Meet Kris Alyssa

We recently connected with Kris Alyssa and have shared our conversation below.

Kris, we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hops that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.

I only discovered as an adult I have ADHD. It’s been a challenge since school days that back then I couldn’t even define. School was rough. I got the grades part down, but I was shy and anxious so the social piece was difficult. I still have trauma from back then related to self-worth and not fitting in. I didn’t have the classic hyperactivity or inattentiveness, but the term “rejection sensitive dysphoria” defined my childhood. Identifying the cause as ADHD has helped to know my experience is both normal for people like me, yet not normal in that I shouldn’t expect to feel excluded from society. It’s created a mandatory resilience. I think on my feet due to having to adapt so much to society, so when any upheaval comes up I can just go with it. It’s led to creative expression and artistic outlets simply out of necessity. There’s only so much hyper-fixating I can do on the same subject, so that is when stuff like songwriting or drawing helps a lot.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

Someone else asked me recently what I do and to summarize…everything. Officially: ADHD coach. I put out content I wish I saw myself before it happened to me. Stuff people don’t correlate with ADHD like boundary issues, disordered eating, social outcast feelings, anything I’ve been through. Along with that, I write, I make music, I work with dogs. I got back from Florida yesterday where I flew for a mentorship to run playgroups at the animal shelter. I’ve had to put dog activities on hold lately as I finally reached the “burnout stage” every volunteer experiences. I have three rescues of my own so I want to give them more of my time. I’ve taken up music production to fill that void. I’ve been wanting to do this for nearly a decade and have done radio, songwriting, various audio softwares…it was just never the right time. It’s definitely cathartic to create songs out of pain I’ve experienced as a way to make sense of it. Right now it’s kind of in the experimental stage. But I don’t think I can deviate from dog world very long so I’m sure I’ll be back to run dogs at the shelter soon. Everything I do is just to get my mind off of my mind to put it shortly. I see what all out there looks cool and fun then try to do it myself. So yeah, everything.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

The first simply is humility. Compassion, understanding, not putting yourself above (or below) anyone else. It puts life in perspective. Bad stuff happens all around, not just to you, and not just today either. Some of us are still recovering today from stuff that happened years ago, so give people grace. Acknowledging when you’re wrong in front of someone, even apologizing, is not a skill everyone has. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes is a lot more work than most people want to do.

Second is fearlessness. As a Christian I only fear God, so I know the worst that can happen is death, which is also the best thing as we return home. But even as a non-believer, people should ask themselves what they are so afraid of. Social rejection? Those people don’t matter as much as you think. Going broke? Homelessness? If you truly want help there’s always one person out there who can get you back on your feet. Ultimately, there’s this existential fear of death, and a feeling of futility on this planet, that is the root cause behind most people’s hang-ups. Having God totally negates that for me as I have full faith He put me here for a reason. He has my back in every scenario.

Last but not least, integrity. People can’t put their finger on what this is because it’s rare anymore. We live in a world of group-thinkers who think they are the opposition. They change their minds as soon as the crowd stops backing them. Good character means being a person of your word, sticking by your morals even if the whole crowd is against you, being logically consistent, being open to changing your views when proven wrong, but never compromising your values. It’s really hard for most people because it doesn’t pay off financially or socially. In fact it can put you in the hole as far as either of those goes. But you cannot buy respect. And you definitely can’t buy it back after it’s been lost.

All of these come with intentional introspection. See yourself as at least part-wrong in situations that go wrong. Don’t blame yourself, just analyze yourself as an outsider. We never want to criticize ourselves but we love to feel sorry for ourselves. Stop it. Accept that sometimes it’s your fault when bad stuff happens.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?

I try not to indulge myself. Mentally escaping means physically escaping. I go on long drives, turn on my music and get lost. I am still working on avoiding sugar and caffeine (one day at a time!). We all internally know indulging in substance not only doesn’t help but puts us in a hole of self-hatred. The addiction beast lurks in all of us, even if that addiction is the internet. I think a lot about a lot, and I think about what I think about too. It sounds kinda nuts but don’t just let your thoughts escape and control you. The Word says take thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. If they aren’t serving you, ditch them. You should be aware of what recurrent thoughts keep driving your actions. Even the music we listen to all day can totally program bad thinking in us. My best strategy is think about your thoughts. A lot of them are feelings that have gone unchecked – especially if you’re a male. Don’t let yourself ruin your own relationships because you can’t handle yourself.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.underdog.army
• Instagram: underdog.army
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@underdog.army7
• Soundcloud: https://www.soundcloud.com/uncommon-dogs
• Other: Uncommon Dogs Productions:
  www.youtube.com/@uncommondogs

Image Credits

Credit: Uncommon Dogs Productions.