Meet Kia Lee

We were lucky to catch up with Kia Lee recently and have shared our conversation below.

Kia, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?

My resilience comes from a combination of personal experiences, a strong mindset, and a deep desire to transform adversity into something positive. Having faced significant challenges, including a violent relationship ending in domestic violence and a subsequent diagnosis of stage three breast cancer, I found strength in my ability to alchemize pain into purpose. Writing my book, “Lighthouse: Surviving Narcissistic Abuse,” was a cathartic process that allowed me to process my trauma and share my journey with others.

The mindset that carried me through these difficult times is centered on self-ownership and an unwavering belief in my ability to overcome. This perspective not only helped me navigate chemotherapy and a unilateral mastectomy but also inspired me to work on my second book, which delves deeper into the mental fortitude that helped me survive and thrive.

Additionally, my resilience is fueled by gratitude and a focus on healing, both physically and emotionally. This combination of factors—embracing my experiences, maintaining a positive mindset, and continuously striving for growth—has been the cornerstone of my resilience. The only way is through.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I am an author and coach dedicated to helping individuals navigate and heal from toxic relationships and challenging life experiences. My first book, “Lighthouse: Surviving Narcissistic Abuse,” is a testament to my journey through and beyond the hardships of domestic violence. It offers practical insights and emotional support for those dealing with similar situations. My intention is to lead others back to the light that resides within.

What excites me most about my work is the ability to alchemize my personal trials into a source of strength and guidance for others. Writing my book was a profoundly healing experience, allowing me to process my trauma and share my story to inspire and support others. The special part of my work is seeing how my experiences and insights can make a tangible difference in someone else’s life.

In addition to my writing, I offer coaching services through my website, www.Kia-Lee.com. I help individuals navigate toxic relationships and support them through hard times, providing the guidance and encouragement needed to reclaim their lives. Everyone needs support sometimes, and I am passionate about being that beacon of light for others, helping them find their way to a healthier, more fulfilling life.

My second book, which I am currently working on, explores my journey through cancer and the unexpected gifts I discovered through my survival. It’s incredibly rewarding to see how sharing my journey can empower others to embrace their strength and resilience. I prayed to understand the purpose of my path, and it has become clear that being a light is why I am here.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Looking back, the three qualities that were most impactful for me on my journey were understanding and cultivating integrity, embracing personal accountability, and consistently seeking the light in every situation.

Integrity is the cornerstone of everything. Without it, nothing works and nothing matters. Integrity means aligning your actions with your values and principles, even when it’s difficult. It involves honesty, reliability, and a strong moral compass. Cultivating integrity helped me build a solid foundation for my life and navigate challenges with clarity and purpose.

The second crucial quality is personal accountability. When you are able to own your life and decisions, you are truly free and able to continue learning and growing. Personal accountability means taking responsibility for your actions, choices, and their consequences. It empowers you to move beyond victimhood and reclaim control over your life. When you are a slave to your conditioning or programming, you remain bound to the influences that shaped you. Embracing accountability breaks these chains and allows you to reshape your destiny.

Lastly, finding and holding onto the light has been essential. Reframing and seeing the light in everything, even in the darkest of times, provides hope and strength. The ability to find light in adversity enables you to carry on when things seem bleak. Trusting the process and believing that there is always a glimmer of light, no matter how faint, can make a significant difference in your resilience and outlook on life.

For those early in their journey, here’s how you can develop and improve these qualities:

Cultivating Integrity:

Self-Reflection: Regularly assess whether your actions align with your values. Identify areas where you can improve and make conscious efforts to act with integrity.

Consistency: Practice honesty and reliability in all your dealings, no matter how small. Over time, these small acts build a reputation of integrity.

Role Models: Surround yourself with people who exemplify integrity. Learn from their behaviors and let their standards inspire you.

Embracing Personal Accountability:

Self-Awareness: Understand your patterns of behavior and recognize when you might be deflecting responsibility. Acknowledge your mistakes without self-judgment.

Ownership: Make a habit of owning your decisions and their outcomes. Instead of blaming external factors, look for ways you can take charge and make improvements.

Growth Mindset: View challenges and failures as opportunities for learning and growth. This perspective shifts your focus from blame to proactive change.

Seeking the Light:

Positive Reframing: Practice seeing the positive side of situations. This doesn’t mean ignoring the negatives but finding something good in every experience.

Gratitude: Maintain a gratitude journal to remind yourself of the positive aspects of your life. This practice can help shift your focus to the light.

Trust the Process: Have faith that difficult times are part of a larger journey. Trusting the process helps you stay resilient and hopeful, even when the path is unclear.

Always remember that developing these qualities is a continuous process. Stay committed to your growth, and over time, you’ll find that these qualities become integral parts of who you are, guiding you through every challenge you face.

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?

The most impactful thing my mother did for me was allow me the space to explore life and be myself. This freedom gave me the opportunity to experience multiple careers, each of which provided an education that traditional schooling could not. Her approach enabled me to discover my passions, strengths, and potential without the constraints of conventional expectations.

My mother always provided us with love and structure, ensuring we had a solid foundation no matter what life threw at us. This combination of freedom and stability equipped us with the tools to build and create our own structures in life, offering shelter and support when we needed it most. The freedom of nonconformity was the greatest gift she gave me. I was never afraid to walk the path I felt was right for me because I knew she supported my choices.

Her presence was a constant source of guidance and wisdom. She has always been close by to offer sage advice and gently steer us back when we needed direction. Growing up, I realized that my mother is a gift—her love, support, and encouragement shaped who I am today.

I hope everyone has someone like her in their life, someone who provides the perfect balance of freedom and structure, allowing them to explore their potential while always having a safe harbor to return to. Her impact on my life is immeasurable, and I am eternally grateful for her unwavering support and belief in me.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.Kia-Lee.com
• Instagram: LighthouseSurvivor

Image Credits

Photos and Cover by: Kiersten Oteyza
Film Shoot Photos by: Shallow Focus Media