We recently connected with Louise Defelice and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Louise, thanks for sharing your insights with our community today. Part of your success, no doubt, is due to your work ethic and so we’d love if you could open up about where you got your work ethic from?
I was raised as the seventh of eight children in Spokane, Washington. My father was a general dentist and orthodontist and my mother was a registered nurse by degree and then a stay-at-home mom. I watched my dad work 6 days a week while also taking emergency calls on evenings and weekends to support our family. My mom was “mother extraordinarre” at home, while also following her calling as a teacher of Natural Family Planning on evenings and weekends as her familly grew. I never remember my parents watching TV or sitting down before 10:00 pm every night. They also never complained. My mom worked tirelessly to provide homemade nutritious meals around the clock, from homemade bread to cooking our meat for lunch meat for sandwiches. They’d be in the kitchen each night making 9 lunches since none of our small Catholic schools provided hot lunches. We were raised to be faithful to God, humble in spirit and action, and to always consider other’s needs and feelings in addition to our own. They devoted their lives to the education and well-being, well-roundedness of all 8 of us children. The example set for me was second to none.
I was never pushed to achieve good grades but did so out of pride for myself and the desire to have a life and education where I could provide for myself for my lifetime. Education was always our priority as a family. I knew if I was disciplined and worked hard in life, it would serve me well no matter which direction I chose in life. I went on to being accepted to the University of Washington School of Dentistry after 3 years of undergraduate education, while working weekends waitressing tables, at a local Italian restaurant. I did and still do believe that working is a privilege. Being of service to others has always brought me happiness. Working hard, I can use my gifts to make a small difference for myself and others every single day.
My dear daughter Rachel, born with autism, apraxia, and intellectual disability also inspires me endlessly. From the age of 2 years old, she participated in intensive ABA (applied behavior analysis) therapy in our home for about 35 hours per week for years. It was years of very difficult therapy for her, and for us as a family, to even recognize her name or to follow a simple instruction such as “stand-up” or “sit-down.” Rachel faces great difficulties and challenges in her day-to-day life for the most simple of tasks. Others include sound and light sensitivities, the inability to communicate verbally (leading to frustration), lack of interest in activities leading to boredom, lack of friends and recreation activities, no employment opportunities, and physical problems from inactivity that cause her pain. The effort required for her to function in the world each day inspires me to not take my abilities and gifts for granted. Rachel works harder and is more resilient than anyone I know. And she’s usually smiling. I always want to work to my greatest capabilities, both for myself and for others who depend on me, like Rachel.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I followed in my father’s footsteps into family dentistry, joining his practice with him for 15 years before his retirement. I continued the family dental practice for another 10 years before retiring from clinical dentistry. As a professional trying to balance owning and operating a growing and successful dental practice, having 3 other children and Rachel, struggling with a contentious divorce, childcare difficulties, assisting aging parents, health challenges of my own, a new marriage, and managing Rachel’s special needs across these 25 years as a practicing dentist was exceedingly difficult. There are no words to describe the endless day-to-day battle I endured just for the privilege of taking care of my patients each day and putting food on the table for my family. It was 2 decades of immense struggle and sacrifice. I was able to transition the practice to a point where I could retire and make a pivot in my life. Retired. now for 4 years, I found myself greatly missing the satisfaction I receive from helping others. I founded a Non-Profit in 2024 in honor of my daughter, Rachel. As mentioned, Rachel was born with autism, apraxia, and intellectual disability. She has advanced needs requiring extensive life-long care and interventions. Our community lacks funding and opportunities for adults with autism, with most organizations only offering support to age 21. Most resources are available to individuals able to function relatively independently. My hope now is to do whatever I can to help other families by providing funding to individuals and families touched by autism. The best way I can honor my Rachel is to assist in supporting families and their adult individuals living with autism who are hiding in plain sight among us. My Non-Profit, The RACHEL Project, stands for Realizing Abilities Creating Hope Enhancing Lives. We are working diligently to obtain our first operational grant to launch and grant funding to those needing our assistance without the red tape. Those with complicated care needs or requiring 1:1 supervision have no resources or support in our community. I’m hoping to change this. Long-term I’d like to establish an exciting employment opportunity for my target demographic by employing individuals with an aide to make and package popcorn with various seasonings to sell online to continue to fund our own Non-Profit. I know that many individuals with autism can lead a productive life and offer great skills to employers if given the chance. To offer economic empowerment and self-confidence would make my heart fly!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
When Rachel was a child 20+ years ago therapies for autism such as ABA (applied behavior analysis), severe diet changes, vaccine injury healings, numerous nutraceutical interventions, intensive behavior therapy, anti-fungal therapy, heavy metal detoxification, and many, many more were aimed at CURING autism. I spent 13 years neck deep in this mindset; desperately pushing, pulling, and clawing my way toward for any cure my daughter. Then I woke up.
1. Surrender: To let go. Stay open. Trying to control every aspect of my life won’t change the speed and outcome.
2. Acceptance: The greatest gift you can give to YOURSELF. I now know that I can’t control other people. Let them be. Accept what is.
3. Persevere: Do the next right thing. No matter how dark today is, there will be a tomorrow.
4. This Too, Shall Pass: Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just for today. Nothing lasts forever.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
My number one obstacle is obtaining financial support for The RACHEL Project. I am learning how to fundraise, and am open to funding from all sources and for all needs of adults and families touched by autism. There are currently no programs in the Spokane area which benefit ADULTS on the spectrum. My research estimates that 12,583 individuals with level 2 or 3 autism are living in poverty and receive limited services in our area. I want to change this for Rachel and others. I want to create a community where individuals have a purpose and self-confidence through employment and self-enrichment. I aim to aid with economic and healthcare equality for the people we serve. I believe that all people can learn and all people matter. If I help, even a few, then the RACHEL Project will be a success. I singlehandedly aim to raise $20,000 from direct donations, direct mailings to businesses and individuals in our community, small group events, and educating myself on grant writing best practices until I raise enough to hire help for these needs. I’m currently networking within the community to find volunteers who will help. me expand the reach of RACHEL Project. Accomplishing all of this, and preventing burnout, is the obstacle near term.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.therachelproject509.org
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therachelproject509/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61566151720716
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
