Meet Laura Gabayan

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Laura Gabayan. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Hi Laura, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?

I am a tenacious person and never give up. I am a Middle Eastern female Kurd, who moved to the United States at 6 years old. Part of my resilience comes from being brought up feeling invisible, and not important. So as an adult, I have done everything in my power to be important to the world. This is why I believe that in life, you are a warrior and not a victim.

I am also a positive person, who looks at the bright side of things. Despite my physical challenges that began in 2013 and that turned my medical career upside down, I decided to persevere and give back to mankind. My condition was a gift that led me to create The Wisdom Research Project, interview 60 “wise” adults, and write the book “Common Wisdom: 8 Scientific Elements of a Meaningful Life” (2024).

Through this game-changing experience, I realized that life can throw many obstacles your way that you cannot control. What you can control is how you view those obstacles. I firmly believe that things don’t happen to you, but they happen for you.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I am a physician researcher/scientist that was publishing extensively in academic journals. Then in 2013 my body started to fall apart, and I started to experience my own health challenges. This is when I realized that people wanted a cookie cutter diagnosis or a label for my condition instead of thinking outside the box. I realized that the only people who looked at life with a wider lens were the “wise.” So I researched wisdom and noticed that all the information we have about it was anecdotal and subjective. This ah-ha moment is when I shifted my focus, and decided to study wisdom scientifically.

I created the Wisdom Research Project and scientifically defined wisdom as 8 elements: Resilience, Kindness, Positivity, Spirituality, Humility, Tolerance, Creativity, and Curiosity. I then realized that these elements not only define wisdom, but they serve as the secret ingredients to mastering life and living with more joy, meaning, and peace. I put the findings of my project and a description of the elements in my new book, “Common Wisdom.”

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

The top 3 qualities that that have been most impactful for my journey include: 1. Determination, 2. Perspective and 3. Humility.

1. Determination – The first quality is determination. The famous saying of “When there is a will, there is a way” is true. I never took no for an answer. I never gave up. If something was considered “hard” or “impossible”, that made me view it as an obstacle that had to be overcome. I would prove the nay-sayers wrong.

2. Perspective – The second quality was perspective. There were many times along my journey that I was sad, upset, and disappointed. Yet, I knew that these emotions would not help me move forward and they would not serve me. This is when I would put them aside and keep my focus on the outcome. Having the perspective that “things can be worse” reminded me to have gratitude instead of resentment.

3. Humility – The third quality was humility. The most important component in life is connection to others, and it is humility that can strengthen relationships. Humility not only is a sign of emotional intelligence and a consideration of others, it’s a marker of kindness and a realization that absolutes don’t exist. When interacting with others, there will always be a person with more qualities than you imagined, such as wealth, expertise, and knowledge. Being humble shows that you have that bigger perspective, and are open to insights from others. It does not make you feel big to make another feel small.

Alright, so before we go we want to ask you to take a moment to reflect and share what you think you would do if you somehow knew you only had a decade of life left?

My body continues to be limited. I have weakness and lack control of my muscles. I am unable to walk and do a lot of what we all take for granted. Although I know the cause of this is chronic Lyme disease, I have done everything in my power to heal and have not improved. So all I can do is be grateful that this condition did allow me to change course in life, write my book and live in faith, not in fear. I know that one day I will get better, and I am now focused on helping others by sharing insights from my study and book, “Common Wisdom.”

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Image Credits

In order of photos: Phil Cass Photography (Images 1-4), Book Cover (Dr. Laura Gabayan), Dr Laura on FOX 11 (Liz H Kelly, Goody PR), Psychology Today, and FOX News At Night, Want More Happiness, Peace and Success? (LauraGabayan.com)

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