Meet Klementina (Tina) Sula

We were lucky to catch up with Klementina (Tina) Sula recently and have shared our conversation below.

Klementina (Tina), we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.

I actually believe that purpose is not something you find. Rather, I believe that purpose is within us — inspired by the experiences of our lives — and it’s something we articulate and continue to refine with time and new experiences.

The defining moment that shaped my purpose was being awarded an Alvin M. Bentley Scholarship to attend the University of Michigan (UM). That scholarship allowed me to pursue a variety of opportunities that I don’t think I would have accessed otherwise. Because of that scholarship, I was invited to be a student speaker at a donor recognition dinner at UM in the fall of 2007. It was a few months after I had graduated and I was still unemployed. The person sitting next to me at that dinner was Peggy Burns, the Assistant Dean for Development, Marketing and Communications at UM’s College of Literature, Sciences, and the Arts (LSA). She and I hit it off immediately and she asked me what I was doing since graduation.

I was bold enough to ask her if there were any open opportunities available at her office, but as the words came out of my mouth, my mind was flooded by so many thoughts, questions and doubts: Was it appropriate to ask her to help? Why would she want to help me? I’m nobody. What’s the worst that could happen here really? I probably will never see this woman again. Do I have something to lose here? What if by not asking, I’ll miss out on an opportunity that could literally change my life?

It was that last question that changed everything. It helped me realize that I needed to stop overthinking and analyzing. I needed to just ask. Getting a no would not be the end of the world. But getting a yes, that could be everything! An opportunity was in front of me – I could feel it – and I didn’t want to miss out. If I didn’t ask and if I didn’t put myself out there, I knew deep down that I would regret it. Regrets, I’ve learned, are way worse than rejection.

Peggy didn’t have a chance to respond because at that moment the Dean started the program. I eventually got to go up to the podium myself to express my gratitude for the donors who invest in Michigan students. I also shared my personal story and my two big dreams: to become an immigration attorney and a future US Ambassador to Albania. When I got back to my table, Peggy gave me her answer: she handed me her business card. She told me that I should contact her after I was done with the LSAT.

I did follow up with Peggy (#1 rule of networking is to always follow up!!) and instead of pursuing law school, I ended up working with her, first as her research assistant and then as a fundraiser. I also helped her build two programs at LSA: the College Connections Program which allowed me to interface with over 1,100 UM-LSA alumni from across the country, and the International Giving and Engagement Program which allowed me to connect and reconnect Michigan alumni living outside of the United States with the university. As we were developing the International Giving and Engagement Program, I remember Peggy saying, “I can’t make you a US Ambassador, but I can make you a UM Ambassador,” and she did exactly that. I have the stamps on my passport to prove it.

My experiences as a fundraiser – connecting alumni with opportunities to make a difference in the lives of students and seeing the impact of their engagement and generosity – helped me to begin thinking about my own leadership journey and my goal to live a purpose-driven life, a life dedicated to paying it forward and serving others.

I said a lot in that last sentence. I’d like to connect the vocational, leadership, and experiential dots that that took me a long time to link, and I’ll start by sharing my very favorite definition of leadership, one that I heard at a conference hosted by the Center for Positive Organizations at the University of Michigan many years ago: leadership is turning pain into purpose.

My own journey to leadership development and philanthropy began with a big pain that I was eventually able to turn into purpose, yet I didn’t realize that that was what I was doing until a decade or so later. The reality is that you can only connect the dots looking backwards, never forwards.

As I hinted earlier, when I graduated from the University of Michigan, I had no job and I was extremely embarrassed. I felt like I had let my immigrant parents down. They gave up everything to give me and my brothers a chance to live the American Dream and here I was unable to get a job even with a Michigan degree. I thought I had done everything right: I was a good student, I participated in a plethora of experiences – study abroad, research, volunteering, internships… I took advantage of everything UM had to offer and I had the impressive resume to prove it. But clearly none of that mattered.

Months after I had graduated, someone advised me that I needed to learn how to network. My initial response was “what is that?” and, of course, I turned to Google to find the answer. I didn’t have much luck; not only did I not get much direction, I couldn’t even get a definition for networking that made sense to me.

I was lucky to meet Peggy who gave me my first job — my moment of lift. Years later, I would realize that my interaction with her was networking! That initial connection led to another and another…. and eventually I figured out what networking was. I learned about it through my experiences with the Michigan graduates and donors I was meeting as part of my work in alumni relations, development and fundraising.

Eight years after graduation, I had the opportunity to apply my newfound expertise in networking by networking my way into teaching a course on networking at UM. I wanted to share what I was learning with other students. Specifically, I didn’t want other students to graduate and feel the way I had. I wanted – and still want – everyone to understand what networking is and how to do it successfully so they can start their bold journeys to living their goals and purpose.

Here are three main ideas I want to share about networking with you and your readers.

• First, let’s define what networking is. I define networking as the process of building, nurturing, and activating relationships in order to access (or share) opportunity. We network to share opportunities with one another (to activate our goals and purposes) and we do it through relationship building.
• Secondly, I want to stress the importance of having a networking mindset, which is the belief that we can achieve our goals and purposes through our relationships with others. The opportunities we seek come from other people; humans give opportunities to other humans.
• And, third, I’d like to share the four step networking process. Networking is not an event, it is a process. The four steps, in order, are: (1) define your SMART goal (what are you trying to achieve?); (2) determine WHO can help you with your goal (we network with people and people are WHOs!); (3) engage those individuals and ask for help (you have to engage others; it’s not networking if you don’t); and (4) thank the people you meet, show gratitude and pay it forward; let them know that you don’t take their support for you for granted.

Having said all of this, my personal purpose is clear: to inspire others to live their best lives. My purpose is powered by my story: my immigrant experience, my parents’ sacrifices, and my endless interactions with others – experiences that make me believe that I am a product of the kindness and generosity of others. So many people have invested in me – and continue to invest in me – so I can live my best life. Now, every day, I work on paying it forward to help others live their best lives.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I believe that our beliefs and values make us us. One of my core beliefs is in the power of philanthropy to make the world better.

I believe this because I’m a product of philanthropy myself and I began to understand this when I received my scholarship to attend UM. This scholarship not only gave me access to an amazing education, it is the reason why I met Peggy and why I was introduced to the world of philanthropy, a profession that has allowed me to connect and align the goals, purposes, and dreams of philanthropists with the goals, purposes, and dreams of social impact organizations committed to making the world a better place.

Every day, as a fundraiser, I show up as a connector who helps philanthropists maximize their investments to achieve their purpose —investments that lead to the betterment of mankind (the very definition of philanthropy).

I have also been teaching my course on networking & leadership at the University of Michigan since 2015. In this course, I help students answer the following question: What would you like to accomplish with your life that is meaningful to you? In particular, I teach students to think about the What, Why, and How of living a purpose-driven life. The What is leadership, the Why is their purpose, and the How is networking. As I mentioned earlier, the content of this course was inspired by my work in philanthropy and particularly the lessons and insights I gained from my donor relationships.

During Covid, one of my former students encouraged me to create an online course to make the content I teach available to a global audience. Working with the UM’s Center for Academic Innovation, I created a Coursera course called “How to Network: Leading Yourself to Lead Others.” My goal with the course is to help as many people as possible learn how to become strategic networkers and to do it in a way that is authentic to them. It makes me smile to know that if someone Googles “how to network” today, my course pops up so they can learn how to do just that. Saying this out loud makes me believe that I was able to turn my pain into purpose by helping others figure out what I didn’t understand at first many years ago.

2024 is a new year with new opportunities and I’m being reminded again that the dots do connect when you look backwards. My teaching and philanthropy work have now merged. My work as a teacher is now directly fueling my work as a philanthropic advisor where I have the privilege of supporting philanthropists to navigate the What, Why and How of their philanthropy enabling them to leverage their giving to be the change they wish to see in the world. The question I help philanthropists answer is similar to the question I help students answer: What would you like to accomplish with your money that is meaningful to you? In particular, I specialize on multi-generational philanthropy where I help families meaningfully engage the next generation with the family philanthropy.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Excellent question. I would focus on the following big ideas:

1. Spend time, effort, and money to get to know yourself and to invest in yourself so you can always show up as the best version of yourself. I have learned that if you don’t know who you are, what motivates you and what you care about, you’ll be aimless and directionless and, therefore, purposeless. I think it’s also the case that if you don’t stand for anything, you’ll fall for everything. Another way to say this is that if you can’t lead yourself, it makes it very hard to lead others. In terms of self-discovery, I have identified that effective leaders share the following 5 characteristics:
   1. Everything they do is “on purpose”/intentional: their purpose & goals are clear.
   2. They are authentic: they show up as their true selves and express their true intentions (they are vulnerable).
   3. They are curious: they have a desire to learn and grow and are not comfortable with the status quo.
   4. They are generous: they show up to serve others and to support others with their time and resources.
   5. They are grateful: they don’t take anything for granted and they celebrate others.
   6. Bonus! They care: When combined, these characteristics reveal that this person
2. Explore your curiosity. I think everyone should prioritize learning as much as possible about as many things as possible. Everyone wants to be able to connect the dots but if you don’t have many dots, it’s impossible to connect them and turn them into meaningful insights. Here’s something else I have learned about knowledge: I believe that knowledge isn’t power; I believe that knowledge is leverage. If you have it, it will always save the day when you need to use it!
3. Learn how to network; learn how to engage with people. America indeed is the land of opportunity, but I have seen that opportunities in America don’t fall from the sky. I have learned that opportunities have to be given to you and these opportunities are given by people. So invest the time in building, nurturing, and activating relationships. The opportunities you’ll have access to are directly proportional to how much others know you, like you, and trust you. And here’s a takeaway that explains this well: when you apply for a job, a company doesn’t hire you; a person at that company hires you. Remember that! Life is a relationship business, and it happens with people through people for people.

I’d love to drive this point home. I mentioned earlier that one of my dreams is to become a future US Ambassador to Albania. And I believe I will. Here’s how I think it will happen: I believe that one day one of my students or someone in my network will become a congressman, senator, or even the US President. Then, it will be their privilege and within their scope of authority to nominate individuals for ambassadorships. When asked for nominees, I think they’ll think of me. Then, they’ll call to ask if I’d be interested in serving our country as a diplomat. Of course, I’ll say yes. (Making sure people know what opportunity you seek is key to strategic networking!)

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?

I love that you ask this question. I have learned that 50% of our values are formed by the time we’re five years old. By the time we’re 13 years old, 90% of our values are formed. And by the time we’re 21, our values are locked for life unless we have a traumatic event – positive or negative – that impacts what we value. All of this is based on the work of Dr. Morris Massey, a world-renowned expert on how values are formed.

Having said this, you won’t be surprised when I say that the most impactful thing my parents did for me was to pass on their values – their Albanian values. Whether it’s my donor work or my teaching work or just how I show up as a person — it’s my Albanian values that guide me.

One key Albanian value is being hospitable, gracious, and treating others better than you treat yourself. There’s a famous Albanian saying that articulates this best: “the house of an Albanian belongs to God and the guest.” Growing up with my great-grandma and my grandparents, I saw them demonstrate what Albanian hospitality looks like. I have many stories of watching my grandparents and parents taking care of others and serving others. They taught me what it means to show up for other people and how to do it right.

A few years ago, I remember watching the show “New Amsterdam” where the head physician, Dr. Max Goodwin, would always ask, “How can I help?” That phrase reminded me so much of my grandparents and parents and the Albanian values I was raised with. I now ask a similar question quite often myself.

In my work and in my life today, that’s how I show up: to help. Because I care about people. Helping people live their best lives is my mission. It’s my purpose.

I’m grateful for a lot of things that my parents have taught me and have done for me, including the ultimate sacrifice of leaving everything behind to come to America to give my brothers and me the chance to live our American dreams. But having them pass on their Albanian values to me through the experiences we had growing up, that’s what I’m most grateful for. Those values are core to who I am and are core to how I show up and how I build relationships with others.

Contact Info:

• Website: Link to my online course: https://www.coursera.org/learn/how-to-network
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/klementinasula/ 

Image Credits
John Hardwick for profile photo. My own cell phone for other picture with my students.