Meet Lesli Doares

We recently connected with Lesli Doares and have shared our conversation below.

Lesli, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?

Finding my purpose has been a lifelong journey. As the third daughter born in slightly under 3 years, I long struggled to be seen as an individual in my own right. Constantly being unfavorably compared to my sisters and being a disappointment to both my parents for not being a boy, I learned very early to monitor the behaviors and emotional undercurrents in my family of origin. It led to a fascination with both how the brain works and how people interacted with each other.

This interest and ability was further supported when my parents divorced when I was a teenager. I felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. It impacted my sense of self and reinforced the belief that I was unlovable.

After several years of working in the corporate world, I began the process that would eventually lead to my becoming a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. One of my first clients, a 6-year-old girl who was brought to me for treatment of anxiety, triggered all the baggage from my own childhood. She was effectively the rope in her divorced parents’ tug of war. I realized that if I was to help her, and children like her and myself, I needed to get involved much earlier in the process. This is when I began focusing on marriages.

It became clear to me that very few of us have the understanding and skills to successfully navigate relationships, specifically marriage. It is the most complicated relationship that exists, but it is also the one that can provide the greatest benefit. So my goal is to support those people who truly want to have a deep, connected relationship that lasts.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

One of the things I am most passionate about is supporting men in their marriages. If relationships are to work, we cannot ignore 50% of the population.

I have developed a coaching program that provides men with the knowledge, skills, and support to be the person, partner, and parent they want to be. To create a real legacy of love and a healthy foundation for future generations. Because I am a woman and a wife of almost 40 years, I can provide insider knowledge on what their wives are thinking and wanting. I come at this from a place of believing that most men are good guys who just don’t know what it takes to be a good husband in today’s world.

My brand is based around the popular Marvel Universe and the common desire for men to be seen as heroes in their life stories. My most recent book Hero Husband: How to Make Your Wife (and You) Truly Happy breaks down several “hero” origin stories and uses them to highlight what works and what doesn’t in intimate relationships.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

One of the most important qualities I possess is compassion. I truly believe that there is always a reason why people act the way they do. Most of the time, it is learned behavior that at some point was helpful. Being able to see another without judging them is critical for establishing trust–something I can’t do my job without.

Second, becoming skilled in and continuing to learn about what makes relationships work is essential. Being able to normalize what someone is going through and then providing alternative ways to address these challenges is the path forward.

Finally, I have walked the talk. I come from a divorced family but have successfully navigated marriage and parenthood. I have learned how to accept responsibility for unproductive behaviors and made the concerted effort to change them. I have gotten external support when I have needed it, so I have been, and continue to be, on both sides of the equation.

The best advice I can give to someone starting out is not to do it on your own. Find someone (or a group) who you trust and who will guide you. We cannot see our blind spots. Having someone in your corner, but who will be gently honest with you, is essential.

How would you describe your ideal client?

My ideal client is an analytical man who is successful in his chosen profession and wants that same level of success in his personal life. He is not satisfied with being average. He sees the value in having a coach or mentor who both supports and challenges him. He is someone who understands that the quality of his relationships is essential to both his personal happiness and his legacy.

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