Meet Katie Lee

We were lucky to catch up with Katie Lee recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Katie , we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?

Confidence is created. It is not something that someone is born with or magically possesses. This is the best news ever because it means that anyone can become confident, regardless of what they have experienced or where they currently find themselves in life. This was my story. I found myself smack dab in the middle of a sudden divorce from a marriage that I fought for fifteen years to save.

While I had thought I was confident, I discovered that my confidence and self-esteem had plummeted and this downward spiral began to affect every aspect of my life: physically, emotionally, mentally, financially and spiritually. Divorce is not a season where you want your confidence and self-esteem to diminish, but where it serves you to show up confidently so you can prepare for the next chapter of your life.

About six months into my divorce process, I made a powerful decision that I was going to become the most confident version of myself that I had ever been. The Latin root word for the word confidence is confidere, which means “to put trust in”. I discovered that the source of my problem was also my clear solution. My confidence had plummeted not because of what my soon to be ex husband did or did not to me, but because I had lost trust in myself and my ability to follow through with me. Once I made this mindset shift, my life began to change very quickly. Here is what that process looked like:

Physically, I began to create rhythm and routines of walking and weight lifting that I treated as non-negotiables on my calendar. At a time where my life felt very out of control, this was something I could directly control and this source of follow through and strength created so much confidence. I gave myself the ultimate glow up, lost 35 lbs, and became fully regulated in my body and nervous system.

Emotionally, I began to allow myself to feel all of the emotions that I had previously suppressed or ignored during my marriage. By being honest with myself and being willing to feel any and all emotion without shame or judgment, I created safety and security in my relationship with myself that became the foundation of the rebuilding of my confidence and self-esteem.

Mentally, I put an end to the spirals of rumination, being stuck in indecision and second guessing myself, which were all hallmarks of lack of confidence and low self-esteem. Instead, I allowed myself to step into powerful, life-giving thoughts that served me by focusing on my future and the best days being ahead of me, not behind me.

Financially, I allowed myself to pivot, began a whole new career that I now describe as my calling, and stepped confidently into what has now become my life purpose. I went through this process by saying yes to new opportunities, honoring my wants and desires, and being willing to fail along the way. My confidence and self-esteem is now unshakeable because of these transformations.

Spiritually, I went through a process of surrender and trust that my past was all working for me: the good, the bad and the ugly. I chose to forgive those who wronged me and also forgave myself. I renewed my faith and leaned into believing hard in feeding all of my possibilities and consciously starving all of my limitations.

Here is a powerful question: how would you rate your own confidence and self-esteem? Is it off the charts? Good. Keep believing what you’re believing and doing what you’re doing. Does it need some improvement? There is nothing wrong with you. This is an opportunity to step into self-awareness and bridge the gap between where you are and where you desire to be. Is your confidence and self-esteem pretty much non-existent? This is what I want to offer you: You can only grow from here. Borrow my categories and decide right now that you are going to pick one thing from each of those categories to begin to believe in yourself, start trusting yourself again and follow through with you.

Remember, confidence doesn’t come from anyone or anything outside of you. Your confidence and self-esteem is not dependent on your life circumstances. This is the best news ever! Confidence is an internal game. Confidence is created from you trusting yourself, keeping your word to yourself, and following through with you. Now go create some confidence and self-esteem. You got this!

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I help driven, high-achieving Christian women create their comeback during & after divorce. After finding myself in a sudden, unwanted divorce that I prayed and tried to save for fifteen years, I went through a journey of self-discovery and an inside out transformation that was life-changing.

Very early into my divorce process, I joined different online groups looking for connection, comfort and relatability. I was shocked when I read women’s stories of being in their divorce journeys and still finding themselves stuck, 3, 5, 7, or even 10 years post-divorce.

I made the powerful decision at that moment that I would do whatever it took to fast-track my healing process. I was not going to remain stuck. I felt like I had already wasted so much time and I had no more time to waste.

I partnered with God, hired myself a Life Coach, and transformed my life from the inside out to become the best version of myself, even while going through my divorce. I gave myself a glow-up for life in every area: physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually.

Now, my life’s mission is to coach women who are going through divorce and in their post-divorce journeys to help them fast-track their healing, create their comeback and become the best version of themselves, wherever they find themselves in their divorce process.

A common saying is that healing is not linear. While everyone’s healing journey is personal to them, there are definite approaches, tools and ideas that are fresh, new and effective that I teach my clients to fast-track their healing journey and confidently go through the process of moving forward, attracting healthy love, and becoming the best version of themselves.

I help my clients first, identify and then, give themselves what they want most in this new life transition. I ultimately help them believe that their best days are ahead of them, not behind them, despite going through a divorce that they never desired, wanted or anticipated.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

The three qualities that most impacted my journey to help me become the best version of myself after the worst heartbreak of my life are: self-awareness, belief, and confidence.

Self-awareness is the first step in the process of changing. Without it, it is impossible to go from who and where you are to who and where you desire to be. Self-awareness is the ability to identify the areas of your life that are working for you, as well as the areas of your life that are no longer working for you. Self-awareness allows you to own what is yours to own and release the things that you never had control over. It gives you the authority to begin the transformation process and is the foundational step in creating a life that you love to live.

Belief is trust or faith in someone or something. Belief is the ability to put your trust in who or what you don’t see. Belief is one of the most, if not the most, powerful emotions you can generate because it has the power to make or break you. You are always believing in something. You are either believing in yourself or you are believing against yourself. Your beliefs will always show themselves in two areas: how you feel and what you do.

Confidence is created by following through with you. It has nothing to do with external people or circumstances. Through conditioning, we have been taught that other people or factors outside of ourselves control or determine our confidence. However, confidence is a feeling that is created through repeated trust and follow through with oneself. Once this shift is made, confidence is something that can be replicated and regenerated without fail every time.

If you find yourself early on in your divorce journey or even stuck or stagnant in your post-divorce life, these are the 3 qualities that you can focus on developing.

When it comes to self-awareness, evaluate the major areas of your life (physical, emotional, mental, relational, financial and spiritual). What areas of your life are you proud of? What areas of your life do you want to improve? What will you begin to do differently? From this new found self-awareness, generate a list of one thing per category that you will focus on. You will have a practical place to start that isn’t overwhelming or out of alignment with who you want to become.

As for belief, this is everything. The beautiful thing about beliefs is that you can change them anytime. Just because you have beliefs, it doesn’t mean that you need to keep them. The brain is neuroplastic, which means that you can change your beliefs, with practice and time. Examine what are the beliefs you currently have about yourself. Once you take an honest look at these beliefs, you get to decide if they are helping you or harming you. From this place, create three new beliefs that you want to believe about yourself and practice them all the time.

Lastly, confidence is something you want to create no matter where you are during the divorce journey. Work on keeping small promises to yourself and protecting these commitments like they a are non-negotiable date with your favorite celebrity. Your word to you should be as good as gold. If you find yourself making and breaking commitments to yourself, this will diminish your confidence and this is where you want to place your focus and energy. Increasing your confidence in yourself will help you have your own back, make powerful decisions, and be prepared to take on new opportunities and challenges as they come your way.

Who is your ideal client or what sort of characteristics would make someone an ideal client for you?

My ideal client is a driven, high-achieving Christian woman who is either going through a divorce or in her post-divorce journey and wants to create her comeback, which looks like moving forward, refusing to stay stuck, desiring to attract healthy love, and becoming the best version of herself in every area of her life.

She wants to work on herself, may have tried therapy in the past, but finds that it is no longer working for her and desires to give herself what she wants most through coaching.

She wants to stop wasting any more time, is willing to do the work now, and understands that the investment she makes in her physical, emotional, mental, financial and spiritual health will lead to massive returns for her, her children and her future.

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