Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Kate Ginsberg. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Kate, so great to have you on the platform. There’s so much we want to ask you, but let’s start with the topic of self-care. Do you do anything for self-care and if so, do you think it’s had a meaningful impact on your effectiveness?
I haven’t always been great at self-care. Being raised by a single mom, our budget growing up was extremely limited, so regular manicures, shopping trips, and vacations weren’t an option. My mom made it a point to spend quality time with us, find fun things to do around northwest Iowa where I was raised, and to teach us how to make the most of what we have. Even now, it can be challenging for me to slow down to engage in self-care and I often feel the need to justify spending time and money for just me. Self-care can feel selfish.
My work as a personal assistant has also informed and shaped my view of self-care. Many of my original clients were solo entrepreneurs at the tipping point in their businesses, handling as much as they possibly could on their own but struggling to get to the next level because they were maxed out on time and energy. For some, I simply handled the home tasks and chores so they didn’t have to utilize mental bandwidth for those things. For others, I bridged the gap at work by providing admin support until they were financially able to hire a full time office manager. Even with this experience, it took years for me to recognize that I was in the same boat. While I encouraged clients to off-load daily to-dos as a form of radical self-care, I didn’t make the connection that I deserve support in my home and business, as well.
I powered through on my own until the universe gifted me a swift and stunning reality check in February 2018. At that point, my husband Mike required a stem cell transplant as part of his treatment for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. We had a 7 year old and a 13 month old when he went into the hospital for three weeks. During his pre-transplant chemo, I tried to maintain my usual schedule: Work full-time with our baby in a carrier, attend all doctor appointments, get back home, make dinner, do the dishes and laundry, snuggle with my big kid, shower, collapse into bed exhausted, only to get up and repeat it again the next day. I managed (READ: struggled) through and knew I could not keep it up once Mike was admitted to the hospital. I worried that having needs and asking my friends and loved ones for help was overstepping and taking advantage of our friendships. When one of them asked, “Why don’t you want us to love you?”, I was absolutely shocked. I DID want my friends to love us. I DID want my kids and Mike to know that we had spent years building these relationships with people who truly wanted to support us. It was a hard lesson to give up my fiercely independent mindset and accept that I could not do all the things. When that dam broke, I leaned on our community hard. I accepted help in any way it was offered. From a Gofundme for medical bills, to babysitting, bringing meals, and doing the laundry, if a loved one or acquaintance asked what we needed, I told them. I made the decision that things didn’t need to be perfect or the way that I would do them. They just needed to be done.
Learning to ask for and accept help was one of the most challenging life lessons I’ve ever encountered. It’s been one of the most valuable ones too. Just a few years after Mike’s stem cell transplant, as we were catching our breath after his cancer returned during the early days of COVID and he completed a clinical trial treatment in Houston, a dear friend reached out to ask me another life-altering question: “What’s holding you back?” I had lamented in our group chat that I was swamped with work, booked out two full months, and absolutely drowning trying to keep all the balls in the air. There were many things that came to mind, but mostly it was TIME. I didn’t have the time to interview, train, hire, work, take care of my family, and everything else that needed to be done. Her response, “What if I help you?” forever changed my life, my business, and my understanding of support and self-care. She’s now my COO and together we are charting a new path based on the idea of delegation as a radical form of self-care. Since 2019, business has grown exponentially and the impacts of rewriting the narrative around delegation and self-care have become more and more apparent. With in-home support without judgment, our clients are thriving and pouring back into our community through volunteer work, healthier relationships, and their own businesses.
For me, self-care often looks like remembering to take my medications for ADHD and depression, putting on noise-cancelling headphones, holding boundaries to protect my time and energy, or just going to bed early when I’ve had enough of life for the day. It’s buying the silly thing that makes me happy, surprising friends with “just because” gifts or visits, joking with my kids, and taking weekend naps with my husband. Most importantly, it’s delegating all of the day to day things that are outside my zone of excellence, so that I can focus on continuing to grow my business, share my story with others who are struggling to find their footing because they are doing it all, and to offer empathy and support to people, particularly women, who feel as though they need to EARN self-care.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
When I started Queen of To Do, I was just a new mom trying to find a way to support my family while keeping my newborn with me. I envisioned an errand service and quickly found that people needed more than that. They needed someone to take care of the household stuff while they were focused on their careers and loved ones. By becoming a trusted part of their home, I was able to help alleviate their stress, smooth out the rough edges, and allow them to fully unwind when they were at home. It was like being a fairy godmother every day!
As life has changed, my kids went off to school, and the company has expanded, my work has shifted. As founder of Queen of To Do, I spend my days talking with busy, stressed, overwhelmed people who are running themselves ragged trying to do everything in this modern world. Everyone seems to be stretched thin and feeling like a failure if they aren’t keeping up with laundry, planning the best birthdays, maintaining their home perfectly, and looking flawless doing it. Each person I talk with has ways they are “falling short”. It’s not the big things that break most of us, it’s the weight of the mental load and the million tiny things that need to be done each day. By normalizing the experience, I find I can connect with most people easily–of COURSE you can’t do it all! No one can! I can’t! I don’t even try!
Not just knowing, but SEEING how much just a few hours a week, a few chores done, a few meals made, can impact a family gives me an incredible feeling of joy and gratitude that this is what I get to do with my life. I get to see busy moms go from defeated to vibrant. Their voices change and you can hear how much lighter they feel. I get to see couples who are both driven in their careers come home to a place where they can both relax and enjoy each other’s company instead of bickering about whose turn it is to do the dishes that night. I get to see businesses grow and our community thrive because people aren’t maxing out their bandwidth between work and second-shift work at home.
I oversee a team of the most incredible, generous, kind humans who provide the on-going support that people so desperately need in this post-pandemic world. Each with a different background, skill set, and talents, our team is filled with problem-solvers and magic makers. As we continue to grow in Austin and Dallas, I’m dipping my toes back into speaking and teaching, with a focus on self-care, delegation, and care-giving. I’ve authored a delegation journal that helps guide people through how to delegate effectively and track the impacts of delegation. I’ve also found time for new hobbies, such as quilting and making body butters.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Oooh, this is a challenging question. The first is a thirst for knowledge and skills. I’m constantly learning new things, trying new activities, and pushing what I believe I can do. I tend to be err on the side of “jump in and figure it out!”, so mistakes and adjustments are a huge part of my process as I approach any challenge. If I don’t know how to do something, I can utilize tech to find out where I need to start. Trying something and having it flop is an opportunity to explore different ways to accomplish the goal.
Second is fortitude–Being brave and a little unaware of the risks of any new venture is incredibly helpful. I can be a master overthinker, so I have be keep the urge to research in check. I’ve found that if I know too much, I’m more likely to talk myself out of taking risks, even small ones, that could pay off. I constantly vet opportunities not in terms of risk alone, but of the potential impact and ripples I will be able to create. Pushing past the doubts and status quo drives me forward to see what else is possible in my industry and community.
Lastly, trusting my intuition. My instincts are overwhelmingly right when I listen to them. Saying yes to opportunities isn’t enough–they need to align with my values, needs, and timing. If any of these aspects of an opportunity isn’t in place, I move on. This doesn’t make it a forever no, but a not yet. Intuition also helps me set and maintain boundaries in all areas of my life, personally and professionally.
With all of these, experience helps a lot. Being willing to try new things, admit to stumbles, and continuing forward despite them is critical in gaining the experience that will guide your path. Start small and practice! Try a new recipe, practice repairing thrift store items, watch Youtube videos to learn something new, ask friends for tools or supplies to try out a new hobby for minimal cost. Allow yourself to be terrible at new things the first time (or first twenty times!) and refine the skills you feel are worth developing.
So many times, we only want to talk publicly about our triumphs. Spending just as much time sharing our struggles and being our authentic, messy selves is where we can really connect with and learn from those around us.
Tell us what your ideal client would be like?
Our ideal clients are busy and overwhelmed professionals and business owners who have more money than time. We love working for people who understand the value of their time and are happy to buy back their evenings and weekends by hiring us to handle all of life’s hassles during the week.
We are experts at running a household efficiently, supporting neuro-divergent people, organizing, and problem-solving. Our ideal clients want to operate primarily within their own zone of genius, delegating any and all tasks and chores that fall into OUR zone of genius! We pride ourselves on being able to find solutions that work best for each client, empowering them to hand over their entire to do list with the assurance that we will handle it all without the need for strict oversight and micromanagement. We strive to bring ease and relaxation to each and every client we work with.
Contact Info:
- Website: http://www.queenoftodo.com
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/queenoftodo
- Facebook: https://facebook.com/queenoftodo
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/queen-of-to-do
- Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/queen-of-to-do-austin-2
Image Credits
Mary Arcuni
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