Meet Kari Kirkland

We recently connected with Kari Kirkland and have shared our conversation below.

Kari , so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
As a kid, adaptability was my best friend. My parents were musicians, so we were almost constantly on the move. I adapted as quickly as possible to an ever-changing landscape of friends and acquaintances, hotel rooms and caravans, new schools and sometimes home-schooling, and the daily and nightly grind of being on the road. Unpredictability was the only constant. It makes for a bit of a shell-shocked adrenal system, but there was a lot that was positive about this way of life. Still, the one thing that it didn’t foster in me was self-confidence. I’ve often thought about the difference between self-reliance, self-assurance, and self-confidence. It seems they just aren’t as interchangeable as I’d hoped. When I left home, I was grateful for the years of “training” in the real world. I was completely self-sufficient, sometimes working as many as 4 jobs to make ends meet. It was really important to me to be in total control of my world, having come from 16 years of feeling as though I had none. Surprise, surprise… it’s been a bumpy road learning that this kind of thinking is not sustainable. I think I substituted control for confidence. Performing esteem-able acts certainly fueled a sense of self-esteem, but it never really put down roots. Fast-forward into my 40’s, when I decided to pursue music full time. I can’t imagine a more confidence-crushing arena than the arts… where thick skin isn’t just recommended; it’s a full-time requirement. I have heard “no” more times than I can count. But, I’ve heard “yes” more times than I imagined possible. The huge turning point in my self-confidence for me was after performing a show for 15,000+ people, when the circumstances were really working against me. I was on stage with people I’d never worked with before, and it was hugely challenging going into the gig with only an hour of rehearsal prior. When things went sideways during the gig, I felt an otherworldly sense of calm. It’s difficult to describe the feeling of letting go of control when it comes to something you’re insanely passionate about, but that’s what happened. I realized that I could be in this incredibly uncomfortable situation, yet still do the very best job I could, and smile and style through it… without being absolutely terrified of the outcome. Since then, my confidence on stage has continued to blossom. I still have my moments, but getting through a gig that would have broken me in the past, gave me the feeling that I could do anything.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I am a full-time vocalist, producer, and performer, based in Palm Desert, CA. I moved here from Seattle, WA, where I owned and operated a Circus Training Center and Special Events Space with my husband. We worked together for 8 years creating and producing large-scale theatrical circus shows as well as offering both high-level professional and recreational coaching for Flying Trapeze and Aerial Apparatus’. I had integrated my vocals into some of our circus shows, but it wasn’t until my husband suggested that I start taking singing more seriously that I began imagining the life I have now. We sold our company in 2019, and I took the leap moving here to the desert full time to pursue music. The pandemic obviously put a huge stick in the spoke of nearly every artist’s career. I did my best to carry on from home, working hard to bring an album of 12 songs I’d recorded a few years prior to fruition. I explored from the ground up how to produce an album independently. I made every possible mistake along the way, and learned more from the experience than I ever would have if I’d gone to school for 10+ years. I released my first independent album in February of 2021. Because I couldn’t tour it, I did as many radio, zoom, blog, podcast, print, and phone interviews as possible. I learned how to harness social media (as best I could!). It was challenging, maddening at times, and so richly rewarding. I wouldn’t change a thing. I recorded my second album in October 2021, and released it in January 2023. I’m heading into studio to record my third album in just a few weeks. I perform regularly in the Palm Springs area, as well as Los Angeles. There’s still so much more to learn, and I assume there always will be. I’m in absolute awe of the technology available these days, and think about my teenaged self, in heaven recording on a 4-track to cassette… and I marvel at what’s to come.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I think the ability to stay calm under pressure is huge. I call it “working the problem”; looking at what’s most pressing, and working to solve it rationally and calmly. Not looking so far down the line that you lose sight of what’s going on immediately in front of you. Knowing that most challenges can be sorted out, and that getting agitated rarely helps the situation has helped me stay really positive. I also think that nurturing a great support system has been a game-changer. Finally, putting my health first has been a recent priority that has served me so well. Physical and mental health are key. I became a living kidney donor in October, 2021, so making sure that I’m taking care of myself in every way has become paramount to my success. Ok – just one more… learning how to say no (politely), and not take on too much at one time, has proven one of the most valuable lessons of my life.

My advice for younger musicians is to stay humble, know your value, and prioritize your health. Learning to react rationally to challenges has to be tested and tried. It’s a process, but one that can serve you if you’re willing to self-reflect and keep listening.

Do you think it’s better to go all in on our strengths or to try to be more well-rounded by investing effort on improving areas you aren’t as strong in?
I was an Ironman Triathlete for a few years, and one of my coaches used to say “Train your weakness, race your strength”. I feel like this has served me in every area of my life since then! One thing I am careful of now, though, is not expecting that my strengths will always be there. My vocal range may change. My creativity ebbs and flows. These are aspects of myself that, while here today, might be gone tomorrow. I try to be as well-rounded as possible, without forgetting that some things may be fleeting. Like relationships, our strengths and challenges can evolve over time, for better or for worse. Learning to roll with what’s happening for you right NOW is critical. Adapting to change, accepting what’s happening in the present, and not focusing on how things ‘were’ or ‘should be’ has been a great turning point for me.

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Image Credits
Jordan Pickett, Matt Kallish

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