Meet Kathryn O’Shea

We were lucky to catch up with Kathryn O’Shea recently and have shared our conversation below.

Kathryn, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
Well, I lost my dad to cancer over ten years ago now, and that loss has taught me so much about the nature of resilience. I’ve experienced plenty of loss in my life, from my dad to some of my best friends too, in their teenage years. And I felt such absolutely gut-wrenching. earth-shattering pain over those losses. Nothing else in the world mattered when those losses happened. And nothing in the world could make it better… except time. But then sure enough, time comes along and does its thing and builds up scar tissue over the wound and eventually the grieving becomes just a normal part of your day. An institution in your brain chemistry. It feels less like a flashing red sign and more like a post-it note. And I think that’s the moment when resilience begins to build. When a person feels the most unthinkably painful wound of their life start to heal in a way they never thought it could. But I also see resilience as a skillset because the traumas of my life have led me to seek lots of professional support, and I have learned so much from the years I’ve spent working with therapists and recovery specialists! I’ve learned how to notice and identify trauma responses as they’re happening, and I’ve learned the tools to gently remind myself that I’m safe so I can respond to those triggers in a more intentional way. A lot of studying and hard work has gone into developing my resilience, and I think I still have a long way to go. But once I began to learn the roadmap of how my brain chemistry worked, I felt like I’d found the key to a kind of autonomy and empowerment I’d never known before, so I dove in head first. And so far I really think that it’s true… if you’re willing to study it up close, to get honest about your behavioral patterns, to notice the feelings, and to sit with those feelings, resilience just becomes more and more instinctual over time.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
Sure!! I’m Kathryn O’Shea. I am a singer/songwriter and I’m fiercely dedicated to feeling my way through life and creating space for others to do the same. I write music to cry to, whether those are tears of heartbreak, grief, or exhilarating joy. I write what I need to hear, what I want to say, what I go through, and what I learn along the way. Also want to mention that I have a new single in the works called “So Far”!

“So Far” is an uplifting and autobiographical 6.5-minute journey through one of the most poignant and worthwhile learning experiences of my adult life: living alone for the first time. In terms of composition, it’s easily one of my favorite pieces yet, probably because it’s the first studio recording I’ve ever made with my live band (Patrick French, Matt Guard, Hinton Edgerton, and Michael Dunham) and their contributions brought so much richness and texture to the sound. But beyond that, the thing I’m most excited about by far is the music video. I always wanted to film a music video for the song inside of the apartment that inspired it, so when I relocated to Chicago a few months back, I knew the moment had arrived. I hired a film crew (Mad Deft Media) and a director (Ezra Mercy) and we hatched a plan to spend five days boxing up my life and using the apartment as a film set in between. As the shelves and walls emptied and the boxes piled higher, the apartment became the perfect halfway-lived-in space to recreate familiar scenes of when I first moved in to the space all those years ago. It was all so perfectly real that the process felt like more than creating a work of art, it became true catharsis. We were documenting an entire season of my life while the finale of that very season grew nearer ever day. The song’s refrain reminds the listener that “Each day is a new beginning,” and by the end of this shoot, I couldn’t help but to truly believe it.

Release date is TBD but be sure to follow @kathrynoshea for updates. I’ve never been more proud of anything in my life.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Compassion, curiosity, and courage are the first qualities that come to mind. I believe compassion empowers a person to forge meaningful relationships with other human beings along their journey. Not only that, compassion also allows us to deepen the relationship we have with ourself. Compassion gives us permission to forgive our younger selves for what we did not yet know, and to move on with the understanding that as long as we are above ground, we have a chance to learn and grow and try again. Curiosity is the road we take to get to compassion. Curiosity is what steers us gently away from judgement. Curiosity reminds us that we learn more in this life by asking questions than we do by assuming that our perspective is synonymous with objective truth. Curiosity brings expansiveness to the otherwise tight corners of life. And courage is the wind in our sails. Courage is the quality we hold in our back pocket for all the moments the world tries to teach us that compassion is naive and curiosity is embarrassing. Courage is the machete we bring along to forge our own trail when we realize along the way that no one has walked that trail before. Courage is the lamplight at nightfall and the sunrise at dawn. And as far as developing these qualities… well, I think it boils down to intention. If it is your intention to carry these qualities with you, the world will always find a way to teach you how to do so. It may be trial by fire, but life will always show you every wisdom you are ready to know. You just have to listen.

As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
When the pandemic hit a few years ago, I started a Patreon like many other musicians did when all of our live gigs disappeared into thin air. While I was preparing to launch the crowdfunding site, I told a friend of mine that I was having trouble wrapping my mind around being “deserving” of people’s monetary donations on a monthly basis. She recommended a book to me that has now been continually monumental in shaping my feelings around collaboration and community within the creative worlds. That book is Amanda Palmer’s “The Art of Asking.” In this book, Amanda Palmer describes how she went from being a professional busker to being the “queen of crowdfunding” and traveling the world as a touring musician through heavily utilizing her network of artists and fans. She shows the reader how to let go of the fear of asking others for “too much” by illustrating how there is actually a very exciting and fulfilling element of collaboration in a fan being able to support an artist they love. Whether it’s through monetary contribution, offering housing, or free creative labor on a project they’re excited about, there are so many people in the world who genuinely want to put their resources forward to see artists and creators they love be able to thrive and grow. Amanda Palmer talks a lot in the book about how crowdfunding is really about being in relationship with your fans and supporters, and treating them like friends. Letting them into your life and your journey on a level that is personal enough to relate to, so that they can feel like they are really a part of the world they’re building with you. I think when an artist is willing to open up like that, and the fans are willing to contribute, there’s no limit to what that network of supporters can create together. But it all hinges on the artist continuing to master the art of asking.

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Joanna Guy, Camilla Calnan, Elliot Schwartz, Anna Caterina, Jessica Langevin Clark, Mad Deft Media, Eric Proffit

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