We recently connected with Leigh Matthews and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Leigh , so excited to have you with us today and we are really interested in hearing your thoughts about how folks can develop their empathy? In our experience, most folks want to be empathic towards others, but in a world where we are often only surrounded by people who are very similar to us, it can sometimes be a challenge to develop empathy for others who might not be as similar to us. Any thoughts or advice?
My journey to developing empathy is a mosaic of diverse experiences, professional commitment, and personal evolution. Growing up in Australia’s cultural melting pot, I was exposed to a plethora of cultures from a young age, teaching me about the universal nature of our emotional experiences and laying a firm foundation for my empathy. As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), I naturally delved deep into these experiences, significantly sharpening my empathetic skills. My parents, exemplars of hard work and generosity, instilled in me the value of helping others.
Though I do not subscribe to Catholicism, my education in Franciscan schools significantly developed my emotional intelligence. Their teachings on compassion and my active engagement in voluntary work profoundly shaped my understanding of human connections. My interest in Buddhism, philosophy, and comparative religious studies further deepened my grasp of our shared human experiences—suffering and the quest for happiness. Personal losses have made me acutely aware of life’s fragility, emphasising the need to embrace our common humanity.
My engagement in student activism, advocating for women’s rights, opposing war, and supporting LGBTQ rights, has deeply rooted my empathy in a passion for human rights and equality. This commitment to justice remains a driving force in my life, compelling me to actively and vocally oppose injustice whenever I encounter it.
A retreat year with my spiritual teacher, engaging with the compassionate essence of the Tibetan Bodhisattva White Tara, and an encounter with the ‘hugging saint’ Amma, reinforced the value of compassion in my life. Practices like mindfulness, loving-kindness, and self-compassion have expanded my empathetic perspective.
My professional path in psychology, with extensive experience across various sectors – twin research, a psychiatric hospital, an AIDS council, a cancer care unit, and two decades in private practice – has deepened my compassion for people from all walks of life. Witnessing the vulnerability of therapy clients, no matter their socioeconomic status or cultural background, has impressed upon me fundamental human similarities, the desire we all have to love and be loved.
Personal hurdles, including navigating mental health challenges in my mid-20s and adapting to life in Spain in my late 30s, have granted me a deeper insight into the emotional complexities of human suffering and the unique complexities of migration. Becoming a mother has brought forth further dimensions of empathy. Leading a team of therapists in a group practice over the last six years has accelerated my personal growth, confronting me with varied challenges and insights and continually expanding my empathy.
Empathy is a core component of excellent therapeutic skills, compassionate and wise leadership, and a deep connection to shared humanity. It is a gift and something to be promoted in all contexts of human endeavour.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
In the vibrant heart of majestic Barcelona, I established Therapy in Barcelona as a solo practice shortly after I arrived from Australia in 2011. My vision was to create a sanctuary for internationals like me, addressing expats’ unique emotional and psychological challenges.
By 2018, the demand for my services encouraged me to expand to a group practice. I saw the need for an effective, culturally attuned, accessible service in English and multiple languages. A key aspect of my approach has been assembling a remarkable team as varied and dynamic as our clientele. Like our clients, each therapist at Therapy in Barcelona is an expat, and each therapist comes with a unique personality, cultural and language tradition, therapeutic style, and experience. This offers diverse therapeutic approaches and lets us personalise our service for each client.
The availability of therapy in English, coupled with the therapists’ understanding of expatriate life, positions Therapy in Barcelona as a distinctive provider of culturally sensitive and accessible mental health services for internationals in Barcelona or around the world. Over time, Therapy in Barcelona has grown into more than just a clinic; it has become a hub of support, understanding, and growth for the international community in Barcelona, for its clients and therapists alike.
My leadership style blends vision with collaboration. I strive to set a clear direction while valuing each team member’s ideas, strengths, and professional trajectory. This approach has fostered an environment where therapists feel empowered, and clients receive care uniquely tailored to them.
Leading a team in the delicate mental health field in a foreign country can be challenging. I have worked to balance the various therapeutic approaches whilst maintaining our ethos of compassionate, client-centred care of the highest standard and ethics. The true reward has been in the stories of international individuals and families who have found support and growth through our services.
My journey has been surprising, moving from the antipodes of Australia to the Mediterranean coast of Barcelona, Spain. It has also been humbling, evolving from solo practitioner to guiding a large team at Therapy in Barcelona. My journey is less about the centre’s success and more about embracing empathy, compassion, mindful leadership and humanity. Each day is a learning experience in service and support, helping my team grow and make a meaningful impact on the international community, one individual at a time.
As Therapy in Barcelona expands, I stay dedicated to navigating the evolving challenges in mental health and expatriate experiences. In today’s digital age, I am mainly focused on advocating for therapist-led mental health services. The rise of technology-driven therapy platforms, often spearheaded by tech entrepreneurs rather than experienced therapists, presents significant concerns. These platforms sometimes overlook the core principles of therapy, risking the ‘uberization’ of mental health services and potentially compromising the quality of care. As therapy increasingly moves into the digital and metaverse realms, I aim to be part of a critical global dialogue. This discussion is about embracing technological advances, safeguarding the essence of therapeutic practice, and maintaining professional integrity.
I aim to ensure that as we step into these new frontiers, the human element of therapy – its empathy, ethical standards, and personal connection – remains at the forefront.
Stay tuned for an exciting, therapist-led digital offshoot of Therapy in Barcelona in the coming year.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Reflecting on my journey, aside from my empathy, the three most impactful qualities that have shaped my path are courage, persistence, and curiosity.
Courage: It was essential to start my first solo practice in Australia, to marry my native Catalan husband and move from Australia to Barcelona and to take the initial steps to expand Therapy in Barcelona into a group practice and face the challenges of leading an international team of therapists. It’s been about daring to step professionally and personally outside of my comfort zone. For those starting their journey, my advice is to cultivate bravery. Embrace risks and be open to the unfamiliar. Courage grows with each new challenge faced, so don’t shy away from opportunities that might seem intimidating.
Persistence: This quality has been crucial in overcoming the inevitable hurdles and setbacks. Whether navigating the unfamiliarity of a new culture and challenges of being a migrant in Barcelona, establishing the practice in a society where I had zero connections, enduring the ups and downs of running my own business, dealing with the natural difficulties of transitioning to becoming a leader or navigating my team through the uncertainty and fear of a pandemic, persistence has been vital. For newcomers, persistence is less about relentless force and more about steady, continued effort. Learn to view setbacks as opportunities to grow and refine your approach. Focus on your “Why’ and be your own steadfast ally when the going gets rough. Self-belief, self-compassion and having a compass of solid values are foundational to pushing through.
Curiosity: My curiosity drove me to explore different cultures and therapeutic methods and to learn and adapt continuously. This quality fuels innovation and adaptability. To those early in their career, I recommend nurturing a mindset of lifelong learning. Be curious about your field, about the world, and about the stories of the people you meet. Curiosity opens doors to new knowledge, skills, and experiences.
In summary, courage, persistence, and curiosity aren’t just innate traits but skills that can be developed. Embrace challenges, persevere through difficulties, and stay curious about the world and the people around you. These qualities will guide you through the early stages of your career and continue to serve you throughout your professional journey.
Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?
One book that profoundly impacted my development was Milan Kundera’s “The Unbearable Lightness of Being.” In it, Kundera explores Nietzsche’s concept of ‘eternal recurrence,’ suggesting that each moment in life occurs only once, making our choices significant yet paradoxically weightless. This idea resonated with me, highlighting the importance of living authentically and embracing the ephemeral nature of existence.
“The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” and Mitch Albom’s “Tuesdays with Morrie” have also been instrumental. Both delve into the fragility of life and the wisdom that understanding death can bring. These books taught me the value of acknowledging life’s transient nature and the richness that comes with this understanding. They encouraged a deeper appreciation of each moment and the importance of living with purpose and intention. One cannot live well unless one understands that living is dying. This is key to investing in creating something bigger than oneself, a legacy and a service for others. “The true meaning of life is to plant trees under whose shade you do not expect to sit.”
The poetry of Mary Oliver, particularly “The Uses of Sorrow” and “The Summer Day,” has been a source of profound insight. Oliver’s reflections on sorrow and nature have inspired me to find value in adversity and embrace the present, encouraging a life of awareness and depth. The Uses of Sorrow, especially, has enabled me to find comfort when I have felt overwhelmed by adversity in life or leadership or my clients’ suffering: “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.” The poem “The Summer Day” fills me with excitement and motivation to carpe diem: “Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
These are just some of the works that have profoundly influenced my approach as both a leader and a psychotherapist, instilling in me a deep appreciation for life’s fleeting moments and its inherent uncertainties. They have taught me to live with purpose, embrace the ephemeral nature of joy, and see the dual aspects of adversity. This understanding has been pivotal in fostering genuine interactions, empathy, courage, and mindfulness in my practice. It has strengthened my resilience and commitment to growth, both personally and in guiding others. These insights have been instrumental in shaping a therapeutic and leadership approach that values each individual’s journey, marked by compassion, presence, and a keen attunement to the complexities of the human experience.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.therapyinbarcelona.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therapyinbcn
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/therapyinbarcelona
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leigh-matthews-8a9877b0/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/therapyinbcn
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvvUvpUP8ueXqg-qSsk9yMg
Image Credits
@lizevansphotography @klik2_by_wendy @therapyinbcn
