We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Krista Landis a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Krista, we sincerely appreciate you joining us today and agreeing to talk about some very personal topics. So, to kick things off, let’s talk about a tough one – divorce. Can you talk to us about how you overcame divorce?
Over my lifetime I’ve overcome many things. One of those being divorce. When I was 20 years old I married a young man who promised me many things, none of which he ever fulfilled. Shortly into our first year of marriage I learned several secrets that he had been hiding from me and lying to me about over the course of our relationship. For years he hid behind a facade, a mask that covered his true colors and his true nature. Once that slipped and I saw who was really behind the mask I was already in too deep. I was married and expecting my first child. So, I clung to the hope that maybe he’d change. For years he had used charm, lies, manipulation and coercion to get what he wanted. To subdue me into going along, to get along… to keep me silenced and not speak up for myself because everytime I did he would use those things against me and use mind games & gaslighting to manipulate and take advantage of me….and yet I hoped maybe, just maybe he would/could change. After our first child was born the physical violence and other abuse became much worse, his dependency on drugs & alcohol abuse exploded, the neglect and abandonment increased and got so much worse… Finally, after being trapped in the abusive relationship for over a decade I was able to escape. In secret, I fled with 2 young children in tow and began to rebuild a new life from scratch. We had to leave everything behind and start over with nothing, leaving our entire lives we’d had for the past decade behind. After moving to a new city, builiding a new community, new friendships and developing a solid support group we learned that we could not only survive, but thrive as a new family unity of 3. It was a whirlwind of chaos to plow through, but we made it and learned just how resilient we are!
Looking back I can see how much I’ve grown (one of my life mottos is to “grow through what you go through”), learned and overcome because I had no other choice but to move forward. To work through the pain, heartache, trauma and abuse. It was very important to me that I was able to support and guide my kids as they to processed through everything. I did everything I could to provide a safe home environment and help them work through their traumatic experiences so they could heal and move forward. Simultaneously, I spent a lot of time processing and working through my own grief, trauma, losses, multiple betrayals from close family members and people we had thought were friends… (that followed shortly after we fled our abuser, my ex-husband). Through that I discovered my strengths and areas I needed to work on, determined where and how I could grow/expand my knowledge and mostly I discovered that I could do anything I set my mind to with determination, grit, the support of a few very close friends and a few family members, the love of my kiddos and my faith in God that gave me strength when I had nothing left.
My faith carried me through some of the most horrendous and gutwrenching trials, but through it all I clung to the hope that God had a better future in store for us. That belief kept me going through all the rough, incredibly painful and trying times. Holding on for dear life to that hope was all I could do when everything looked bleak and it was nearly impossible to see anything turning out for the better…. but, what I didn’t know then was that someone sooooo much better than I ever could have dreamed of was just around the corner waiting for me! The biggest and best surprise I never saw coming was re-connecting with a childhood friend (who became my hubby) while revisiting the church I had attended in my youth. He immediately stepped in providing the support and encouragement I needed as a mom, loved my kids as if they were his own from the moment he came into the picture and has been the most amazing father. With his love and support the kids and I are thriving and living our best lives! It still amazes me how God orchestrated everything and worked it all together for our good. He truly turned ashes into beauty, and has made our life together as a family so unbelievably beautiful and better than I ever dreamed possible!
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am a travel planner, travel blogger and travel content creator. I love to share my discoveries of hidden gems, unique destinations, travel saving tips, planning tips and tricks & travel guides to help equip you with tools and resources you can utilize while planning and dreaming about your ideal adventure.
Part of my services is to assist you with organizing your trip, whether that is doing the research for you, helping you to arrange the perfect itinerary or assisting with reservations, booking tickets or making your travel arrangements I’m here to help you achieve your dream trip! I am a type A planner by nature and love the opportunity to help others create a well organized plan, discover unknown gems and carve out a perfect itinerary tailored to your specifications- dream destinations, experiences, excursions, tours, luxury stays or achieving lux travel at an affordable price!
I also offer pre-curated travel guides, itineraries available on my blog as well as loads of travel tips, insights and beautiful destinations to fill your day dreams with. I’d love to chat with you about your travel goals, hopes and help you create a trip suited to your specific needs and dreams. I’d love to connect with you to talk all things travel, find me on my Instagram or blog and lets chat soon!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Having a strong faith, grit and determination will take you far in life! I learned that having a deeply rooted faith can carry you far when the rug is pulled out from under you in life. When the unexpected happens, knowing that God is there to turn to in times of desperation, loss, trials and heartache, to provide a peace that is unexplainable, hope and encouragement when life seems hopeless is something I firmly believe everyone should have to rely on to carry you through the stormy seasons in life. After going through the process of fleeing from an abusive marriage, becoming a single mother, continuing with higher education while single parenting, discovering blood is not always thicker than water (unfortunately in my case anyway. While in the middle of a very lengthy family court custody battle I was betrayed repeatedly by immediate family which added yet another extremely painful loss to process, while simultaneously being failed by the family court system)…. Through those difficult trials and losses I uncovered my own potential and learned how to be resilient in the face of devastation. I discovered how reslient I am and that I can get through anything with the support of my amazing hubby, hope, my faith and positive thinking.
During this huge life altering storm, I was purposeful in making time for myself, even if that ended up only being a few minutes to journal or reflect before bed (and I strongly encourage this to everyone). I made an effort to focus on my own healing (mental, emotional and physical), personal growth and a mindset shift, as well as investing lots of time with my children together and individually. Allowed time for us to grieve, process and sort through our emotions and what life would look like now that we were starting a new life, away from our abuser. I also spent a lot of time reflecting on everything that I had gone through and the effects it had on me, the life I had to leave behind, single parenting, what I wanted for my children and how I could make it our reality, as well as time spent reflecting on all that I’d overcome, regained confidence in myself and discovered how resilient and capable I was at pursuing a better life. I can’t stress enough how valuable making time for yourself and your health is! Those were truly the best things I did for my mental health and what allowed me to let go of the past pain and hurt & helped me to prepare for a better future. I walked away from that portion of my journey feeling equipped with the tools I needed to help me to move forward even when there was no clear path ahead.
Keeping a postitive outlook despite negative situations can literally be a life saver when chaos surrounds you… not allowing previous situations or negative outcomes to dictate how I would respond kept me going when everything seemed hopeless. Choosing instead to focus on the good, the positives and stay persistent in my pursuit of better days ahead kept me from floundering and getting lost in a sea of sorrow. Instead, I narrowed my focus on what I wanted life to look like for us and then pursued those things, fought with everything I had to better our lives & provide a lifestyle where we could thrive and live a life we loved.
How would you spend the next decade if you somehow knew that it was your last?
After leaving an abusive past, trying to erase as much of the damage as possible and working to build a positive, safe environment where my children and I could heal, grow and find stability my main goal and focus has been to create a life filled with as many happy, positive and uplifiting memories as possible. One of my non-negotiables for our family has been that we would travel, create memories and pursue new adventures as a family, savor time together and capture the moment, siezing the day as much as possible.
If I only had a decade left, I would spend as much time together with my family and friends as possible. Plan activities, and special experiences and adventures together to make the most of every day and every moment. One of my mottos is that “You only live once, so live it to the fullest”, so I aim to live everyday as fully as possible and fill each day with special memories.
I’ve always loved to travel and if I learned I was living on borrowed time (limited amount of time left) I would plan an extended journey with my hubby (and kids if they were able to join us now that they’re adults) and close friends & travel to see and experience as much of the world as possible. I’d love to visit every continent, learn other cultures, languages and share the joy of creating memories and celebrating special moments with old friends & new. I’d live each day like it was my last, aiming to make the most out of it and never waste a moment or take anything for granted!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://stampsinmypassport.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stampsinmypassport1/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stampsinmypassport1
- Other: https://benable.com/Stampsinmypassport
Image Credits
Red dress photo taken by ericamiller.photography
