We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Kip Rodgers Watson. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Kip below.
Kip, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I do not see confidence as something to develop. I can’t build your esteem anymore than I can throw a car. Any parent knows this when trying to convince their kid he or she is great and it gets dismissed or rejected.
Confidence is a belief. It is NOT a feeling. Feelings change easily while beliefs do not. Feelings tend to lead to poor decision-making while beliefs highlight an essential quality of taking action. Self-esteem is a belief in your value and worth. When esteem is based on achievement and success it often leads to more struggle with confidence. It is impossible to ‘win’ all the time. It is guaranteed you will mess up and make mistakes.
No matter what we feel, I can, you can take action towards goals or challenges. Since we can’t stop trials, setbacks, and struggles from happening, it is vital to believe in your ability to figure things out. That is confidence.
For years, however, I let feelings rule me. Fear and doubt overtook me when I faced something hard or difficult. Negative feelings are normal in challenges, but I allowed them to be the decision-maker rather than my belief in my ability to figure it out. I never reached what I now know I was capable of as a teenage gymnast because I let those negative feelings keep me from progressing.
When decisions and actions are taken based on a belief to figure it out, then action is taken. So, when I started playing women’s tackle football in my 40’s, I experienced the same fear and doubt, but I did not let those feelings rule me. I decided to take action based on the confidence, the belief I could figure it out.
Now it may sound like a hard shift to change confidence from a feeling to a belief. It is simple once you make the decision to believe in your ability to figure it out. For me, I stopped looking to other people for that assurance and affirmation. I looked to my God who says I am ‘fearfully and wonderfully made and my soul knows it very well’. I recognized it was okay to struggle and I learned to honor it knowing I was ‘made for good works that God prepared beforehand for me to do’. Thus, even in rejection, downfalls, or missed opportunities, I kept failing forward with the belief I CAN and I WILL FIGURE IT OUT.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
Every day, I read the headlines about athletes who struggle and end up making poor choices. Memorable headlines include Junior Seau and Johnny Manziel. Recent headlines include the horrific abuse in USA Gymnastics and the suicide of a D1 quarterback at Washington State.
The banners I read show athletes get arrested, released, benched, sustain career-ending injuries, and get taken advantage of by others. And, on occasion, an athlete makes the drastic choice to take their life leaving behind stunned teammates, family, friends, and fans.
This drives me. It wakes me up every day with purpose. Why? At 15, I was one of those athletes contemplating suicide struggling to live up to my own expectations and the expectations I perceived placed upon me from family and coaches.
As a competitive gymnast, which I mentioned, I had dreams. I wanted to be the best. I made the Hall of Fame at my gym after my first season competing. Where was I to go from there? I did not handle it well at 12 years old. I didn’t have the right beliefs, tools, or habits to achieve what I set out to do. My parents didn’t know either how to coach me through my doubt and fears. But, in all honesty, I did not tell them how bad my inner thoughts were at the time. The only way out at 15, I thought, was to take my life.
Luckily, by divine intervention, I did not choose death.
How Did I Do It? Through hard work on my mental skills—the intangibles—I overcame. I achieved many dreams including playing women’s professional tackle football in my 40’s earning my championship ring in 2008 as a safety for Dallas.
Whether you are an anxious 10-year-old wanting to go elite someday, the parent of a struggling athlete, or a professional athlete dealing with the pressures on and off the field, my desire is to assist you to discover and know your brain—the intangibles—and improve the areas you need to be a consistent high performer in every aspect of your life.
I want to see athletes at every age believe in their worth, value hard work, resiliency, and the team dynamic it takes to get the trophies they earn, the medals around their neck, and the rings on their fingers. When you work with me, no matter, your age or sport, you will know yourself better and gain the beliefs, habits, and tools to perform personally and professional at a consistent high level.
And, this leads me to my big dream–to never read of an athlete who took his or her life. I never want to see an athlete succumb to pressure, depression, anxiety, or make poor choices to land him or herself in a court room. All these situations can be prevented. I overcame, and for more than 25 years, I’ve assisted 1000’s others to overcome and achieve more than they thought possible when they first walked through my door.
My services include 1-to-1 mental assessment and mental training; team workshops; and executive coaching.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Three big skills that have lead to my success are a never give up relentless pursuit of excellence, changing confidence to a belief tied to action (not a feeling), and personal responsibility to work hard everyday.
Folks who are early in their journey towards acquiring these skills must first make a choice to regulate beliefs and manage emotions, then behave appropriately no matter what the circumstances. Allow for failure and seek it out. Honor the struggle that normally comes with life and big time goals!
Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?
Honestly the most helpful person in helping me overcome all the challenges I have faced is myself. Who else is going to do the work required to gain the essential beliefs, qualities, or knowledge I need to succeed? Now, I have had great mentors, and two dynamic parents who have invested in me, but I was the one doing the work.
As I stated before, no one can ‘build’ or ‘develop’ those necessary traits. You have to decide and go get them.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.braincodecorp.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kipfit/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachKipFit
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anne-kip-rodgers-ma-lpc-s-chpc-9b1060a/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/kipfit
- Other: https://associationformentalhealthprofessionals.org/therapy-sisters-podcast/
