We recently connected with Lois Shih and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Lois , thank you for being such a positive, uplifting person. We’ve noticed that so many of the successful folks we’ve had the good fortune of connecting with have high levels of optimism and so we’d love to hear about your optimism and where you think it comes from.
Delusion.
Kidding! But in all honesty, I think my optimism comes from practice.
I remember not even five months into moving to LA, my ceiling collapsed due to the rain. And mind you, I lived in a small lil studio, so it was beyond terrifying. Other not-so-great things had also happened leading up to “the collapse,” but that particular event was pivotal in driving me to a deep depression. I isolated myself from my friends, stayed home all day, and cried for months.
But I don’t know – call it faith or radical hope, but somehow, in spite of the chaos and feeling the big sad, a small part of me knew that no matter what, this will pass and there will come a day where I will be okay, or at least, feel okay again. And that feeling has always followed me my whole life.
There’s a section in the book Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott, where she quotes E.L. Doctorow. They’re talking about writing, and Doctorow explains how writing is a lot like driving a car at night – you can only see as far as your headlights, and even though it’s dark, even if you can’t see exactly what’s around you, you can still make the entire journey that way – just by seeing the two or three feet in front of you.
I think my optimism comes from the practice of only walking two feet of life at a time.
If I think too far ahead, I’ll be overwhelmed and scared and anxious.
But to have a vision for two feet? Great, got it. To walk two feet? I can do that. Can I crawl? Yes? Perfect.
And maybe today, it’s two feet. Tomorrow, it’s three.
But before you know it, you’ve come 200 feet. And that’s optimism for me.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I am an actor and aspiring lemon tree mother.
I received my MFA in Acting at UC San Diego and moved out to LA shortly afterwards. My career, thus far, has been mostly stage work, but in coming to the city, I’ve been fortunate to pivot and be more involved in film/television projects here and there.
Most recently, I wrapped filming on Goodrich, starring Michael Keaton and Mila Kunis. I think it’ll be in theaters this fall? So, keep your eyes peeled for a familiar face soon!
Oh, and I have yet to raise a lemon tree, BUT am currently a proud mom of four beautiful pilea teenagers.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Dating myself, building intentional community, and blinders.
For a long time, I had a lot of pride in knowing myself. I knew what I wanted, I knew my values, and I had plans. That all blew up when I finished my MFA and moved to the city. The mid-life crisis at 25 is very real, y’all. A lot of what I believed or thought to be true about myself shifted, and everything I thought was familiar, wasn’t. I carried a lot of grief because I felt like I couldn’t find my footing and my inner critics were very harsh. It wasn’t until I started to be much more aggressive in taking care of myself, treating myself with kindness, and giving myself the room to be unsure, where I felt my mindset start to change for the better. I began trying to find my way back to myself – or rather, meet myself in a new way and without expectation. I started going on dates with myself around the city, whether it was to explore a new coffee shop, going on a walk, seeing a movie alone, going to a museum, a garden, volunteering; I learned how to be unafraid to spend time with just me.
And the more I ventured into spaces with myself, I started to discover new interests and get a feel for what things brought me joy or purpose (outside of acting) – which leads me to my second point. Because I was in spaces that I had cultivated intentionally, I started meeting like-minded and wonderful people that shared similar passions and interests. I started making new friends, meeting more people, and soon, I went from going to things alone, to showing up to events and seeing familiar faces all around. By learning how to be comfortable with myself, I also ended up growing a beautiful community too.
Lastly, I think one of the best things we can do for ourselves is to put on some blinders. Like those little thingies horses have so they can’t see sideways, or when you go bowling and they put up the guardrails so your ball doesn’t get off-track. It’s easy to look over and be swept away into what other folks are doing in their lives, their careers, etc.. It’s easy to start comparing your journey to someone else’s, or lean into competition and the scarcity mindset, so it’s incredibly important for me to keep my blinders on. It helps me remember that I’m in my lane, and my story is mine – I’m not behind, I’m not ahead, I’m where I’m supposed to be.
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
They support me. I know that sounds so simple, and like “duh,” but it’s not lost on me how rare it is for two Taiwanese immigrants to wholeheartedly support their kid going into the arts. It’s an unseen burden off my shoulders just knowing that they have my back.
As much as children of immigrants should not have to bear the brunt of their parents’ unfulfilled dreams and desires, I understand why that happens. I have a lot of sympathy for my fellow second generation kids who grow up carrying the hopes and dreams of their family on their backs.
I feel incredibly privileged and grateful that I get to build and create a life that’s solely mine. The biggest thing my parents could do and have done for me is to let me have my own dreams, my own goals, and my own hopes for my life – and I think by stepping fully into those dreams is how I can best honor them.
Contact Info:
- Website: loisshih.com
- Instagram: @whatshihsaid
Image Credits
Gregory Wallace Photography Cameron Whitman Photography, LLC
