and build a loving home to make the next generation one of good humans, that does not mean that they should be seen as “less” experienced, intelligent, strong, passionate, hard-working, or committed. Nothing breeds business skills more than juggling children, a household, a marriage, and sometimes work outside of the boundaries of your home. The experience gained through motherhood can far outweigh any internship, and anyone who raises children and a loving home has definitely paid their dues. The ones who get hit the most with hardships are the ones who don’t defend or protect themselves, and those are two things that mothers rarely do. That doesn’t make them weak or inexperienced; just the opposite.

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