Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Laurence Boswell. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Laurence, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is real when starting a business for the first time. I knew I had the skill level to be a professional photographer and offer quality images to my clients, but I felt “bad” for charging a reasonable amount. I didn’t want my potential clients to walk away if I charged them too much. I also didn’t realize what the market price was for most of my services. It took a lot of training with a personal coach to help me find my confidence, which ultimately helped me overcome imposter syndrome. There is a point where I realized that I had put in years of work to master my skill, and that I should charge what is worth my time, no matter if the client were to walk away or not. Once I understood that, I was able to see myself differently.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I’m a professional male boudoir photographer, offering sessions that help men feel confident, sexy, and positive about their bodies. I started this journey a few years ago when a client of mine wanted a mix between fitness photos and boudoir. We did the session, and I loved it. It was a chance to showcase the male figure a little differently, and more sensual than a standard fitness shoot. After that, I realized that there are very few photographers out there that offer any type of boudoir services to males. Boudoir photography is a way to express your sensual side in front of the camera. Boudoir is usually associated with females, dressed either in lingerie or partially nude and photographed in a sensual way. They help her to feel empowered, sexy, and more confident in their skin. The truth is, men have just as many body image concerns and insecurities as women, it is just less socially acceptable for men to talk about them. Male boudoir photography is an incredible way for men to empower themselves.
I grew up in a very conservative home, with a religion that shamed body sexuality. Sex was not a topic that I often talked about with my parents, and if it was brought up, it would be very surface level. In addition, any type of sexual acts, outside the realms of marriage, were deemed “lustful and sinful.” If a woman wore a two piece bathing suit, or bikini, it was looked down upon because it would illicit men to have “bad thoughts.” If you thought about anybody in a sexual way, you were expected to disregard those thoughts as soon as possible. If you thought about yourself in a sexual way, then you were deemed selfish.
In addition to all of this, I also grew up as a very skinny person. I weighed on average 130 pounds for most of high school and in college, which was very slim for my height. I hated the way I looked. I would look at other men who were bigger, stronger, had more muscle than me, and be jealous. All the commercials and advertisements on TV had buff men. If you weren’t buff, then you were weak. Not to mention the pressures of American culture continuously telling men to “toughen up,” and “not show emotion,” was also degrading. I often felt trapped in a body that I did not like, and with a perspective of sexuality that was very shallow and close minded.
As time went on, and I discovered more about myself, and what I believe instead of what others wanted me to believe, I realized the beauty of human sexuality, and human bodies. I learned to love myself and my body for what it is, and that’s why I want to help others learn the same. It doesn’t matter what size you are, if you’re skinny or buff, I want to break the toxic masculine walls down and create a safe space for anyone who wants to embrace their body and sexuality.
It’s okay to appreciate your body, in fact, you should love your body. Men have been put into a lot of boxes over the years with the pressures of society, religion, and family culture. Male boudoir lets you step out of those boxes and create something for yourself. A safe space that you can express yourself, however you want to express yourself. It allows you to be appreciative of what you have, and to showcase that on camera. Whether you’re wanting to portray a more sensual and sexy side of yourself, or a more down to earth loving side of yourself, it does not matter. Male boudoir is a chance for me to photograph your true self, no matter your size or sexual orientation. A chance to see yourself in a new light, from a new perspective. A chance to have a safe space to explore, express, and cherish who you are.
My male boudoir sessions are about 2 hours long, and gives men the opportunity to get to know themselves and their body in an intimate way. I’ve seen many clients walk in so nervous and anxious, and walk out proud and confident. Male boudoir is all about empowering men of all shapes, sizes, and sexual orientations.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
As a professional photographer, here are three skills that helped me launch my business and keep it running full time:
1) Being approachable, and being myself. I’m not a salesy person, I don’t like trying to convince people they should buy from me. Instead, I present myself on social media in a way that is inviting and showcases my work. When people are interested, they generally reach out to me and I make sure to respond in a timely manner, and never pushing my services onto anyone.
2) Networking and marketing are key if you want a successful photography business. You have to get yourself out there, and constantly. Talk to other business owners, make friendships, post regularly on social media sites, and educate your audience on your services.
3) Treat your clients like royalty. You want to make sure that each client walks away feeling good about the services they purchased from you. Make them feel important and be personable. Having proper social skills can go a long way as a business owner.
For those who are early in their journey, my best advice is to just start doing and stop thinking. A lot of early entrepreneurs brainstorm idea after idea, planning how they’re going to start their business, etc, but rarely start acting on it. Start acting and then refine as you go.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
It’s really easy to get burnt out or overwhelmed when running your own business. It’s not easy to always manage clients, or get yourself out there. The number one thing I realized, no matter what stage you are at, is to take breaks and treat yourself. Take a short vacation, go get a massage, take yourself out for ice cream. Whatever makes you happy, do it. When I first started my business I felt like I couldn’t take time away from my business, I felt like I needed to constantly look for new clients. If I wasn’t available for a day or two, I was afraid of missed opportunities. What ends up happening is that you run yourself down to the ground, and then you aren’t as efficient in your work. So, take a step back, give yourself some love, and take a day off when things get too overwhelming. You will be able to face your challenges with a breathe of fresh air when you return.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.utahmaleboudoir.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/utahmaleboudoir/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/UtahMaleBoudoir
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/utahmaleboudoir
Image Credits
Utah Male Boudoir
