Meet Lilian Li

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Lilian Li. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Hi Lilian, so happy to have you on the platform and I think our readers are in for a treat because you’ve got such an interesting story and so much insight and wisdom. So, let’s start with a topic that is relevant to everyone, regardless of industry etc. What do you do for self-care and how has it impacted you?

In my creative block, I started Julia Cameron’s The Artist Way, which encourages creatives to journal as Morning Pages and take themselves on an Artist Date. I’ve also been learning to be more compassionate with myself through reading self-help books, going on long walks, and giving myself rewards for every bit of progress I make, such as a boba drink for writing three chapters! It’s funny how much more effective I am when I am not pushing myself so hard to produce and be perfect!

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

Hi! I am a self-published author with two bestselling young adult contemporary romance novels (yay!): House of Koi, a coming-of-age story about a girl’s identity and her relationship with her grandmother, and Duet Me Not, a sports romance about synchronized swimming and perfectionism. What’s most rewarding is receiving messages from people who have cried at my stories, who felt seen and heard, who learned a little more about love and loving themselves, who finally found a character like them.

I write stories to represent more Malaysian culture that I wish I had growing up, but I’ve been enjoying working on a new romantasy novel that I hope can inspire courage in people who are afraid of the unknown (like me!). Please follow along @lilianofli on social media or Substack for future updates!

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Looking back, I miss my courage and excitement for the unknown. I fear that if I had an inkling of the downsides that are bound to happen, I might not have been as brave. So first, I would say an important quality is to hold onto a sense of fearlessness! The second quality is to build a community, so the journey won’t be so lonely as you might think; you’d be surprised to find support and hope from people who have gone through the same trials and came out stronger. As well as learning to be better at asking for help to have work critiqued. Third, for a writing career, I would advise reading and researching widely to build up your voice and writing skills.

Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?

Oh, I have so many books that have played an important role in my life, but one that I just finished is called The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler. The first page of the first chapter already stabbed me in my heart, multiple times, to make me realize why I’ve been writing my first chapter thirty times and more.

Some valuable nuggets of the book are learning not to base your worth on your ability to produce when your self-worth comes from simply existing. Perfectionists keep waiting for a better version of ourselves when the only version we have is right now, the only gift we have right now is the present. So, yes, I’m learning how to heal and find joy in creativity again!

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