Meet Lauren Permenter

We were lucky to catch up with Lauren Permenter recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Lauren, thank you so much for agreeing to open up about a sensitive and personal topic like being fired or laid-off. Unfortunately, there has been a rise in layoffs recently and so your insight and experience with overcoming being let go is relevant to so many in the community.

I worked an entire decade at a local community mental health agency. I loved my job as a therapist, loved to bear witness and support client’s growth and emotional healing and later loved supervising newer therapists. It also simultaneously felt “safe” compared to my friends and family who do freelance work. I naively thought I’d never have to worry about suddenly losing a job because I’d chosen the safe route of W2 employment. I emphasize the “entire decade” because it is a huge chapter of my life, so when I was in fact suddenly informed that I would no longer have a job it felt like my whole world was crashing around me. The security and safety had been an illusion. My entire team was being let go with only a month’s notice. In one month I would need to grieve that 10 year chapter of my life and figure out what the hell I was going to do to pay bills. Totally doable in a month, right?! I had built up a reputation in my time at the agency with other nonprofits and soon offers were coming in for supervisor positions elsewhere. But something didn’t feel right. This sudden push into the unknown made me realize how much I was yearning for something different. I had the space to reflect and in doing so discovered that I had been growing stale. While I loved supervising and supporting newer clinicians, I desperately missed doing direct client work myself. And I knew I wanted to do it my own way and on my own terms, focusing on client care and not bureaucracy as so much of agency work forces you to do. I decided to start my own private practice but did so with hesitation and with some belief that it would be temporary. I told myself, just do this part time while you figure out next steps, but by the end of the year I had a full private practice and a clear understanding that these were the next steps. This was my next chapter. Of course this little write up makes it seem easy. It skips the periods where I cried in the shower, it skips the hassle of figuring out unemployment, it skips the odd jobs I took on as I built up a practice, it skips the rumination and the what if anxious thoughts, it skips the time I did apply to a job (one with summers off! One I know wasn’t right for me and I had simply considered because of those summers off!) only to be rejected. It also skips the friends who sat with me while I thought aloud about what I should do with my life. It skips the mentors in private practice who helped me get started and told me I could do it even when I doubted that I could. It skips over all the pain and all the ways that being vulnerable in speaking honestly about where I was and how I was doing were integral to actually forging a path forward that was right for me. I could have easily remained shell shocked and took the first job offer that was given to me. Instead I confronted the fear of failure, allowed others to hear my hopes and took a risk at doing something with no safety net. Because I’d learned there never was one! I sometimes hike up to a peak in Griffith Park and look out at Los Angeles and think to myself how fortunate I am that I got laid off and pushed into the unknown, how fortunate that the one job I did apply to rejected me. Now I am self employed and in a field that I love and I decide how my day should look. I sit in awe that I get paid to do the work I love with clients who are so interesting and bravely vulnerable and when they too are pushed into an unknown I know the deep grief and fear that comes with job loss but I also know the exciting changes that can come on the other end.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I have lived in Los Angeles for 20 years and feel incredibly humble to be a part of the rich mosaic that is this city. It’s artists and musicians, immigrants and first gen individuals, entrepreneurs, first responders, educators, writers, Film & TV creators and small business owners. People whose job requires that they be public facing and people who find ways to avoid the public altogether. Every day offers a chance to encounter someone who is doing something a little off the beaten path. It’s a city that welcomes outside of the box thinking and behaving. I am so fortunate to have clients who represent all of those different pieces of the mosaic, which means every day is different for me. I may spend a good part of my week sitting in the same office but every hour is unique. I’ve always been fascinated by humans and feel that stories and storytelling are a huge part of how we make sense of our human experience. When I start with a new client, I’m starting a new story.

I’ve been a therapist for nearly 15 years and prior worked as a case manager in a shelter for unhoused youth where much of my work was holding space. This means for 20+ years I’ve been honored to bear witness to people’s most taboo and complicated inner thoughts, feelings and experiences. I have truly heard it all, and yet continue to hear more because no one person is the same. My years of experience means that I pull from different modalities when working with clients, depending on the specific need, but mostly what I’ve learned is that so much of healing is speaking aloud and sharing the shame you’ve held by yourself.

Now in addition to seeing clients directly in my private practice, I continue to support new therapists by providing clinical supervision, conducting trainings and providing consultation for community mental health agencies.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

I have always loved stories and reading novels is one of my preferred ways to experience different inner worlds, to gain empathy for someone from an entirely different background, for building the ability to imagine another person’s experience. I think all therapists should engage in some form of exposure to storytelling and art as it keeps the most important parts of the therapeutic tools sharp, the human capacity for listening and learning without judgement, for understanding a thought process that is different from your own and constant curiosity.

Starting a private practice requires a whole other host of business skills that aren’t taught to therapists in graduate school. The biggest is confronting imposter syndrome and the belief in trial and error. I once moved to Santiago, Chile without a job and found work by posting signs up advertising private English language lessons. I did so during one of my first days in town, completely jet lagged and unsure of how a business could really work. It was naive, sure, but it worked! I still remember the first call. Someone really found my sign, wrote down the number and reached out! The idea that this happened was such an aha moment! The first step of putting up those signs was so simple and yet so powerful. It just required confidence and a reminder that through trial and error you can build the business. Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Do it jet lagged and while still unsure of yourself and then figure out the rest of it later.

Finally support! I continue to seek out consultation and clinical guidance. I have mentors that provide feedback and guidance. Surround yourself with smart people and be a constant learner.

Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?

I’m always looking to connect with other therapists, psychiatrists or nurse practitioners, yoga instructors, primary care physicians, somatic healers and others that do adjunctive work to the therapy I provide. It is helpful to refer clients to someone I’ve met personally because I prefer to be confident in the names I provide.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.laurenpermenterlcsw.com/