Meet Kelso Ayala

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kelso Ayala a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Kelso, we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hops that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.

Since birth I always knew I was different from other kids. I learned different, I saw things differently, and I felt things differently. Coming from a single mom Hispanic home, my mental health wasn’t always taken seriously the way it is today. Growing up, I was constantly bullied for my appearance, how I spoke, and my sexuality. Even though I had a great deal of friends, I never truly felt seen or often felt lonely. I always felt like I had to pretend to be someone else, because no one would like the real me. As I grew older, this became a bigger issue. I became more insecure, struggled building healthy relationships, and didn’t have a strong sense of self. During senior year of high school, I was at my peak or what I thought was my peak. I had a boyfriend, good grades, people knew who I was. I still felt like I was hiding who I was or putting on this mask in order to feel seen and heard or fill the void of someone who never knew their dad. Fast forward to 2021, I unfortunately went through something that no 23-year-old should have to go through; an unfortunate heartbreak leading to betrayal, homelessness, financial struggle, and the absence of friends and family close enough for support. I was possibly the most suicidal I’ve ever been, and it took a lot for me to wake up every day and hope that I’d have the strength to keep going. After 3 long years, I came back home to Charlotte, NC and discovered a program called Year Up. This program helped me develop skills I didn’t think I was capable of and led me to my current full-time position at Bank of America. I was able to start taking better care of my mental health leading to my diagnosis of ADHD at the age of 26 years old and finally building the financial freedom I have always dreamed of. Despite all of the challenges I have faced, I persevered because of my family, my friends I made along the way, and myself. I gained a great deal of love and self-respect for myself and that has allowed me to slow down and take the time I need to deal with my mental health. There are still always ups and downs, but I always look back at how far I’ve come, from all the pain and tears I’ve shed to being the adult I’ve always wanted to be. I always ask myself, if I could do things differently would I? Probably, but regardless I would have still been successful, and it would’ve all led me to my final destination. Infinite love for myself and finally letting my true self be free regardless of judgement. I can use what I’ve learned to help others who are overcoming hardships and spread the empathy I carry to help my community. That is the best medicine for mental health.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been in love with art. Whether it was drawing, painting, or just watching a cartoon I loved every second. It wasn’t until high school when I took up photography and I realized that it was what I wanted to do forever. After high school, I ended up getting my associate’s degree in photography and from there tried launching myself out there. I was able to get clients here and there, but with such wide variety of photographers it wasn’t always easy to stand out. I take breaks here and there, because after a while lack of clients becomes discouraging and I wasn’t given the resources to figure this out on my own. I began looking for other possible careers that I would be interested in, and it wasn’t until this year that I decided to go into Sustainable Technology. I have always found an interest in the environment and helping the community by increasing social equity. I hope to eventually own my own non-profit that will allow homeless individuals to work on land and live there for free. I want to create a sustainable farm, community, and event space for weddings. I want to bring all of my passions into one area and create a space where people can truly live. Currently, I’m focused on getting my name out there through volunteer work and getting my degree.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Three qualities or skills that impacted my journey most was my empathy, artistic ability, and willingness to help others. Without any of these qualities, I don’t think I would be the person I am today. My advice for anyone wanting to work on these abilities is to go out and volunteer. Try to see someone else’s life in a different perspective. It is truly humbling and allows you to have much empathy for the people around you. You begin to understand that everyone has a story and it’s easy to get lost in all of what the world has to offer with so many distractions. As for artistic ability, I always tell people everyone can be an artist, but how much are you willing to practice? If you give up on the first stick figure you create, you’ll never realize the Mona Lisa you’re capable of creating.

Alright, so before we go we want to ask you to take a moment to reflect and share what you think you would do if you somehow knew you only had a decade of life left?

I’m currently facing a bit of financial difficulties due to the amount of debt that has piled onto me over the last 3 years. The new job has helped tremendously, but there is still a lot of work that needs to be done in order to get me back on track. I’ve managed to create a budget for myself and started meal prepping in order to save on eating out. A lot of sacrifices are being made, but it’s worth it to get to where I want to be financially again.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://KelsoMariClicks.mypixieset.com/
• Instagram: @KelsoMariClicks
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelsiekelsoayala/