Meet Kim Slipski

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kim Slipski a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Kim, so many exciting things to discuss, we can’t wait. Thanks for joining us and we appreciate you sharing your wisdom with our readers. So, maybe we can start by discussing optimism and where your optimism comes from?

When it comes to thinking about the future, I have a favorite quote I often return to: “Nobody knows enough to be a pessimist.”

It’s a good reminder that we simply can’t predict the future, and so it’s important not to mistake our feelings about it for fact. It also serves as a powerful reminder that whether you have a positive, negative, or neutral outlook in life is really up to you.

Psychologist Martin Seligman did research on optimism and also determined that rather than a fixed trait, optimistic thinking can be a learned skill. People who have a pessimistic outlook tend to explain events as more permanent (i.e. “this will never end”), more personal (i.e. “it’s all my fault”), and more pervasive (i.e. “everything is terrible”). On the other hand, people with more optimistic thinking tended to explain things as more temporary and specific, and share the burden of responsibility.

As you can see, pessimistic thinking often tends to be more all-or-nothing and therefore less aligned with reality. So just like we do in therapy, the ability to unpack and challenge our automatic thoughts and beliefs can make a big difference in the way you see the world!

Of course I would never personally claim to be optimistic 100% of the time. I was naturally born a worrier (I get it from my mom), and I’m human just like everyone else. But at the end of the day, we’re always going to get a mixed bag – both good things and bad things will inevitably happen. What I’ve learned over the years is that choosing optimism allows you to take different action and almost always ultimately produces better results.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice, as well as a part-time coach. Both practices, in addition to my background as a yoga teacher, influence the type of tools and perspectives I’m able to bring clients—many of whom are high-achievers struggling with stress and anxiety in highly demanding careers, facing major life transitions, or trying to find the right rhythm in their relationships.

I started my practice, Wellful Therapy, to help clients do more than simply treat traditional mental health issues, but to also use therapy as a place to explore and grow more wholly as people, partners, leaders, and more. I believe that the better our fundamental well-being, the more we can thrive and continue to pursue our potential.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

One of the biggest qualities I think has been critical to the expansion I’ve experienced across my business, personal, and professional paths is actually – as discussed previously – a bias toward positivity. I work with a lot of clients who reasonably find themselves feeling stuck, afraid to take risks, or overwhelmed by the direction the world sometimes seems to be going, but these things often become some of the biggest barriers to actually taking action toward the changes they really want. Taking back a sense of agency and focusing on the things you can do that are actually within your control means the ability to create positive change regardless of the circumstances around you.

Another factor I believe has been important to my journey is the practice of essentialism – prioritizing what really matters and not getting caught in the small stuff. Oftentimes that means boundaries that protect what’s important to you from what the world tells you should be important to you, but even more it provides a huge sense of direction when making decisions about how to use your limited time.

And finally, community will always be one of the most important pieces to anyone’s journey. At the end of the day, we are a world of humans run by humans, regardless of your profession or career. But even more, it’s the people and relationships that support us on each of our individual trails and make it all worthwhile.

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

While it can sometimes be hard to remember in the moment, one of the best strategies I use when feeling overwhelmed is to go high level. Zooming out and asking questions like “What’s the point here?” or “What matters most?” allows us to get perspective to move forward. Perhaps we realize it’s not actually that serious, or maybe we have to make a tough choice and let something go. Even when we have no choice but to accept and surrender to the situation at hand, expanding our vantage point allows us to remember that whatever we’re experiencing is not permanent, and that we can get through it one step at a time.

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