Meet Kierra Foster

We were lucky to catch up with Kierra Foster recently and have shared our conversation below.

Kierra , so great to be with you and I think a lot of folks are going to benefit from hearing your story and lessons and wisdom. Imposter Syndrome is something that we know how words to describe, but it’s something that has held people back forever and so we’re really interested to hear about your story and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome has been a recurring theme throughout my journey, weaving its way into various chapters of my life. It manifests as a nagging doubt, whispering that perhaps I don’t truly deserve the fruits of my labor. For the longest time, I equated my worth with external validation – good grades meant I was worthy, landing prestigious jobs meant I was truly worthy. But it wasn’t until my mid-20s that I took a step back and realized I had been living my life according to someone else’s yardstick of success, not my own. I had become adept at blending in, playing it safe, afraid to rock the boat. Yet, in doing so, I diluted my own abilities and stifled my potential.

It was a moment of awakening when I finally acknowledged to myself: “You deserve good things.” Embracing the notion that simply being myself is sufficient ignited a newfound confidence within me, a flame that continues to burn bright.
I am entitled to occupy a seat at the table because I’ve played a pivotal role in building it. No longer do I fight to sit at tables that demand I diminish myself.

I am grateful for this life lesson because I strongly believe that I carry a level of confidence about myself that has opened many doors for me. This does not mean that I do not have brief moments of doubt, but the way I handle that doubt is much different. Instead of allowing it to create a false reality, I stop this thought, take a deep breath, and repeat to myself, “I am worthy of good things. I deserve good things and good things will continue to follow me.” This practice of self-affirmation has become a powerful tool in my arsenal, allowing me to confront imposter syndrome head-on and emerge stronger each time.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
One of my most significant achievements has been the creation of The Stiletto Files. It stands as a testament to vulnerability and provides a haven where one can shed the facade and simply exist. As women, we often overlook the layers of masks we wear. We conceal our fears and traumas, adhering to a false perception of strength. The inception of TSF was humble, beginning with my own journey into vulnerability through blogging and fostering a virtual community. Over time, it has evolved alongside me and those within the TSF sisterhood, expanding to offer psychotherapy services, coaching, community events, and a podcast. Witnessing the impact we’ve had on the lives of others fills me with immense pride. TSF serves as a catalyst for women to reconnect with their inner Goddess, as we’ve grown accustomed to perpetually adopting a warrior archetype

What sets my brand apart is its harmonious blend of spirituality and mental well-being. Hence, our discussions range from inner child healing and astrology to shadow work and even tarot. TSF embodies a sisterhood, as we collectively embark on our healing journeys. Our services are designed not only to alleviate the mind but to nurture the soul, providing solace and comfort along the way.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Throughout my journey, I’ve garnered numerous lessons, yet I consistently rely on these three truths.

1. You are worth the effort: It’s crucial to recognize your own worth and view yourself as a valuable investment. When you perceive yourself in this light, you’ll go to great lengths to safeguard that investment. This means making tough decisions, such as removing people from your life who hinder your growth, refusing to settle for less than you deserve, establishing firm boundaries, and steadfastly pursuing your goals.

2. Time is your most valuable asset: I’ve come to understand that time is an invaluable commodity. It’s finite and irreplaceable. Therefore, it’s imperative to use it wisely. Seize opportunities, take risks, and live life to the fullest, for time waits for no one. Dwelling on the past or hesitating over whether to take a chance is futile. The answer is always yes – embrace the risk. Moreover, I firmly believe that if someone fails to respect your time, they fail to respect you.

3. Healing is a lifelong journey: Similar to a road trip, healing is not merely reaching a specific destination; it’s an ongoing adventure filled with unexpected detours and breathtaking scenery. Much like a road trip, healing entails encountering delays, traffic, and unforeseen challenges. Yet, amidst these obstacles, there are also moments of serendipity and profound beauty. Embracing the journey means making the most of every twist and turn, knowing that each experience contributes to personal growth and discovery. Just as a road trip offers the opportunity to explore new horizons, the journey of healing allows us to delve deeper into ourselves and uncover hidden strengths along the way.

Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
When I feel overwhelmed, I always remind myself that I have extended my mental and emotional capacity. I tell myself to stop, drop, and reflect. I am always encouraging my clients to check in with their capacity at least three times daily. Ask yourself these three questions:

1. How do I feel right now?
2. What do I need right now?
3. How can I meet those needs?

As you become skilled at monitoring your capacity throughout the day, you’ll find yourself experiencing fewer instances of feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. Picture yourself as a gas gauge – recognize when you’re at full capacity, halfway there, or when the warning signs begin to flash, indicating it’s time to pull over immediately. Additionally, I find it helpful to create a “not to do” list. This enables me to organize the tasks on my plate, distinguishing between priorities, responsibilities absorbed from others, and tasks that can be deferred.

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