We were lucky to catch up with Kenya N Rahmaan recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Kenya, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
Developing confidence and self-esteem was extremely difficult for me. I didn’t have a problem standing up for myself when I felt bullied or taken advantage of, but when it came to public speaking, I would freeze. As an advocate for child support reform, lacking self-confidence hindered me because I would turn down invitations for interviews to discuss my book and mission.
Two people helped me overcome my shyness, build my confidence, and improve my self-esteem. My son is an artist, and he goes by Ill-Lit. He released a song around the same time that I was going to join my radio show for my first interview. I was so shy I asked other people to conduct interviews for me. There was a verse that was so fire and motivating. I used to listen to it all the time because it got me hyped up.
Right before the interview, I listened to that verse back to back and rapped it LOUD! I was so pumped that I was confident and couldn’t wait to do the interview. The first line is, ‘My time now, my time been here for a minute.’ It’s been on ever since.
My second inspiration came from a good friend I met through an actor friend. I remember talking, and she asked why I didn’t do interviews. I told her I was too shy. Being a motivating and very supportive woman, she said quite frankly, “You can’t be a shy advocate, Baby.” It was on for a second time. My confidence and self-esteem have never regressed.
Thank you, Ms. Chaye and Ill-Lit!!!
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I started my journey as a writer by accident. I wanted to bring awareness to the child support system and how it negatively affected low-income families who received welfare, so I wrote a book entitled The Child Support Hustle. I advocated for child support reform for the next decade, including assisting parents with their cases and lobbying for a bill I wrote at the Texas State Capital to re-abolish debtor prisons. I recently retired from advocating and turned my energy to writing my second book and selling apparel online.
Like my first book, I focused this project on social justice issues. I regularly publish content on my social media platforms about child support, shared parenting, and other relatable topics. I focus on bringing researched and not propagandized information to younger generations.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Three qualities, skills, and areas of knowledge that have been most impactful in my journey are my sense of commitment. The purpose of commitment allowed me to earn three degrees, including an MBA, which has benefitted my research skills. Researching is vital in investigating information when trying to reform laws and investigating a book or an article.
The next quality that I believe has been impactful in my personal and professional journal is always being respectful to others. I always treat others how I want to be treated. But as I’ve gotten older, I added another piece to that motto. Now, I treat other I want to be treated and how I would want people to treat my children if they were interacting with them for any reason. With that in mind, you get what you give.
My final area of the three qualities that have been impactful in my journey is developing patience. I have always been impatient, which irritated me when things did not happen fast enough. Irritation causes stress, and stress causes all kinds of problems. After I had traveled to Jamaica, I learned how to slow down and appreciate not moving fast all of the time. Meditation and yoga are fantastic when trying to build patience, and it’s great to relieve stress.
Here are a few words of advice for anyone early in their journey.
You are worth it.
Believe in yourself.
Fight for your rights.
Life is short. Slow down and enjoy it sometime.
To close, maybe we can chat about your parents and what they did that was particularly impactful for you?
The most impactful thing my parents did for me was prepare me for the reality of racism. That may sound offputting to some. However, knowing how harshly people will treat you based on your skin color is a lesson that parents often teach their children at an early age. By instilling this information, children are less likely to be shocked, disappointed, afraid, and overly angry when, not if, the inevitably discriminatory event occurs.
Whether being called the “n” word, asked why your skin/hair is “like that,” followed in a store while shopping, denied opportunities repeatedly, etc., elders should prepare every child to respond accordingly. Although the repetitious discriminatory treatment makes you more prepared, you never become comfortable or accustomed to being waited on last in a restaurant.
I genuinely appreciate and still thank my parents for making me aware of what I would face as a Black woman in America.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.thechildsupporthustle.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mzrockmon/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MzRockmon/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/MzRockMon
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheChildSupportHustle
