Meet Lance Wamaitha

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Lance Wamaitha. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Lance, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

Confidence, for me, is as a lack of fear of other people having negative opinions on me. So, I got over that fear the same way anyone gets over any fear: by confronting it head on.

When I was younger (specifically throughout middle school) I went years without having any actual close friends. Hardly anybody wanted to talk to me and there wasn’t a single kid who ever wanted to hangout after school or on the weekends. No one ever called or texted. It got to the point where, everyday at lunch, I would simply eat my food and then put my head down until the period was over because there wasn’t a single other kid who would talk to me. This situation forced me to face the truth that my peers simply had all had negative opinions of me.

While this may sound like something that would destroy my confidence (although it did for a time) it also renewed my confidence because it led me to one conclusion: Since my peers already don’t like me, I stand to lose nothing by being myself. Since I was dead to the social ecosystem of my peers I was also free from its expectations. I didn’t have to say whatever was cool even if it wasn’t what I believed or wear what was cool even if it wasn’t my style, or do what was cool even if I didn’t enjoy it. I could simply be me.

This same realization still impacts my decisions to this day. It has allowed me to wear, say, and do the things I truly enjoy. This is because now I know how bad it feels to be disliked while being yourself but I also know that it feels so much worse to be disliked while trying to be someone else. This has led to me expressing myself in many ways, such as my unique and colorful style of dressing that many of the people in my life know me for. It’s also what pushed me to join my school’s dance company despite how it make my peers think of me since no guy in recent years had done so before me. I even came together with a couple other students to start a club out of our love for STEM: the Science Collective, despite how nerdy it may seem to others.

The best (and most ironic) part about this whole thing is that me not caring if other people liked me is exactly what caused other people to start liking me. Every time I expressed my love for something I was met with dozens of peers who loved that same thing. Also, all the memories I have of things like the performing arts and science competitions aren’t just mine, they’r shared with everyone else who participated too. This meant created strong bonds that led to the many friendships that I enjoy today.

The people around me also started thinking I was cool, not because I did what was perceived to be cool but because I did what I wanted and was never afraid to do so. This resonated with people to the point where they even voted me to be on the homecoming court not just once but twice and chose me to be in the homecoming parade. It turns out that people would rather just see others be themselves than pretend to be someone they’re not. Who would’ve thought?

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I am currently looking towards higher education as I am a high school senior so college decision season is just at the horizon. While I am highly focus on academics I am also focused in the performing arts as I am playing a major role in my school’s upcoming spring musical (Sebastian in The Little Mermaid) and am a part of my school’s choir and dance company. Dance in particular is something I am open to continuing in college and I am open to being a part of any school’s dance company if they would like to have me.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Resilience. While I have learned to be myself over the years despite what other people think, that doesn’t change the fact that there will always be people who dislike or look down on you, and that can hurt. Learning to live with others not liking you doesn’t make it anymore fun. At the end of the day, everyone naturally wants to be liked and feel as though they belong. Sometimes you just have to face the facts that being liked and being you are two different things and be able to face consequences that come with choosing the latter.

Focus. Everything you do can and will be be interpreted by your peers, and because everyone has their own unique perspective their interpretations will almost never exactly match your intentions. This can lead to people around you talking about and spreading rumors of who they think you are based on the conclusions they jump to after interpreting what you do. I’ve had my fair share of this. From rumors about my relationships, religion, and sexuality, people have over and over rumored and accused me of being what I’m not based on how they perceive me. Through my experience and times like this I’ve found that it is best to let all the noise faze into the background by focusing on what you know is true about yourself and moving forward.

Ambition. Always having high standards and goals to reach for has not only helped me to be myself, but allowed me to be the best version of myself I can be. In times where I may not have had a very full social calendar and no one I waiting up for me, my drive to be better at everything I do is what got me out of bed in the morning.

What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?

Healthily accepting help when needed has been a weak point of mine for a long time. This is because I’ve been used to going it solo and doing it on my own. I’m used to the dynamic being me versus my peers so I’m struggling a bit not that it has become me with my peers versus a shared obstacle more times than not. Learning to break down those barriers that I built up when I was younger is something I am still working on doing to this day. Every time I reach for a helping hand part of that wall I’ve built gets chipped away.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @lancendungi

Image Credits

Nolan Hardeman, Perrin lambert, Perrin Lambert, Perrin Lambert, Katie Mcdeerman