We recently connected with Leslie Elsen and have shared our conversation below.
Leslie , so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
The development of my confidence and self-esteem is definitely a work in progress. The world has developed many ways to tell you that you don’t fit in. I can recall from a very young age, this innate sense of “not-belonging, but also not caring” I didn’t always dress like the other kids. My sense of style was quirky, not-trendy, not matching, and often stood out against a crowd of blue jeans and polo shirts. Incidentally, my 4 year old daughter is the same way, and I am here to lean into it. I didn’t always think or talk like the other kids, even in high school. I was a very quiet kid. I hated slumber parties and would call my mom and pretend like she said I would need to come home. The thing is, as a child I never saw myself as different. It never occurred to me that there was such a thing as “different.” Aren’t we all different. The concept didn’t quite sit with me. Of course I was different. I never understood, to this day do not understand, how judgement is formed over different forms of dress, different ways of speaking, etc. to me the difference is relative to your own experience. My mom did a wonderful job of teaching me, that you are who you are, and anyone that doesn’t like that, doesn’t deserve to be in your life. I’ve carried that with me throughout my life. It’s not easy sometimes, especially when life feels heavy and you experience a breakup, a job rejection, a disappointment on a project. All of which have had an impact on my life and who I am today.
I believe there is a delicate internal balance in improving upon yourself, your patience, your compassion, your rejection of stereotypical tropes. Combing your mind for judgement and holding that judgement in front of you with a microscope and ask yourself why you feel the need to judge this person or opinion. Odds are, many times that judgement stems from an insecurity within or a trauma of the past. My self-esteem has come from my ability to take judgement from others and meet them with compassion to understand that their opinion of me is not a reflection of my character and perhaps a reflection of their own internal needs/desires or a lack of understanding.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
Benedict, my breakfast and lunch restaurant has been my life for the past 4 years. We started the restauraunt in a tiny space at 405 S Union 3 months before COVID hit. We shut down for a couple months and re-opened. Upon re-opening, we experienced immense success and an evident demand for the local, housemade breakfast and lunch we provided, from biscuits to benedicts. In the fall of 2020 we signed a lease to move our location to 237 Lake Street, a larger location with additional offerings such as espresso, mimosas, and an expanded pastry and retail section. We called 237 Lake our home for 2 years. During those two years, we had another baby. We now had two children, who are currently 2 and 4. My husband also joined Benedict after leaving his career in engineering to help with our family business. In the spring of 2023, we came to the very difficult decision to close Benedict while the cards were right. My mom, saw our kids more than we did. The operations, especially with two very demanding children, rightfully so, was pulling us away from the family that we worked to support, and they always come first. Benedict was sort of like my third child, and I miss many aspects of it. I am lucky to have the full support of my staff, who rode it out until the last day. These staff members are some of my best friends, and the best gift that Benedict could have given me.
During the time of Benedict and after, new businesses have sprouted from Benedict’s roots.
Lake Street Coffee Co is our mobile espresso service business. We developed Lake Street Coffee to meet a demand for espresso and brewed coffee catering to complement our brunch catering, and it has taken off. Many of our events are weddings, some graduation parties, and we have popped up at the Farmer’s Market, Farm Club, and Little Fleet. Lake Street has brought us many connections to other businesses in the area doing some incredible work.
Dune Catering is my private chef business offering home catering/meals for special events, dinner parties, etc. you name it. My focus is elevated rustic dishes using seasonal ingredients for parties under 25. I am continually adding new services and menu items, and have a new website in the works, so stay tuned.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Humility Compassion
Patience
Employing humility requires you to reach into yourself and walk right past your ego and say “I do not know everything, and I am willing and open to learn from my experiences and from other people in my life” and as a business owner the best thing you can do is hire people and support people who have skills that you do not. Empower these people, build them up and recognize that they hold something special and they are valued.
Compassion is not just a skill, it is a mindset. Understanding that everyone has lives, challenges, ups and downs and meeting not just your employees, but also yourself, right where. you are. The conversations you have with yourself are just as important, if not more important, than the ones you have with peers, staff members, or industry professionals.
Patience. I’ll admit, this is hard one for me. I am very much a big picture person, and I dive headfirst into projects. Often times, without sorting out the details. It’s backfired many times, but for the most part, I have no regrets. Practice patience by allowing yourself the space to observe how a situation pans out before making any drastic changes. Have patience with staff members who are challenging. I have been known to overdo it. For example, I have had staff members that had many repeated offenses such as attitude or tardiness, and I met them with compassion over and over, and it got to the point where my compassion was being abused. I was aware of it, so that made the decision to let them go easier. I knew in my gut that I had given the situation the benefit of a doubt and met those individuals with kindness first.
I’ll say all of these items require a close contact with your intuition or your gut feeling about a situation. Trust it.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
I love to read. I always have. I would get in trouble in the summer at my grandparents for reading too much, or reading other books in class.
I would say two books that have stood out to me as an adult would be:
1. Atomic Habits
2. Dream First Details Later
Atomic habits is a delightfully easy read. Some of the key takeaways are employing techniques in your daily life to allow you to easily live the life that matches up with the life you “want to live.” Make it easy and available if you want to do it. Make it hard to reach and challenging if you don’t want to do it.
For example, if you want to start eating better. Put all the healthy snacks in portioned containers in your fridge at the front. You want to eat less junk food, put it on the top of your cabinets, so if you want those potato chips, you need to get the step stool to get them.
Atomic habits also mentions a consciousness of the influences that you allow in your life. Who are you following on social media? What ends up in your inbox? What netflix shows are streaming in front of you? James Clear, the author, calls for a consciousness of the content that we permit into our lives. If it doesn’t make you a better person, or call you to act or think in a way that matches your personal goals or how you see yourself, then it’s not worth allowing it to live rent-free in your mind. Unfollow that toxic person, unsubscribe to the fast fashion emails or subscribe to content that teaches you about the world, find accounts that educate or challenge social norms, you get the idea.
Dream First Details Later, written by Ellen Bennett, of Hedley and Bennet was also a quick read. It was very affirming for me, and I aligned with the mindset and methodology discussed in her book. It’s been a minute since I have read this book, but I can say it will propel you forward towards your goals and dreams. This book helped me to work through some insecurities and challenges and to face them full on with confidence that it would work out the way it was supposed to.
Contact Info:
- Website: dunecatering.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dunecatering/
- Facebook: facebook.com/dunecateringmi
