We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kelly Abanda a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Kelly, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
I used to think I’d gain confidence by overachieving and being well-liked, but a full social calendar and professional success didn’t cut it. My inner critic was never satisfied even when I had external adventures like traveling the world solo or earning a Master’s degree. That nagging voice always said it wasn’t enough…ultimately, that I wasn’t enough.
In theory, I knew confidence had to come from within, but all the mantras and positive affirmations I tried only worked for a short time. It seemed like my brain was working against me, and taking my self-confidence with it. In 2023, I found a neuroscience-based practice that radically changed my inner chatter, moving the messages from self-sabotaging to self-supporting. After just a few weeks of this new practice, my inner confidence was, for once, not attached to any outward accomplishment. It’s now a grounded belief in myself that can’t be shaken and is what I’d been seeking all along. We each have the power to rewrite the script of inner chatter, and I wish I’d had these tools sooner!
Confidence, at least the kind I want to maintain, is an “inside job” and the road to get there requires vulnerability, hope, and a willingness to release old thought patterns.
I’m now on a mission to share these tools so I can help high-achieving professionals silence their inner critics for good, and I’m aiming to help 1,500 in the next three years so wish me luck!
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
Thanks for asking! I’m a voraciously curious human, and it’s led me to ditch the security of corporate life more than once. I love sharing one of my biggest adventures- I left a cushy corporate role to travel the world solo for four years! I visited 20+ countries–most of which I knew nothing about before spontaneously deciding to visit. From being stranded at sea in Fiji to receiving a private tour of Nelson Mandela’s final prison home, my adventures were nothing short of extraordinary. I learned the true meaning of making the most of this life.
As incredible as that trip was, my true passion lies in what I do now. Did you know that a mere 20% of people claim to be both happy and successful in life? It’s a startling statistic! That means the vast majority of us are caught in the web of unhappiness and unfulfillment. Maybe we are happy but feel unsuccessful, or incredibly successful but not enjoying the life we created. I’m on a mission to change that narrative, to shift the balance to 80% of individuals finding happiness AND success.
Left unchecked, our minds naturally default to negative motivators—stress, comparison, perfectionism, overthinking, and fear. The alternative is to train the brain to default to positive motivators like creativity, curiosity, empathy, and inspiration.
We love that idea. How do you help people shift their minds from negative to positive?
I have a powerful secret weapon!! Well, not so secret because it’s been embraced by elite athletes and teams at giants like Turo, Pinterest & Google…but it is incredibly powerful. Positive Intelligence (PQ)™, is a game-changer that empowers you to forge a new neural pathway, transforming your default from negative Saboteur to positive Sage. As a PQ™ coach, my purpose is clear: to help individuals and teams silence the mental chatter that limits peak performance and prevents lasting happiness.
How do we make this shift? It’s a three-step process:
Learn all the ways your Saboteurs have been operating
Proactively build Sage muscles through intentional short actions
Use Sage curiosity to shift into a positive, supportive headspace
My Mental Fitness Bootcamp uses a fun interactive app to guide you step-by-step through this process. With just 15 minutes of practice per day, outcomes have been nothing short of phenomenal! People have reclaimed their time, conquered overthinking, taken courageous steps, and enriched their relationships. Imagine the possibilities that could unfold in your life with these newfound gifts.
Now, envision a world where 80% of us are less stressed, more serene, and fully present, unburdened by nagging thoughts and distractions. It happens one person, one team at a time–so why not start with YOU?
Want to dive deeper into this transformative journey? Reach out to me on iG @kellyabanda or email [email protected], and I’ll personally connect you with an online Saboteur assessment. Plus, there’s an opportunity to snag a free mini-coaching session with me to explore your results and discover how PQ™ can light up your path, just as it has for countless individuals worldwide. Let’s embark on this incredible journey together and have some fun along the way!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
I love this question! For me, curiosity, resilience, and openness have had a consistent impact on my journey. Curiosity is my favorite because it reminds me that even when I have a “setback,” with the right questions, a bit of vulnerability, and a judgment-free mind, I can always learn something that will make my future better.
If you’re feeling discouraged about the pace of your journey, wishing it was going faster, had fewer errors, and/or came easier to you….then I hope you’ll hear this: Keep going, friend. You will never regret taking the next step, but you may regret giving up. Trust yourself to navigate this season, and as quickly as possible, find the gift in every hardship. You are enough, you have enough, and you will make it to your goal if you keep curiosity as a constant companion!
How would you describe your ideal client?
I love working with highly motivated women who have found professional success, but consistently find their inner voice is dialed into critic mode- they never feel good enough, and deep down they’re unsatisfied with life, even though they’ve reached their professional or money goals. I’ve been in those shoes, and the combination of my formal training in Neuroscience Coaching & PQ plus lived experience makes me the perfect person to help them create more supportive thoughts and actions. I’m here to help them live in total freedom!
Contact Info:
- Website: www.designyourdetour.com
- Instagram: instagram.com/kellyabanda
- Facebook: facebook.com/kellyabanda
- Linkedin: linkedin.com/kellyabanda
