We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Kishawn Tyrell D. Gilliam. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Kishawn Tyrell below.
Kishawn Tyrell, we are so appreciative of you taking the time to open up about the extremely important, albeit personal, topic of mental health. Can you talk to us about your journey and how you were able to overcome the challenges related to mental issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
Honestly, I really don’t think I have. I’ve learned to handle my BS better but I didn’t overcome mental health issues because I still deal with them. If anything, exerting self control is what made me gain control over myself. I have really hurt a lot of people including myself on the road of living with a deteriorating mental clarity. When I lost my best friend, my anchor to reality, I really fell into a darkness even worse than when I thought I was getting better but I wasn’t. I was lying to myself & to the world, I was living in a delusion and I really didn’t know that I was splitting my reality into so many different worlds. There was Kishawn A & Kishawn B and depending on which one you got is how you’d base your experience off of me. Some folks will tell you I’m great, some folks will tell you I’m the worst, Believe both.
It’s been about 2 years since that moment i broke the camels back and I realized either I kill myself or I kill my delusions & I decided to kill the cancerous delusion because if I kill myself I won’t have the chance to possibly atone for my wrongs. I still have a chance to help people the right way and do it in a way where they dont even know it was me that helped me. There is no rewards for me, I dont want any, no exceptions. I would love to rekindle lost relationships and friendships, for them to know it was me that did something good for them to show them I changed, I would cry for that moment to just laugh & hug an old friend, but that is part of my ego, my fantasy. I didn’t work for that reality and it’s not a realistic future for me and that’s okay. I feel good about myself and my life these days. I’m not really depressed anymore, but I didn’t overcome it, I really did go thru it, sadly I took alot of people thru it with me. I have my sad moments and days where I just want to sleep all day like I used too, but I get up, I go walking, I workout, I have a gym membership at a black owned gym that is really cool that I like going to, they have great chocolate peanut butter smoothies and that makes me happy.
To those who have mental health battles, my two cents is have self control, you really have it within you, it’s just really hard to force it out on a daily basis but its not impossible, scream if you have too but gain that power over yourself so you dont hurt the people you love, so you dont lose time with them. I’ve lost years of moments an memories I’ll never have that I can only imagine what life would be like. Trust me its not worth it, despite how sad how heartbroken how depressed you are, it’s not worth losing yourself because the reward for losing yourself, is losing all the friends you made along the way. Life is hard for everyone, everybody is in pain, some can carry that weight a little better than others, but it doesn’t mean they dont cry at night all alone wishing for a better life just like you. They aren’t wrong for cutting you off when your adding extra weight to their life they can barley carry. So consideration and self control go along way when you are dealing with mental health issues. its okay to ask for help, but don’t drop all your weight on someone. they can help you carry a little, but dont forget they also already have their own weight to carry.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
Oi Oi, my name is Kishawn Tyrell D. Gilliam, I was born in Lansing Michigan, I created Kg/FantasyImages LLC in 2013, a visual media company that I work for & leverage to create many different opportunities to help a variety of clients and customers. I moved to Atlanta GA in 2016 to explore a bigger world and learned / gained way more than I imagined I would. I’ve been on stages with some of the biggest entertainers in the world, I’ve worked with some of the wealthiest businesses & people behind the scenes that create the entertainment we all love. I’m not a trillionaire yet, I haven’t made 100K annually yet, but I feel like I’ve made it in life so far in terms of accomplishing goals, I believe I’m very lavishly wealthy.
What im focused on is capturing as many stories as I can, the world is huge, everyone has a story to tell, so I can’t capture it all but I can try! That’s what makes my job exciting to the point I dont think of it as a job, its just my life, its just what I do best and I’m the best at what I do.
I like to help people so I’ve been able to help folks with weddings, kids birthdays, etc. Capturing special family moments and memories is fun for me because I know they’ll always have this moment in time frozen for them to cherish. I wish I had more photos of myself with people having fun so it’s important for me to capture other peoples history because its my little way of just giving back to the world. Yes it’s transactional in terms of money but it’s bigger than money, I really get underpaid for what I do, but honestly I don’t mind. I’ll always be able to make money, I won’t always be able to capture this 1 special moment that brings peace of mind to a client that’s happy they can always look back and remember the fun times.
Oh, I also won an Emmy in 2022, that’s new for me. The MC Breed & Bootleg Documentary won 2022 an Emmy for best documentary and I was blessed to be a Camera Operator that shot some of the interviews on the doc at Patchwerk Recording Studios! My 1st award from a camera! BIG THANKS TO TASHA & CURT! I’m happy that happened, its a fun moment I get to think about. I got to tell my Grandpa and he was happy to hear that I won such a big award. He started calling me his “Famous Grandson” an telling all his friends lol so I’m happy I got to make him happy and hear him laugh and he told me he was proud of me and that I was doing a great job and to never give up on my dreams. So I’m moving forward with his advice an supportive energy. He invested in my business and helped me upgrade my lenses & camera to my favorite 7D Mark 2 at the time so I wouldn’t have won an Emmy without my Grandpa helping me, I wouldn’t be able to be the greatest without him.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
I believe the 3 areas of knowledge that were most impactful in my journey is:
1: Patience
2: Curiosity
3. Guts
Without Patience, I wouldn’t have the time to sit and be curious about new things that come around and without Curiosity I wouldn’t imagine myself succeeding, and if I couldn’t imagine myself succeeding I may not have the Guts to get up and actually try to accomplish impossible feats of unknown possibilities. I call these area of knowledge but I gained wisdom thru my experience in all 3 areas from all my wins &. losses. Anybody can gain these skills, you just gotta believe in you.
Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?
I feel I’ve answered this question before on articles like this. I always list off a number of people, because so many folks have helped me, I could never fit everyone on here, but today question will be dedicated to my Grandpa Willie.
Grandpa Willie was a rare man, I’ve never meant anyone else like him and I dont think ever will. He’s from an era that’s largely been forgotten about but it’s an era that create all the freedoms we have today in the black community. He was a Black Panther, a Freedom Fighter, a horse trainer / racer, a farmer, owned a gas station, a semi truck repair shop, and all around cool cat. A true entrepreneur and business man in an era where that was very much an under heard position for the black man. My grandpa was a man of men, a father, a hero, a helper, a leader, a genius, and a dreamer. His imagination passed down to his children which passed on to their children. I dream big because he dreamed bigger, I believed in myself because my Grandpa believed in himself and I grew up seeing him have 26 acres of land to himself that he owned in his name. There was a book I used to love to read called “The Land” by Mildred Taylor, it’s my #1 favorite book of all time, I love it because the main character in the book is basically my grandpa, left home at 15, found life, love & land all on his own. I would be Cassie in terms of characters from the Mildred Taylor series except that I grew up knowing my Grandpa almost into my 30’s. I didn’t realize it at the time of reading this book as a kid, but I fell in love with the character of Paul-Edward Logan because he reminded me so much of my Grandpa Willie, If felt like I was reading his story and that inspired me to want Land of my own because I saw not only Paul-Edward find something of his own, I experienced my Grandpa having Land and the freedom that it came with to live off the Land you can call your own.
My Grandpa is the most important person in my life, because whenever I told him my dreams, he encouraged me to run after them. He never said anything negative, he never told me that I can’t or maybe I should think about this or that, all he ever said “Go for it”. He told me there was nobody greater than me in this world because I’m the greatest. That nobody can tell me that my dreams can’t come true because they’re my dreams. He always pushed me forward and made me believe that no matter how big and impossible my dreams seemed, I could always fight to accomplish my goals as long as I never gave up or gave into fear. I dont know if I ever told my Grandpa what my life long dreams actual are, around the age of 7 or 8 I realized that I wanted to be “The Greatest Explorer & Scientist the world’s ever seen” and I said that all the time, I probably did say it to him and I was just so young I dont remember telling him. But I think that dream subconsciously came from hearing my Grandpa always tell me since I was a baby that I was already the greatest. I just hope he knew how much of an impact he had on my life because he really was my best friend I used to talk to for hours about everything and anything. We spoke about stocks, politics, religion, aliens, super powers, time travel, horses, women, cars, etc, I really don’t have anyone else I can be that open with anymore.
So my Grandpa is the reason I can overcome challenges to be successful, because he told me that I was the greatest & I believed him with no doubts. He taught me the skills to survive on my own from fixing on cars, not being afraid of hard labor, how to survive on just water and peanuts, and how to listen to the wind because that’s our God right there. We can’t see the wind, but we can feel it, we can hear it, it effects us everyday, literally the air we breathe that gives us life. I learned to have faith listening to the winds on the mountains in Africa. My relationship with God has been getting stronger an stronger since then, I attribute that to my Grandpa’s wisdom, for that I give my thanks.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://patchwerk.com/index.php/multimedia-team/photo-and-video/kishawn-gilliam
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fantasyimages/?hl=en
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kishawn-tyrell-d-gilliam-969433a5/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHa3xT5pAKSwgb5EbTodoiQ
Image Credits
Photos taken around the world from Africa to Lansing! Headshot at the Atlanta Braves Stadium taken by 88Vintage LLC
