Meet Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu

We recently connected with Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu and have shared our conversation below.

Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
Yue Xu: Growing up, I saw my parents hustle to create a life for us in a new country, all without the safety net of relatives, friends, or connections. Since we moved from China when I was 8, they drilled into me the idea that resilience is a special kind of privilege. It’s like having a bunch of backup plans. When I am faced with adversity, I always remind myself how lucky I am to have the option to try a different path.

Julie Krafchick: From an early age, I was taught to keep going and work through the challenges; this was a core value in our family. I saw how hard my Dad worked in our family business and always looked at him as a role model. My mom provided a lot of opportunities for me growing up that fostered my self-worth, autonomy, and problem-solving skills. Therapy was also pivotal in building emotional resilience; I learned how to overcome challenges in a way that built my confidence instead of depleted it.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu are active daters turned dating sociologists. Since 2016, they’ve been running Dateable, a podcast, community, and knowledge source for finding love in today’s world.

Through the podcast, special programs, and community events, Yue and Julie help you navigate modern dating culture and finally break up with bad dating habits. They invite you to challenge your preconceived notions around dating, love, and relationships – and DIY the love life that works for you. They’ve talked to thousands of real-life daters and experts to understand why we date the way we do. Previous guests have included Mark Manson, Emily Nagoski, and Candace Bushnell, as well as dating app creators, psychologists, therapists, behavioral researchers, and relationship coaches.

Dateable has climbed the Apple Podcast Charts with its peak at #6 in the Relationships Category and named one of the top podcasts about modern dating and relationships by the New York Times, The Huffington Post, AskMen, BET, and more. Julie & Yue’s work has been featured on CNN, NBC News, MSNBC, The Washington Post, and New York Public Radio. They are currently writing a book (published by Simon & Schuster), to be released in 2025.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Julie Krafchick

1) Just do it: We often think we don’t have enough skills or enough experience to get started. The only way to learn is by doing.! When we first started our podcast, we had no idea what we were doing! But over the years, we learned more and refined our skills. You don’t have to know everything all at once.

2) Everyone has Imposter Syndrome: Even some of the most successful people I know shared their doubts, insecurities, and fears that creep into their work. So remember that next time you feel like you aren’t supposed to be where you are. None of us have it fully together. You aren’t an imposter; you have opportunities to grow further.

3) Be a forever learner: The most successful people are constantly learning and always have their student hat on. They are humble enough to know they don’t know everything. Instead of dwelling on what they don’t know, they focus on learning as much as possible about that topic. That’s how expertise is built.

Yue Xu:

1) Always aim for a win-win situation. Sometimes, it seems like if someone else is winning, we’re automatically losing. But that’s not the deal. There’s always a chance for everyone involved to walk away happy.

2) Cultivate curiosity like it’s your daily routine. No need to live in the land of unknowns or uncertainties. When you stumble upon something you’re not familiar with, fire away with questions, do your research, and hunt down the answers. Even if it’s a topic you might never cross paths with again, the key is to make curiosity your go-to habit.

3) Start by being your own top priority. It’s super tempting to think we have to look after everyone else, meet their needs, or let their opinions mold us. But the truth is, what matters is taking care of yourself – that means putting our needs first and owning up to our actions.

Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
We’re always looking for interesting guests for our podcast Dateable! If you have a story about dating, relationships, and love where you’ve faced an obstacle, grown from a situation, or changed how you viewed love entirely, we want to hear from you! We would also love to collaborate if you’re an expert in the self-help, dating, or adjacent spaces.

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Joseph Gabriel Ilustrisimo, Louise Wo

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