We recently connected with Karin Horen and have shared our conversation below.
Karin , thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
At the age of 50 my mum passed away from a heart attack. I was 25 years old and that left a huge scar and trauma. I had to say goodbye to someone who was such a significant part of my life. She struggled a lot as a wife and mum, as my dad served in the military for 16 years and then we moved to Africa, had to escape a revolution and she found herself raising my brother and I on her own while my dad continued living in Nigeria for another 8 years after we left. It was tough, although we had family around and really great community, the everyday struggles were real.
Teenage days are challenging and I am facing this stage myself, with my three teens. While my dad was not sending money at times, as his business was struggling too, she had to find solutions. Lucky she had skills and experience as a physiotherapist and that we had our grandparents around.
I watched her sacrifice so much but at the time, I did not understand it fully. The one thing I learned was not to dwell on things, and move forward, while being my dad’s daughter I learned to be assertive and strong as he was in the military for 16 years and had his way of discipline and showing resilience. He loved life and travelling, which my mum didn’t as much and so I definitely inherited the zest for life from him. He was an optimist, something I carry. My grandmother, His mum was similar to him. My other side of the family, my mum’s parents were Holocaust survivors and I watched them build themselves and their small family. I knew the stories they carried. I was born in Israel, served in the IDF in one of the top intelligence units, and learned what putting one foot in front of the other means, what working under pressure is and the meaning of consistency and discipline. It is an experience that is so hard to explain unless you have been there yourself. It taught me team work, looking after others and how quickly I can learn new skills. At the age of 26 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. That was a year after my mum passed away and I found myself pretty upset at times. My dad came to the rescue and I just kept going. Being diagnosed with cancer at 26, was a shock to the system. I had to undergo a couple of surgeries, partial mastectomy and treatments. This did not stop me from living life. I found the strength in me and knew I will be okay. Life was worth living. Fast forward I met the father of my children and had a volatile relationship to the point where I found myself at my lowest, with three kids on my own and another cancer diagnosis asking for the universe to save me, my soul was shattered. Something in me just kept on telling me to stay strong and I took some coaching classes, educated myself and started building a resilience tool box which I have been sharing with many people. I think I love life so much. I know things are temporary and that the storm will pass. I Started working on “me” and made sure that I nurture myself, while being mum and a career woman. I speak positively to myself as much as I can, I start my day with gratitude and when I trip, I get up. The more I fall I get up quicker and its always about keeping the promise to myself and having goals infant of me. Being a philanthropist, the co founder of Paddle For Hope and the PaddleOn cancer rehabilitation program, I have seen the worst cases of people losing lives. I paddled on the water with them, it has given me proportion to what can happen in our lives in a split of a second, and how we can’t control what we cannot control. I learned the strength in building communities and investing time in relationships. I guess that from the darkest times, and living in a country ( New Zealand ) far away from home, moving countries and being on the edge, you can either become selfish, full of fear and walk on the edge, feel sorry for yourself or you can grow resilience and focus on what you can do and achieve. my philosophy is simple : wake up, do what you promised to yourself, have clarity and at the same time be compassionate toward yourself and others.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I studied Communication and Political Science at university and graduated successfully with a Bachelor degree. I worked in Advertising for years, in big agencies such as Ogilvy and DDB. I became a Media Buyer and loved having the ability to communicate with people, help my clients grow and take care of their brand. I used to be quite artistic as a child, paint and write poems. This vanished at some stage and I became a lot more focused on academia and being practical. Success to me was all about achieving high grades, and being top of the class, as I am quite competitive ( Only realised this when I was in my 30’s). I fell in love with fitness and became an instructor when I lived in Sydney, after my first baby was born. I have beeb training since 2000, after my first breast cancer journey. I love yoga, pilates and resistance training. When I came to New Zealand I started paddle boarding and felt the immediate physical and mental benefits of the sport on my whole body. It quickly became sort of an addiction, and I completed a certificate as an instructor, and started the Paddle For Hope cancer rehabilitation fundraiser on the water which I then travelled with and fundraised overseas for, and this led to co found the PaddleOn program, a cancer rehabilitation 8 session program for cancer patients. In 2013 I was diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time and working with the physiotherapist has changed my life! I learned so much about our bodies, resilience, core strength and range of movement and could see the people so happy on the water. This program is now part of Pinc and Steel Rehabilitation Foundation series of programs for cancer patients. Since 2018 I have been collaborating with sponsors and have been fundraising through an event called EAT DRINK PINK. In 2018 I also launched a Mastectomy Friendly Swimwear range, and an online store ” One Of Us” which I close a couple of years later. This collaboration was incredible. together with Aurai Swimwear founder, Natalia Bertolo. From hospital bed while going through multiple reconstructive surgeries, we created the first New Zealand Fashion Week show, and we had cancer survivors on the runway. This was all happening while raising three children mostly on my own as their father has been travelling around the globe, working as an actor. I took on coaching courses and started engaging in public talks and gone back to work in 2016 only to find myself having more surgeries. My passion is helping people form my experience and so in 2019 I published my book ” I Am More Than Just My Tits ” and sold copies world wide. It was the beginning of something much bigger. I started talking in public more, hoping people, got into Real Estate. Lately I took a break from the Corporate world as I had to focus on my family more, my three kids and myself. I had a few episodes of burnout and I know my limits. Fatigue is a side effect of cancer, trauma and grief. I never look at myself as a victim but I am compassionate towards myself. My goal has been to help more people build their resilience, be attentive to their needs and speak on stages world wide. It is slowly happening. I used my voice online and launched my Podcast ” I am more than just my tits” to tell other people’s stories and share my toolbox for a fulfilling life, getting over obstacles, getting more clarity and self confidence and achieving goals. I love connecting with people, being an advocate for what I feel is true and right, and being authentic as I can be. Collaborations and working as a team has been one of my strongest values and I try to incorporate this is my life as much as I can. Surround myself with those who inspire me and share my values.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Probably one of my dominant skills is communication, establishing relationships and maintaining them. I love gathering people together and driving community forward for a cause.
As part of my career, I worked in advertising as a media buyer and as a salesperson, including in the real estate arena and head hunting. This requires discipline, consistency and good planning but more important understanding goals and navigating through the ups and downs of sales.
I guess that throughout the years I had my own battles and I have to remind myself and others that everything in life is temporary, and we cannot control what we cannot control. We have to remember not to generalise and use powerful positive words so attract good rather than negativity.
I tend to ask my clients and myself, as part of Healthy Thinking coaching, “Is this true”? it is important to identify our emotions, feeling and what we can do with how we feel. Feelings make us human and therefore our reaction counts. Resilience doesn’t mean not failing, its the opposite, you fail and get up. My advice, is to put time limits for how we react (usually to a negative situation) so we don’t allow it to take over and paralyse us for too long. Try to find solutions to problems. I have done a few other trainings with coached, and spoken with so many cancer patients, business people and colleagues along the years, and what I realised is that without a bit of “lows” you don’t get the “ups”. To understand who we are we need to define who we are, and only then set goals which can change according to where we are, while focusing on the journey which means that every 1% improvement or step forwards counts. Keep focusing on your own journey and goals. Self confidence will come from identifying who you want to become and being accountable to the steps. Keep it realistic, and go back to things you may wished to achieve and didn’t work out for you. It is never too late.
Another really important factor is establishing routines and good habits, which can help keep consistency and accountability. Exercising, being on a healthy diet and knowing what works for you is fundamental and to me its having a holistic approach to life. Fear can cause procrastination and we have to make sure we know why we are not ticking the boxes. Listen to yourself and find out if the reason you are not getting there is fear of success or failure which usually is connected to past experiences. Keep learning, reading and working on YOU!
How can folks who want to work with you connect?
Absolutely. I believe in working together as a team. I have always been a team player and I love exchanging information and knowledge.
My dream is to travel around the globe, building communities and making an impact on others. When I meet fellow coaches, speakers and other interesting inspiring people, I feel like a part of my brain has opened up to receive more. and this contributes to self growth. There are brands which align with my ethos/values and I would love to work with. I am interested in innovations and technology, breast cancer awareness affiliations, health and fitness.
I would love to collaborate with anyone who wants to hold hands and empower females, women who have been abused, growing businesses and coaching resilience and growth.
I am open to all opportunities.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.karinhoren.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karin_horen/?hl=en
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karin-horen-5518ab176/
Image Credits
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