We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Lindsay Benjamin a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Lindsay, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
I think that this question has multiple layers. The resilience that I have built comes from the struggles I have had to endure throughout my life up to this point at least. You tend to build a layer of confidence and self esteem each time you go through a hardship, because you have an experience which tests you and could potentially make you uncomfortable. Your first instinct is to run away, but if you stay and let it in, you end up coming out the other side way stronger then you were before and taking in an entirely new set of skills. This helps you deal with any specific types of triggers you may have had in the past.
In my experience it also has a lot to do with your outlook on life as well. If you are a glass half full kind of woman like me, then you prefer to lean towards optimism, even through all the bad things. I choose to be resilient because it’s the only way I know how to be. I was taught to survive and find solutions in my life because I did not have the luxury of another option. I’m a spiritual person and believe that some people are tested more than others, and it can feel like you are getting muddied constantly, but it’s how you react that makes or breaks your reality. I’m resilient because I choose to live my life by taking the challenges as come and making the best of the situations I am faced with.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I am a singer/lyricist and songwriter. I started out in musical theater as a child into late teens, but grew to love the band scene. I’ve always been a writer and growing up would write plays, or songs, or something similar to a journal entry about my feelings. Around 16 writing my own music became more prominent. I started seeking out musicians and producers who could help me develop my sound. There were and are still tons of bumps in the road, but over the years I’ve been lucky enough to perform at some legendary venues in Manhattan. I’ve also been a part of film/commercial and tv productions as well. While minimal roles, they were amazing experiences. In March of this year I released a new EP called ‘Back From The Dead’, and just performed my EP release show in NYC recently. I currently reside in South Florida and have some amazing opportunities on the way that I will announce soon.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
It is important to be open to being taught. You may think you have all the answers, but you do not. Improvement happens at all ages. Most of us have different experiences that shape us throughout our lives, so our growth patterns are different. You can have a 45 year old who still acts like they are 20, and then a 25 year old who acts as if they are 50. Staying aware and accountable keeps you in check.
My personal journey was impacted by my choices. I’ve lost out on big auditions and performances due to my lack of responsibility and time management in the past. I felt shame around those losses because they could have been avoided had I made a different decision. Do I regret that they did not happen? No, because maybe they were not supposed too, but it changed my habits, and I’ve never looked back.
My advice would be to learn and develop your skill set, seek out ways to advance your knowledge because that is your superpower, and act on all you have learned and developed. Take opportunities that make sense for you and your brand. You may have to change course, and things may not turn out how you pictured it, but as long as you put forth effort, and do what you need to do, things will absolutely happen for you. Staying focused and having a positive outlook can benefit you in the long run. Don’t lose hope, even if it feels like it’s hard to hold onto it. You never know when your life will completely change.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
Being overwhelmed can be all consuming. It is physical, emotional and mental and can be quite taxing on your soul. Part of being human is to be challenged, and with that anxiety can grow and you can learn things about yourself that you never would have expected to ever happen to you.
When I was younger, I remember sitting on the NYC subway and started to feel that I could no longer breath. I turned to the person sitting next to me and told them that I was not okay and thought I needed help. They looked at me as if I was a nutcase and said nothing and turned away. Thankfully I got out of the subway shortly thereafter and a policeman saw me and helped me walk up the escalator and outside for some fresh air.
That was my first of many horrible panic attacks. It was incredibly powerful what it did to my mind and my body. It was painful and scary to be completely honest. I did a lot of reading, sought out a therapist and tried to hone in on why that happened. Through years of self reflection and a ton of trial and error, I am happy to say I have been able to zoom in on the deeper issues and take control of my own anxiety and it is almost next to none. Anxiety is a lifelong problem for me, but now it’s become manageable.
Everyone handles feeling overwhelmed in different ways. If you are like me then you take on other peoples energy and emotions, and sometimes avoid your own through focusing on “fixing” other peoples problems. Because of this, everything feels heightened to some degree.
I have learned that it is okay to step away and take time to breath and meditate, and then come back to a situation when you are ready and have processed your feelings. It is okay to not want to be friends or in a relationship with someone who causes you more anxiety then ease. It is okay to say no to a social situation, or an event if you know it will cause you to be emotionally strained. What is important to note is that if you decide to constantly avoid and not face your problems head on, you will never grow. You can make choices that are healthier for you, but it is also important to stand up and find the confidence within yourself to say, ‘Hey, I got this! I’m going to get through this and come out on top.’
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_lindsaybenjamin_/?hl=en
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUaFMsd_VWs
Image Credits
Reeves Maddux Photography
