We were lucky to catch up with Karen Elkins Cohen recently and have shared our conversation below.
Karen, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
Like many kids, I felt like an outcast in school. One day I overheard some popular girls talking behind another popular girl’s back about her clothes, and I had an epiphany. The popular girls weren’t all smarter, prettier, or had better clothes (many had one or two of those traits, but not all three). The difference was confidence. They walked around like they believed they were smarter, prettier, and had better clothes. “Fake it ‘til you make it” became my mantra. No matter how I felt inside, I pretended that I believed I was smart and looked good.
It worked! Over time, I developed confidence in myself. I worked in many jobs with all kinds of personalities through college, which was enormously helpful in developing the ability to project self-assurance. It paid huge dividends. Even now, I continue to employ “fake it ‘til you make it” when faced with potentially awkward situations like networking at a conference or attending an event where I don’t know anyone. I tell myself that I am smart and look great, walk in with a smile, and introduce myself to someone else who is standing alone.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I am an organization development and human resources consultant committed to helping leaders manage others equitably and effectively. My HR consulting practice includes reworking employee handbooks for equity, coaching new human resources professionals, leading succession planning, and what I call “selective offboarding.” My tagline is, “Never fire anyone again,” because I believe that no one wants to be bad at their job — some people are simply in the wrong role. I work with leaders to help employees who may be out of place explore their areas of strength, leading to their exiting the role voluntarily and on good terms.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Self-awareness/emotional intelligence: Individuals who can identify and manage their own emotions are a huge benefit to an organization. That’s not to say you should never “be emotional” — it’s knowing when displaying emotion works in your favor and how to display it. Frenetic energy often increases co-workers’ stress and constant complaining regularly spreads decreased morale or frustration.
Ability to hear feedback: The hardest employees to manage are those who refuse to learn or admit mistakes. When supervisors perceive employees as being too fragile to hear feedback, it limits both people’s growth; the supervisor doesn’t practice delivering developmental feedback and the employee doesn’t gain an opportunity to incorporate it and level up. When you’re given developmental feedback and can say, “I hear you, thank you,” you lower tension, demonstrate accountability, and increase professional growth.
Ability to incorporate feedback: Requesting and listening to feedback is a great first step, but then you need to understand how to incorporate it. For example, if you receive feedback that you miss deadlines, you must actively work to correct that behavior. Asking AI to create a plan might be a good start, or searching YouTube for instructional videos. The final step would be to return to the person who delivered feedback, share your new plan, and find out if you successfully integrated the information.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
When I was young, my father told me that when people are stressed, they can’t think through a problem to solve it effectively. Remembering that helps me stay calm amid the whirlwind. Often taking a walk, or in the case of untangling a thorny employee issue stepping away to work on a puzzle or paint, allows me to return a challenging work situation with fresh eyes and renewed energy. I recently reread Aaron Balick’s “The Little Book of Calm: Tame Your Anxieties, Face Your Fears, and Live Free” because the short chapters remind me of the many tools available to help me when I’m overwhelmed. I use them often!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.executivehumanresources.com
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karen-elkins-cohen-sphr-msod-947a924?lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_profile_view_base_contact_details%3BJDZM8stcRcyYbs8jADN7cg%3D%3D
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
