We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kevin Krieger a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Kevin, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.
I didn’t! Instead, I’m learning to embrace being an imposter, because WE ARE ALL IMPOSTERS. We are all walking around knowing we will one day die and be forgotten. We are all going to work knowing that in all the years of human life, we’ve learned so much and built so much, and consumed so much but we’re no closer to any semblance of an answer. And you’re reading this right now, knowing damn well that ALIENS exist and the government has probably been lying about it all these years. Life is absolutely 100% absurd. Of course, I’m an imposter. You are too. How could we not be? If you choose to BE an imposter, instead of feeling like one you can start to play any part you like in this life. I mean I think…I’ve been too busy trying to be critical and financial success to try it.
When I first moved to Los Angeles, I was working in mailrooms and doing improv comedy because that is what the industry told me to do. I did both of those things for way too long and got clinically depressed en route (No knock on improv, it’s fun as hell but I’m really just not built for it like the greats that taught me). In both cases, I was waiting for the world to give me some tangible success for my time served as a suffering artist (I used to make spaghetti in the microwave). Then I stumbled upon John Gilkey’s Idiot Workshop. It was so unbelievably weird. There was this guy with a gigantic beard and claim to Cirque du Soleil fame throwing his shoe at us and prompting us with “exercises” that made no sense. It was chaos, but what was coming out of the performers was surreal. I fell in love with the work we were making and how we were making it, not its commercial viability. I was chasing my dreams by following my heart instead of my head.
I didn’t know it at the time, but while I was learning to be a clown onstage, I was also learning to become a clown in my life, or rather accepting that I was one all along. The clown is a hopeful and confident imposter, trying to prove to everyone that they are capable of entertaining an audience despite the fact that they don’t have the requisite skills to entertain. They fall flat on their face and return to the task more determined and hopeful than before the fall. Everyone laughs because they see themselves in the clown. They too are an imposter, trying to fit in, desperately seeking acceptance and love.
The clown survives failure by being vulnerable. They let themselves be seen, and in return get everything they always wanted. I could have never made scary decisions like becoming an entrepreneur, despite its financial instability, or becoming a performer, despite my lack of talent, without learning the power of vulnerability (I’m coming for you, Brene Brown). I definitely wouldn’t have been able to score my smoking hot wife or my gorgeous 10lb terrier mix or had the guts to become a parent. That’s for sure.
So, I say if Imposter Syndrome has got you down, maybe it’s time to take off the mask and show them who you are–a whole, complicated person at the hands of life’s endless sufferings. What a relief that would be if we all did that for each other.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I moved to Los Angeles from Cincinnati, OH in 2009 after going to college for 5 years to get a 4-year education at Ohio State University. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, so I told people I wanted to work in advertising. I took my B.S. in Business out into the Great 2008 Depression and spent a year and a half serving at Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen and living at home to save money for my great escape. The decision to chase my secret, near-subconscious dream of being the next Jim Carey was easier to make than I anticipated. There weren’t any opportunity costs to stand in my way, only my parents. Easy. I told them I wanted to work in the entertainment business. That would buy me enough time to get honest with myself before I had to be honest with them.
I pretended to be a writer, so I wouldn’t have to perform and worked in the mailroom at Sony Pictures in hopes of getting on a desk. I was looking for someone to tell me I belonged. It never happened. I started doing improv, and met what seemed to be the greatest community of people ever assembled. It was like they put all the spazzes from all the schools into one small corner of the world where they could all be together, free from societal oppression. That’s when I realized what I always knew: I was meant for the stage! I had never done theater. The last time I had been onstage was at the 6th Grade talent show playing bass guitar alone because the band broke up before the big gig. But, I was performing. I was always plotting my next big laugh. I was trying to keep the world smiling because it all seemed so sad to me, even at an early age I found life very painful. Laughing got me closer to God than the Catholic Faith ever could. Nothing else in the world made sense to me. I had to try to be a comedian despite my lack of talent, experience, or access to industry-specific nepotism.
Not long after that, I found the Idiot Workshop, John Gilkey opened me up to the world of clown and its history. Clown didn’t just become part of me as a performer, it also gave me something to believe in. It wasn’t JUST for laughs. It was a sacrificial act to offer yourself up to be humiliated FOR the audience. It was an honor to have anyone watching at all, and the goal was always to bring us closer together. To acknowledge our absurd humanity and cut each other a little slack. We are all one after all. Basically, I had a boner for The Idiot Workshop. Before I knew it I was performing with the funniest people alive in The Murge ( “LA’s craziest improv show” LA WEEKLY), while simultaneously finding my voice as a solo performer, and I wasn’t a student anymore, I was a teacher. I had reached enlightenment as an Idiot. I’d pick that life over all the other things I thought I wanted to be. I get to help people on their journey to finding their voice. I get to watch them remember who they are, the person they were before society’s rules and expectations imposed their will.
I’m still teaching with The Idiot Workshop, but I’ve also started directing shows. Post-pandemic I opened Public Displays of Altadena (PDA) with my BFF Claire Woolner. It was supposed to be a rehearsal space with a show here or there, but our community turned it into a full-scale 40-seat strip mall theater in the blink of an eye. It’s tiny. It’s nothing. It’s everything I always wanted. Claire was working on her solo show A Retrospection in the space and she offered me the opportunity to direct. That show went on to win Top of Fringe at The Hollywood Fringe Festival and is now doing a month-long run at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. All the while, I’ve been publicly working towards my goal of becoming the greatest improviser to ever walk the earth. I’m not doing improv comedy. There is no form and no fourth wall. It’s just me desperately trying to please the audience for one hour. I will do anything for you, except my material. Look out for the next PLZ Don’t Come on Instagram by following me and PDA (@krieger38 @pda_space) or by visiting our website, publicdisplaysofaltadena.com. If you can’t wait to see me come check out my monthly show (The PDA Show) on 2nd Saturdays at 7 pm where I host some of my favorite alt-comedians and clowns and do an abbreviated improvisation to close the show. Both PLZ Don’t Come and The PDA Show are available to stream for free on twitch (username: pda_space).
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1. Vulnerability is strength. We’re always hiding behind false strength to protect our ego, but it comes with a cost to the real you. Being strong in the way it’s understood in American culture means being defensive, controlling, and infallible. If you really want to be a good leader, good lover, and all-around good human you need to take off that armor. You need to start taking criticism, letting go of control, empowering your collaborators, and learning how to fail with grace and honesty.
2. What’s the worst that could happen? Shout out to my therapist for this one. I’ve got the mind of a bird, which the DSM calls ADHD, and when I start spinning out it’s almost impossible to find my bearings. My dopamine-seeking brain is always looking to take a banal situation and turn it into a life-or-death scenario. My brain finds this to be much more fun than executive functioning. When I feel anxious about something, I take the time to consider “What’s the worst that could happen?” In the case of performance, I used to think if I went up there and bombed, people would remember it forever and any chance of achieving my dream would be dead for good. When I started taking the time to really think about it, and put myself in the place of an audience member, I realized that the worst that could happen is they wouldn’t remember it at all. That was so freeing for me, and people respond to freedom onstage. Fear is a really wiley brain function, it was built to protect us from predators, but it hasn’t gotten the news that we are at the top of the food chain now
3. All of life is suffering. Buddha himself gets credit for this nugget. Anything that exists in time will one day be gone. Nothing lasts forever. If you can wrap your head around this concept, then you can finally let go of the idea that if you get this or get that your problems will be solved. You will just open yourself up to a host of new problems, attachments, and desires. If you want to find peace you’ve got to learn to let go of what you want and start enjoying what you have at this moment. Buddha must be rolling over in his grave right now listening to me pretending to be enlightened.
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
Yes! I’m always looking to work with new performers at the Idiot Workshop. You can check out our classes at https://www.theidiotworkshop.com/. At Public Displays of Altadena, we are in need of new and exciting show concepts, events, screenings and workshops to fill out our calendar. If you’ve got an idea or community that needs a home we’d love to have you. For more information on Public Displays of Altadena check out our website: https://publicdisplaysofaltadena.com/ and follow us on IG: @pda_space. If you want to chat with us, shoot an email to [email protected]. Also, I am looking for a 1-2 person house band for my monthly, live-streamed variety show The PDA Show. If this is up your alley, find me on IG and send me a message (@krieger38).
Contact Info:
- Website: https://publicdisplaysofaltadena.com/ https://theidiotworkshop.com
- Instagram: @krieger38 @pda_space
- Other: Twitch: pda_space
Image Credits
Photographer: Maxton Sharif IG: @maxtonsharif
