Meet Lisa Febre

We recently connected with Lisa Febre and have shared our conversation below.

Lisa, so many exciting things to discuss, we can’t wait. Thanks for joining us and we appreciate you sharing your wisdom with our readers. So, maybe we can start by discussing optimism and where your optimism comes from?

I am a naturally positive person. I don’t know where it comes from or how it developed, I only know that I’ve always been someone who sees the positive in nearly every situation. For most of my life, that usually meant being optimistic about normal every day things. I’m the rare person who find the Los Angeles gridlock amusing as I creep along with the other cars. But after my cancer diagnosis, it seemed like everything suddenly snapped into sharp focus.

After being told I had metastatic, Stage4 Colon Cancer, what was there to be optimistic about? The statistics are daunting (the 5-year survival rate is only 10%) and my doctors were determined to keep me focused on the goal at hand. I felt in my gut that it was possible to be that 1-in-10 person who beats this thing, and my optimism about that never wavered. Even in my darkest moments during chemotherapy and radiation, I could hear my cells telling me, “You’re going to live.”

People ask me that question all the time: where does your optimism come from? And I don’t have an answer. It’s just a part of me, and I can’t help myself. It seems like my first reaction, even to bad news, is always to point out the sunny side. Sure, I have a serious cancer diagnosis, but I have learned to truly live and embrace life because of it. There’s a lot to be thankful for.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I’ve been a musician my entire life–I started piano lessons at the age of 4–and my focus has always been on being a musician. My entire professional musical career was spent as an oboist, playing in orchestras, small groups, and even doing some recording for tv and film. When I was 38, I had an injury that made continuing to play the oboe nearly impossible, so I had to make a choice: take the risk or just try something new. I decided to try something new and began taking cello lessons from a colleague. Within a year I was back to performing, this time on the new instrument. I learned to love performing again, but most importantly not to take my self so seriously.

I’ve always enjoy writing–as a teenager I loved to write stories for myself and articles for our school newspaper. In the early days of the internet when blogging became a thing, I jumped on that and started writing with enthusiasm. But, I never imagined I would write a book. While I was going through cancer treatments, I wrote about what I was feeling or thinking nearly every day. Before I knew it, I had written nearly 70,000 words and thought “What the heck, let’s see if anyone will publish it!” Shockingly, an independent publisher signed me.

Because of my cancer treatments, my music career has had to be put on hold. It’s very frustrating to practice my cello and know I’m not going to be getting on stage any time soon. In the meantime, I’ve been focused on writing–my second book will be released this coming October–and on editing for other authors. I discovered that it’s possible to actually love what I do, whether that is music or writing, and the best part is I don’t have to choose one over the other. I can be anything, and do anything I want!

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

As a musician, I had to become very self-reliant and disciplined. No one needed to tell me to practice, I just knew that if I wanted to succeed, then I needed to put in the hours. Every single day, it was important to do something even if it didn’t feel perfect or productive. Even just playing a few scales was enough. Same with writing. If I can put down even one sentence I’ve accomplished something that day.

I am also a devoted Ashtanga Yoga practitioner. It’s a style of yoga that literally follows the same pattern of poses every single time. Day after day, you do the same thing, much like practicing scales on an instrument. There’s a comfort in repetition–step on the mat and just let your body do its thing. It seems like the perfect compliment to my musical practice, and has paid off in the long run. In many ways, showing up for chemo, even when I didn’t want to have it, is very similar to this.

In the beginning, it can be hard to develop a disciplined practice of anything we want to do in life. But the most important thing is showing up, every single day, to do the work. Some days we may not feel like doing it, but those are the days we learn the most. Carving out time is also really important. I know that every day I am going to step on my yoga mat at 9 am, and I know that I will sit down to practice my cello at 1 pm. I don’t answer phone calls or texts, and I don’t think about anything except what I’m supposed to be doing. Removing distractions and making it clear to ourselves that we are dedicated to spending this time doing a certain activity is probably the most crucial “set-up” for a disciplined practice.

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?

The biggest obstacle I’ve been facing in the past year or so is fear. Not really a fear of failure but a fear of beginning something new. There are so many what-ifs attached to any new endeavor. And my mind can get bogged down in the possibilities. I start to think of all the things I’ll have to do related to the new thing and it’s overwhelming. Better to just not face it all and go back to a comfortable place.

Just when I thought I had a handle of my fear of beginning a writing career, then I was being asked to speak at events to talk about my experience with cancer and to try to encourage other survivors. I stand on stage all the time and perform music, why would public speaking suddenly give me so much anxiety? If I say no to the speaking engagement, I would be closing a door before it ever really even opened the whole way.

Instead of freaking out and hiding away, I decided to say yes to my first speech. I had been seeing a hypnotherapist at my cancer center (to help me cope with the lingering PTSD of cancer) and we talked at great length about my hesitation. We did a session where I was forced to face my fear head on. When I realized that my fear was a roadblock I was placing in front of myself, no one was creating this fear except me, it became clear what I had to do: say yes to the speech and just do it! What was the worst that could happen to me? It might not go well and I won’t want to do it again. Or…it could go really well, I could have fun, and want to do more.

Sure enough, I enjoyed my time in the spotlight and the enthusiasm I felt for doing more of these types of events was surging through me. I took a chance on something new and discovered not only that I loved it, but that I could see myself doing more speeches and reaching even more people.

I haven’t conquered all my fears, but I have learned to take them one at a time.

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