We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful LaShawn Williams. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with LaShawn below.
LaShawn, so good to have you with us today. We’ve got so much planned, so let’s jump right into it. We live in such a diverse world, and in many ways the world is getting better and more understanding but it’s far from perfect. There are so many times where folks find themselves in rooms or situations where they are the only ones that look like them – that might mean being the only woman of color in the room or the only person who grew up in a certain environment etc. Can you talk to us about how you’ve managed to thrive even in situations where you were the only one in the room?
I remind myself, and others, but primarily myself that we all have things in common. We all want, generally, the same – or very similar – things in life. We want to be listened to, believed, heard and understood. I try to listen to what’s being said and what’s not being said. I also, at times, listen for what’s safe to proceed with doing. Not every opportunity is safe for progress and that is unfortunate. In most environments, remembering to hear and value and validate the humanity of all persons involves is so important to group success. I also judge my effectiveness in a relative way. Effective may not always be successful, if success only means that everyone agrees. Sometimes it’s effective and successful to just get people of varying opinions in the room who can stay long enough to gather more information. If I can gather enough information, I can probably get more people in the room who look like me and help move the thinking processes forward towards meaningful change.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I worked in higher education for almost 20 years and recently left it to pursue wellness and relational change work. I love teaching and I love learning. I’ve been a licensed clinical social worker for almost ten years and I consider myself the holder of space and tension for people’s personal stories as my therapeutic practice. I absolutely love it. I’ve used my own life experiences as a military kid who moved around a lot to help me help others who have been out of place in situations beyond their control, because these things impact our mental health and we deserve so many places to talk about how we are impacted and how we still hold onto hope for change. I’m offering therapy services to the community full time now and I’m also offering community wellness workshops for folks that aren’t seeking therapy but who are seeking change. I have individual and interpersonal coaching services at my office space and online. I also will have yoga classes and wellness programs coming soon.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I had to accept the reality of a lot of things I couldn’t change (like moving every year from 2nd to 10th grade, keeping and losing friends, being divorced, job transitions, etc). It pushed me to really, genuinely and transparently, learn to sit with myself. This is why I became certified as a yoga teacher too.
I focused on authenticity in a very real way when I was going through my divorce. It helped me learn that there were definitely issues in the relationship that signaled the need for it to end. What happened when I was left with my own reality as a single person were the additional things that had nothing to do with the relationship and everything to do with me that I needed to figure out how to address and change so that I could fully and totally heal. I’m still working on and through this.
Finally, my relationship with reciprocity has been the outgrowth of these qualities. I have learned the balance of giving to others and the importance of receiving and accepting what is given. I really enjoy the reciprocity I have with the creative process. It makes mundane things really rewarding because there is a benefit when I invest in giving my time and energy to things like budgeting and researching marketing techniques.
For folks in the beginning stages, I’d say focus on what you can actively take ownership of in your life. There are a lot of ways that we shame ourselves into paralysis and not taking ownership of our life experiences and lessons. It’s normal, but it’s not necessary. We can take ownership of a few key things – like 2 or 3 – and when we focus on addressing those 2 or 3 things in a really earnest way, they will significantly change the 10 or 20 things we THINK are horribly wrong.
What would you advise – going all in on your strengths or investing on areas where you aren’t as strong to be more well-rounded?
This is a great question. I think, as someone who considers herself values oriented towards change, there are certain things that will get us up and moving whether we have the motivation to do so or not. Our values can become those motivators. I often tell clients that making a choice between two difficult actions is never easy and it’s not supposed to be. We just need to choose the one that we are more willing to do more than the one we are less willing to do. Either way, something needs to be done. Now, all of this works as long as everything works: namely, you don’t have too many weaknesses that cause impairment. However, for someone like me with a late-adult diagnosis of ADHD, focusing on weaknesses is an imperative. Executive function deficits are just that: deficits. They aren’t failures and they aren’t character defects. They are deficits. One of the great things about getting a diagnosis is having symptoms and criteria to work with. So whether we see the symptoms and criteria for what they are or as “weaknesses” once we know what they are, we can actually work on them. I’m a big fan of focusing on the challenges we face that impair the awesomeness we want to do. Time blindness is my biggest challenge, hence taking months to finish this submission, but with the right plans and supports and checkins and GRACE from others in place… all of us, including me, can be successful by building ourselves UP with support necessary to limit the impact of our weaknesses.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.drlashawn.com
- Instagram: @drlashawn
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drlashawn
Image Credits
UVU Staff Telos Staff $heMoney LaShawn Williams
