We were lucky to catch up with Laura Baits recently and have shared our conversation below.
Laura , we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
Lack of confidence and low self-esteem are things I’ve struggled with most of my life- it’s only been more recently- over the past 10 years or so- that I’ve really come into my own and truly hold myself in high regard and know my worth.
I was like many people who thought “fake it till you make it” was the right way to go. And although that helped push me to do things that were scary and hard, I never had true confidence or what I would say a ‘healthy’ self-image of myself or high self-esteem.
I am not unlike many women. I grew up feeling inadequate in every sense of the word and hating the way I looked. I struggled with my weight my whole life and had tried in one way, shape or form, to “fix” it since I was around 10 years old. I would do ok with various diets for a while, and then I would fall back into my old cycles and patterns, and then gain it all back. This did a number on my confidence.
I then became obsessed with healthy eating, weight loss, and fitness. Through this part of my journey, I become a healthier version of myself- at least on the outside. On the inside I was hurting. I didn’t understand why looking better did not equate to FEELING better. I didn’t understand why I was doing all the right things and still felt insecure, unworthy, and not good enough.
It was about 10 years ago- around my 40th birthday- after my first bikini competition, that things started to click for me. I was 40 years old. I looked amazing! I had done something that most will never even attempt to do! I executed a plan for months. I was 100% focused and disciplined. I was smaller, more fit, leaner and stronger than I had ever been. AND I got up on stage in a tiny bikini in front of many people! I had done it! I had reached my goal, I felt amazing and was super proud of myself. I had arrived!
Or so I thought… Until about a week later- when I went back to my normal ways of eating, normal schedule and the weight started creeping back in. I began to feel like a failure. Again.
Months went by, and I was still gaining weight and feeling awful, I thought it must have something to do with how I THINK about myself. So I decided to get on stage again. This time I would do it right. This time, it would stick!
As I’m sure by now you can imagine, this time it did not stick. I was miserable every step of the way, I trained for 4 long months. I had to be focused, disciplined, and my life revolved around working out, prep cooking and measuring my food. The day of the show, when I should have been super proud of myself and my accomplishment, I was picking myself apart from head to toe. I couldn’t wait for it for to be over. I hated myself. How could I put in this much effort and have this result? This was a pivotal moment for me.
I had to figure out what was happening and why I felt so horrible. Why I saw a very different picture of myself in my mind that people on the outside saw.
What I came to realize was that the thoughts and beliefs I carried about myself were crippling me. And it wasn’t just about my body. When I started digging in deeper, I realized It was affecting every single part of my life. How I showed up in the world. My beliefs made me feel small in every way. They hurt my relationships, my career, and what I thought I was capable of. I was afraid to be seen, and to use my voice. I was putting myself in a box in every area of my life, and I needed to break free.
I had worked with all kinds of coaches at this point, they were all focused on external results. Losing weight, building muscle, looking good. None, NOT ONE, was helping me work on my mindset.
So I started learning as much as I could about all of it. I started to journal the thoughts and beliefs I had about myself, then dug into what those meant and how they were impacting me. I started to notice patterns, triggers and self-sabotaging behaviors I kept repeating. Over time, I began to realize that that’s all they were- just thoughts and beliefs. Many of them had no evidence or truth to them! How did they have so much power over me? I learned to work through my limiting beliefs- and whoa – I had a lot. I started using meditation and positive affirmations, journaling and reframing to change the beliefs and thoughts in my head and slowly over time these practices changed my life.
I’ve been doing this work now for about 8 years. I still need to refer to some of the tools I mentioned from time to time as this is a life-long process. But I can say, doing this work has made me see my value, know my worth, it allows me to be my true self, and show up powerfully no matter the situation. Through being honest and vulnerable with myself, I’ve been able to cultivate self-compassion and unshakable confidence in myself.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I created Elevate You Coaching to empower women to live their best lives through improving self-image and creating unstoppable confidence. I’ve been in the coaching space for over a decade and have helped hundreds of women push through their internal false narratives, to shatter glass ceilings, smash goals and unlock the warrior within. Through my journey, what I’ve realized is there is no silver bullet; but to be the confident, empowered, strong woman you want to be, Mind, Body and Soul must be aligned. Everyone has a unique path to follow to achieve their goals. I am super passionate about helping others find their path, get unstuck, and see their value. The ah-ha moments we discover together is what lights me up! As women we are all strong, beautiful, smart, capable, powerful and unique. It’s my mission to help every woman who goes through my program feel that and more!
In my signature program, ‘Your Path Your Way: From Surviving to Thriving”, we sift, shift and soar together to uncover the energized, magnetic and aligned person you are meant to be! My programs provide the roadmap to create life changing personal transformation that allows you to move past your fears and self-doubt and move into the best version of yourself. Our group coaching program covers all topics that lead you from surviving to thriving including exploring limiting beliefs and how to shift them, how to identify and create habits that align with your goals, discover ways to energize ourselves through nutrition, movement and self-care, and create a happier more fulfilling life by bringing in more joy, positivity, celebration and gratitude.
I share all the tools that I’ve used on my personal journey that have helped me thrive. There is no cookie cutter approach to overall well-being. I will guide you, but we’re all different. What works for one doesn’t always work for another. The experience and figuring out what works for you is the fun part!
I am also a big believer in fostering a community of women who are open-minded, non-judgmental, respectful, and relatable who support, uplift and elevate each other in every way. If you’re looking for a deep sense of connection, a place where you will feel seen, heard and valued, we are always looking to add new members to our amazing circle. In my private Facebook group, I also offer free workshops, trainings, tips and tricks on mindset, health and wellness and much, much more. We’d love for you to join us!
You can join my private Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/elevateyoucoach
Or for more information about me and my program, check out my website here: https://www.elevateyoucoach.com/
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
It’s tough to choose just three! There have been countless things that have contributed to my journey that have been impactful. These are not the only qualities, skills or areas of knowledge, but they are definitely in my Top 10.
Having a growth/beginner’s mindset is critical to elevating yourself. I consider myself a life-long learner, therefore I am always open to new concepts and ideas. I think learning and experiencing different perspectives is always an opportunity for growth. It gives you the ability to see things through a different lens. Just because you think you already know something doesn’t mean it’s the right way or the only way. Being open to new ideas, being curious, eager to learn and letting go of preconceptions can help tremendously when you’re digging into things like thoughts, emotions and self-reflection. Being curious instead of judgmental can help you see things you might not see otherwise. I always try to see things through new eyes. Even if it’s something I think or already know, I ask myself, what else or what more can I learn from this information or experience? As humans our biggest gift is our ability to continue to expand our intelligence and abilities over time. We are never too old to learn new things or have ah-ha moments that can change your life. To see that level of transformation you must be open to it learning new things and embracing it!
The second thing that has helped tremendously is understanding that we have more control than we think we do over the outcomes in our lives. Learning about the power of decision, and that most of live on ‘autopilot’ because of habits, patterns and conditioning that no longer serves us. How many of us do things daily just because we’ve always done it? Being more intentional and making conscious decisions everyday helps us better align to who we are today and where we want to go. The average person makes over 30,000 decisions a day. Of course they are not all pivotal life decisions, but these daily decisions help shape who we are and how we show up in the world. Just giving an extra second to think, “Does this decision support who I am today, my true desires, or who I want to be?” Allowing yourself to consciously choose every day is important. I think I heard this for the first time from Tony Robbins, and I was like WHOOOAAA, that is a game changer!
The last quality that has allowed me to transform into who I am today is resilience. Things do not aways go your way, you’re going to stumble and fall. You’re going to lose the weight and then gain it back again. You’re going to fail at a project, or screw up a relationship, or sometimes say the wrong thing. We are HUMAN and this is all part of the human experience. Don’t be so scared of failure that it stops you from trying! Life is full of new opportunities, and if we’re scared of failing all the time, we won’t see them even if they knock on our front door. Life is about making mistakes and growing through adversity! Every mistake or failure is a learning opportunity to grow or be better. Have the resilience to keep going! Self-compassion helps a lot when something negative happens- talk to yourself like you would your best friend if she came to you with that same exact situation. Adjust your crown, get back on the horse and start riding!
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
I am such a bookworm and love reading! There are so many transformational books that have made a powerful impact on my life. I think the one that jumps out at me the most is “The Gifts of Imperfection” By Brene Brown. I read this book for the first time back in December of 2012. I was still somewhat stuck on my limiting beliefs, perfectionism and people pleasing and was far too invested in what other people thought of me. I wanted desperately to love myself, to feel like I belonged, to understand why I had so many failed relationships and why I felt empty and numb.
This book taught me so many things that have changed my life for the better. One take-a-way was that shame is nothing to fear, when feelings of shame overwhelm us, that’s when we need courage and vulnerability to share with others. I always handled my shame privately. It ate away at me. I would not allow myself to be vulnerable with anyone, because to me, that was a sign of weakness. When I was going through something hard, my instinct was to retreat by myself until I felt ready to face the world again. I faced all my shame, sadness, overwhelm alone. After reading this book, little by little I would allow the courage to seep in, and I would start to to share slowly with others I trusted. This allowed my whole world to crack open and improve my relationship not only with myself, with others as well.
My biggest a-ha moment was that my limiting beliefs were holding me back from being my authentic self. I had a false sense of belonging. I was a people pleaser and perfectionist so people would love and accept me instead of loving myself enough to show up authentically. This book gave me permission to be imperfectly me, it helped me connect the dots about why I was feeling specific emotions. It helped be more compassionate toward myself and others because as humans, we’re all going through something hard. It taught me to be courageous and vulnerable with my feelings and emotions. It helped me be a better friend and show up authentically to my relationships. It taught me to DIG Deep – get deliberate, inspired and get going when I feel overwhelmed or need a reset.
This book helped plant the seeds for Elevate You Coaching. Reading this is when I knew this work was not only important, but that Mindset, our thoughts, our feelings, how we react to them and process them, and our true desires are the golden key to authenticity and happiness. This brought the clarity I needed that mind, body and soul all need to be aligned to live your best life and set me down my own path to expansion.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.elevateyoucoach.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elevateyoucoach/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ElevateYouCoach
- Other: If you’d like to join our private community of like-minded women where I hold free trainings and events, you can find us here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/elevateyoucoach
Please answer the questions so I can get to know you better!
Image Credits
Kelley Anne Photography, Reba Shapiro
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
