Meet Katharine Donovan Kane

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Katharine Donovan Kane. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Katharine below.

Katharine, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.

One thing I’ve learned is to step back and take a good look at who I am. I’ve spent time (and continue to do the inner work) to honestly assess which of my thoughts are truly my own and which were passed down to me consciously or unconsciously. When self-doubts and fears emerge, especially “I’m not good enough” or “What if they see I’m really a fraud and undeserving,” I wonder where those feelings actually coming from?

The Western philosophical underpinnings of our society are wholly based upon measured outcomes. Over the centuries we’ve been taught to quantify who we are in some way. Reality – in modern terms – demands adherence to truths formulated by someone else. We’ve inherited concepts and accepted that how much we’ve acquired is a measurement of our success. Many of us would agree, at least in part, that this makes logical sense. And that’s the point. Our thoughts about who we are and what we do is based largely on quantity, volume, and the axiom more-is-better. And out of this milieu the irksome existential feelings of unworthiness emerge.

I ask myself…is there another way to view who I am and the life I am meant to lead? What if there is something about me that I am missing because I am too busy pleasing someone else’s construct of what qualifies as a worthwhile, meaningful person?

The imposter syndrome has different disguises. It can make us doubt our competence in professional life and it can also impact our personal relationships. It has appeared in my life as the fear of being found out as an uninteresting, unintelligent, unqualified person. It was a lonely burden to carry.

For me, overcoming imposter syndrome has been a continual process. I realize that it’s “fake news” from my overly protective ego and a dysfunction of the system I grew up in. So, to reframe a life with competence, I regularly engage what self-acceptance feels like through practices such as meditation, poetry, dreamwork and photography.

Creative pursuits allow me to see what is trying to make itself known – outside the box of a perfectly measured life. I believe that on the other side of “I’m not good enough” and “I’m not worthy” is a person who has strength, magic, and is supported by an expanded inner and outer worldview. By opening up to all of my intuitive senses it’s possible for me to begin a dialog with the imposter-self – asking why you are here – to finally hear the whispers of the other stronger voice inside.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I love what I do. Through committed inner work, I found a common thread weaving its way through the years in my personal and professional life. I came to understand that I am a deep listener. This awareness revealed my truth – an invaluable jewel.

I like what I say on my website: As an Inner Wisdom Wayfinder and Dreamworker I help others reimagine an inspired, magical life. In my work I companion others who are at a juncture, a life transition, or a time of uncertainty. My intuitive spirit is embedded in my coaching style as I help others find their own guidance system.

As a nature-based, spiritual life coach I come with a gift: the power to look on the other side of things and to help others do the same. I draw my inspiration from the mystical traditions and my methodologies from recognized institutions. In my blog I write about abundance in nature and things hidden in plain sight. My expertise is dreamwork. Dreams are guideposts helping us discover inner yearnings, stumbling blocks, and desired purpose. What is stepping forward from the dreamscape may surprise you so working with a trained facilitator is helpful.

Dream Circles, dedicated small groups, are an intimate way to experience how life is unfolding. In my Dream Circles we meet online at regularly scheduled times. Participants reside in different time zones, so we gather remotely to form a circle of confidentiality, trust and safety. It can be life changing – certainly it is awe-inspiring – and brings meaningful synchronicities into focus. Working in a Dream Circle is not about analyzing each other’s dreams. Rather it is learning to listen, asking the dreamer clarifying questions, and then allowing the dream to resonate with your own experience. We strive to understand the dream’s language of metaphor and symbol and how this might inform current life.

New Dream Circles begin every Spring and Fall. I offer complimentary classes so you can experience for yourself what a Dream Circle is like. No experience is necessary. All are welcome. Visit my website for the latest offerings: www.kdkane.com/dreamwork

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

There are a few qualities that helped me in my journey so far. They are…following gut feelings, bringing an open mind, and learning to deep listen to my self as well as others.

Reading gut feelings can be tricky – surprisingly. We’ve been taught to suppress abdominal vibrations as a nervous stomach. In my professional and personal experience being nervous was something to hide. It meant I was afraid of something…giving a presentation, speaking with a donor or fearful for my job. Reactions to these types of situations were to be muffled. I assumed I must be unworthy if I’m nervous. I thought that by pushing the nerves away I’d be able to forge ahead and conquer was what being expected of me. When, in fact, gut feelings mean much more than the jitters. Over time I learned to trust my body and lean into its vibrational messages. I flipped gut feelings over and saw that they were actually guideposts giving me the opportunity to take back my power. They were helping me to reframe events as life giving versus life draining.

Bringing an open mind is easier said than done. I like to think that I’m open minded. But really. Am I? To be honest there is often a lot of mental chatter telling me how to think. If I’m lucky I’ll catch my mind in the act of overthinking as someone else is speaking. It takes effort to breathe in and release all the thoughts cluttering the mind. Only then am I really open to another’s perspective without an agenda. I can tell that I’m more in the open-minded perspective if curiosity and wonder are present.

Learning to truly listen and lessen the mental chatter means more than quietly waiting your turn to speak. When deep listening, we are openly attentive to the surrounding energy, to our body’s reactions, and to discovering. When I work with clients I don’t come to the session with a firm agenda. I open with a short ritual by lighting a candle. It signifies a special time that we both – not just me – will deep listen to what is emerging, what wants to be seen. We each take in a breath of life force energy and exhale anything that weighs heavily on our shoulders. I read a poem to help encourage a sense of the symbolic and imaginal. Doing a quick body scan welcomes body wisdom to have a voice in our conversation as well. Now, when words are spoken, we can more easily hear a kind of resonance and rhythm. When deep listening, sometimes goosebumps happen, or an image pops up. They are signs. Listening deeply is essentially the gift I offer.

My advice? We are complex beings. Having an emotional realization that we are fake, imposters, and unworthy is a positive first step. Yes, that’s right! Becoming aware is key. Now you recognize what’s keeping you stuck. There’s a “thing” that is presenting itself as the imposter syndrome. Don’t be afraid to see what’s there. Draw a picture and describe in detail what this imposter-self looks like. If you could give it a name what would it be? The so-called scary monster is no longer hidden. Bringing it forward allows you to interact. Again, it may be helpful to work with a coach or a therapist as you dialog in this way. Importantly though, you are able to ask it who it is, where it came from, and what is it trying to teach you. By welcoming it into dialog notice that “imposter” has another side. Ask the hidden side to come forward and be a part of the conversation. Notice that on the other side of unworthiness is the personal power that you always sensed was there. What would it feel like to own that power?

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?

Right now, I feel time is my primary challenge. Do you remember your parents – or yourself – saying that by the time you are (a certain age) you “should” know what you want to do in life, have saved enough money to buy a car or a house, or achieved accomplishments to show on your resume? Our lives have been regulated by measurements. We see that initially acquiring knowledge, money, and career positioning consumed our attention. It takes a while to realize that a scale-based life can bring abundance, but it also comes with the price of heaviness.

So, when I feel weighed down by a sense of “running out of time” I have implemented a practice of suspending time. Even if this is only done in short intentional moments during the day, in my meditative practice, or when I am lost in the imaginal realm of creativity. When suspending time, the question of how long no longer matters, does it? I lay the sand hourglass on its side and focus instead on the other dimensions of life that don’t care so much about quantity, who is first, or impressing someone else. Suddenly I can breathe more easily and there is a lighter outlook.

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Image Credits

Katharine Donovan Kane
Casey Gammon

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