Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Lauren Weiss. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Lauren , we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hops that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
This is such an important question! I’ve never really discussed my mental health over any platform before so I’m excited to dive into this!
To preface this I want to say I’m very grateful to be where I am now, especially given some of the struggles I’ve had with mental health. I’m no stranger to anxiety and depression. As a creative individual that isn’t entirely unusual. I learned how to befriend my anxiety and depression through curiosity. Unconventional- I know.
I think what has really helped me with learning about my struggles with mental health has been having curiosity. I believe in cycles. I think there are certain things that repeat themselves in our lives through different contexts and situations to help us learn more about ourselves, which is maybe why I became so curious in the first place.
My first experience with anxiety and depression was when I was 8. I was diagnosed with ADD in the second grade and my parents were advised to try a medication on me to see if that would help me in school. While medicated, my focus improved, but my entire personality was lost with it and lead me to feel like a shell of myself. When the side effects of the medication didn’t let up, my parents didn’t think it was worth it to my well being any more to continue using it.
In high school I had periods of high functioning anxiety, which manifested itself through eating disorders. I would wake up at 5 am, work out, go to school- Incarnate Word Academy in Saint Louis, the best school in the world I should add- come home. and then run 8 miles. This was my daily routine. I wouldn’t eat large portions and I would not eat anything that came in a package. I was obsessed, I kept a binder of my progress, of what I was eating, my measurements etc. This is when I realized I might have OCD. In addition to this, my blood pressure was consistently low from over-exercising. I would pass out daily, and eventually had an MRI done on my brain to make sure there wasn’t anything contributing to my fainting spells. My senior year I was diagnosed with a mild case of Chiari Malformation, a condition where your brain doesn’t rest properly in your skull.
After high school I let loose in college, partied a lot. dated a bit until I found myself in an unhealthy relationship and before I knew it I had been re-acquainted with my depression, and this time it came back in full swing. I could barely get out of bed, it was a struggle for me to find the motivation to leave my dorm to go to class. I was overwhelmed and not handling it well.
I found that moving, like getting up and running helped. It helped me feel better about myself. When I could control what I was eating it felt like I was safe guarding myself physically, even if I couldn’t mentally. During my sophomore year of school I switched majors to art. Before I was in science, and then theater. I loved performing and I loved science, but ultimately found. myself in art.
After college I moved across the country with my fiancé (now husband) and felt isolated and alone. I struggled being in a new environment, and feeling like I had a solid support system. I was really trying to make my way in the world, then the pandemic happened.
When I was little I had two obsessions: drawing and the ocean. I loved the ocean so much and was always trying to plan my life around how I could live near to the water, or at the very least travel with regularity to the ocean. Drawing allowed me to have the space to brain dump. I could get whatever was in my mind out and down on something and it felt like I was in my own world.
This is a long way of saying that curiosity and play for me go hand in hand. I know that life is short and that it goes by so fast. I always try to keep myself curious, and surrounded by things that I know without fail can make me happy. through these experiences that seemed to come cyclically I came to realize there is really only so much responsibility that external situations or individuals can have on my well-being. when I began thinking about this more it helped me to identify my “triggers”. When I examined these feelings and reactions I had further, I kind of went down this path of understanding how my emotions and mental symptoms manifest themselves physically and further more, how I could, physically, help to heal myself.
I also have to acknowledge that being in an environment that speaks to you really helped me. For me, water is crucial to my mental health. growing up landlocked I was obsessed with the ocean, with being in the sun. Now I’m so fortunate to be based in SoCal, where the ocean is a mile away. When I am stressed or overwhelmed I go towards the water. When I’m in the ocean, everything in my mind stops. I can just be. I’m always careful, but I’m never worried about what is going on outside of the water. It supports me so naturally in a way I can’t even begin to explain. I guess that is why I want to work so hard to give back to it. It’s always been there for me. It’s almost a meditative otherworldly thing to be completely immersed in an element. It’s healing and spiritual. On my hard days, I go to the ocean and I meditate, rolling with the waves, imaging all of my stress and worries getting carried away from me, and when I can’t make it to the ocean, I imagine my anxiousness washing away down the shower drain.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the incredible support systems I have here in SoCal, the Midwest, and the East Coast. I have so many people that have carried me through that time, not to mention countless hours at art museums (my second most preferred place to be on a hard day), in each location. I owe these individuals so much for being imperative to me and my life. With these people in my life, the goof times have certainly outweighed the bad. Thank you.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
How do I sum up what I do haha? To start I suppose I should say that I am a small business owner. Pathos.Co, or alternatively Pathos Collective, came about in 2021 after seeing tons of trash on one of the nicest beaches in Southern California. I was so frustrated, I knew I had to do something about it. I started pocketing beach trash to incorporate into art pieces, which then turned into pottery, which then evolved into a photography business with the occasional offerings of paintings and pottery. With each sale and session booked I donate a portion of that profit to a social justice cause or to fight climate change.
I think what excites me most right now is that I built this myself. I worked so hard to pinpoint what specifically it was that I wanted to do with my life. I knew that I always wanted to work around or in the ocean that was a given, but I didn’t go to school for that. I went to school for art, and I struggled for a long time to utilize those skills in a way that felt rewarding and profitable let alone genuine to myself. On top of that, I was watching the world shut down, wars erupt, governments collapse, and more concerning the fragile ecosystems that we rely on to live get raped for all the resources they have, ultimately fast tracking us down a terrifying path. I was so scared and frustrated with the world and not finding artistic success that my next thought was activism because I figured fighting for something I care about is a better use of my time than being paralyzed by artistic failure in a studio. I was Scared for sure!
It’s funny how when I finally let go of the expectations I had for myself and allowed room for that curiosity and play, the doors for opportunity opened. When the day came that I had the idea for Pathos.Co, I never thought that I would actually be where I am now. I currently am doing photography for a number of incredible clients, with opportunities to do underwater photography with ocean conservation organizations, to paintings for private clients, and pottery to individuals at markets or in stores along the South Bay! I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge my support systems. Im so lucky to have family and friends in my corner from the West coast, the Midwest, to the East Coast. I’ve met some really incredible people who have been crucial in my founding of my small business. To every individual who has supported me in the last few years, thank you SO much. I know I always say I’m grateful, but I am Beyond Grateful.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
For me what immediately comes to mind are Empathy, Gratitude, and Introspection.
These skills or qualities can certainly be learned and are absolutely useful no matter what field you’re in. For me, I’ve always been very grateful. I am beyond fortunate to have this incredible life. I’ve accomplished a lot in 27 years here! I went to college and graduated early with a masters, I’ve exhibited art all over the country, traveled all over the world, Ive seen healthy thriving coral reefs in their prime, I sang in Rome at the Vatican on New Years day, I’ve been published and I’m living a life I’ve always envisioned for myself with a family and a husband and friends who love me! I’m incredibly lucky, but its not lost on me that these opportunities are not always afforded to people. I think my introspection has allowed me to be both grateful and empathetic, and has allowed me to learn and unlearn a lot of things, and maybe that is why I am so passionate about activism through what I care about.
As a kid I used to be so emotional because I knew that I couldn’t singlehandedly carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I went to catholic school and each day before class we would have special intentions, and my intentions were never for myself; usually they were for the homeless or the disabled or people in prison, the type of people we are always so quick to judge or disregard. Now that I’m older, I’ve created a way to actually do something about it. I’m definitely no saint but I the combination of introspection, empathy, and gratitude helps me not only to hold myself accountable but to help other people too. Opportunity for some people very much falls in their lap, kind of like it did for me. For other people, they don’t always have that and if I can contribute even just a little bit, I want to. I think having a big heart is both a blessing and a curse but I feel fortunate to be alive in a time where people are starting to realize it’s important to recognize the dignity in each individual regardless of the differences we may have.
My advice for further harnessing the qualities would be to start with making a list and cataloguing all of the things big and small that you’re grateful for, I do this often and it helps to hold me accountable, and to recognize that I am very fortunate. It also helps me to recognize the duality of my privilege, and allows me to actually contribute where I can in ways that are more than just “thoughts and prayers”. Being in tune with yourself in terms of gratitude to me is kind of like a fast pass to empathy and introspection, ultimately helping us recognize that the world doesn’t just exist for us as individuals. There are people and places who are struggling, they aren’t burdens. Just because they’re out of sight sometimes, doesn’t mean it should be out of mind. And with that, keeping a list of what you’re grateful for helps to bring the weight of the world off your shoulders a little bit!
We’ve all got limited resources, time, energy, focus etc – so if you had to choose between going all in on your strengths or working on areas where you aren’t as strong, what would you choose?
I love this question. One of the biggest strengths an individual can have is to acknowledge your weaknesses and work to improve them. Being able to openly discuss areas where we fall short or are outside of our comfort zones is important and frankly courageous. No one is perfect and without acknowledging our weaknesses, we can’t provide ourselves the room to grow. Weakness is what makes us human; accepting that is accepting yourself.
Without sounding like too much of a hippie, having that internal voice allows us to confront our egos and try to understand the root of our shortcomings. For example, I have a hard time enforcing my boundaries. Lately I’ve been learning how to better assert myself; instead of trying to people please constantly, I’m actively working to enforce my boundaries. Especially now as a small business owner, I appreciate when people are straight forward with me. On my end, I try to implement a line of clear and honest communication. I have come to realize that while it’s important to please my clients, I can only do that if I’m not allowing my boundaries to be violated. Additionally, as I have gotten older I’ve come to realize enforcing boundaries is OK! I can’t expect people to know what my boundaries are if I’m not enforcing them. That’s not to say that there aren’t ways to politely enforce boundaries! While it’s important to please clients, at the end of the day I can only do so much and I know I can’t please everybody. It would be naive of me to think that I could! It’s a balancing act; If I’m enforcing my boundaries in place of people pleasing, I want to make sure I am happy and confident in my communication, actions, and delivering the best results I can.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.pathoscollective.com
- Instagram: @____laurent_____
- Other: Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/pathos.co
Image Credits
Lauren Weiss
