Meet Lyndsay (Huver) Stokes

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Lyndsay (Huver) Stokes. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Lyndsay below.

Lyndsay , we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?

I truly believe the resilience I now possess is because of my journey as a single mom. I wasn’t always resilient and without having to go through hardship, i definitely wouldn’t be as resilient as i am today.
I was 21 years old when i graduated from cosmetology school. I had big dreams of being successful hairstylist that was highly sought after. I was ecstatic when I got hired at what I thought was my dream salon. My career was just beginning and I was excited to train under a top stylist for a year while I worked on building a clientele. 6 months into my new job, I found out I was pregnant. I wasn’t married and it wasn’t looking like my boyfriend wasn’t going to be a stable person in my un born child and I’s life. I had to come to terms that I was likely going to be raising child on my own. As I navigated pregnancy solo, I knew that my situation was less than ideal. There were some truly dark times and learning to navigate through those are what forced me to grow deeply as a person and in my faith. The hardest part was trying to keep life “together” and stable for my son when we were in a really hard situation. I learned first hand that being a single mom is really challenging. Making sure that you have a stable home, the bills are paid, that your child us taken care of, loved and has stable daycare felt really heavy when I was trying to figure out life for myself. I felt guilty and lost. At the end of the hard days, I remember his little smiles, giggles- I had a bigger purpose and I had to take my life day by day. My son has always been my light at the end of the tunnel. On the darkest of days, he has been my reason to keep going.
The first several years of trying to make it in the hair world are really challenging, i was having a hard time building my clientele and finding a salon that felt like home. I ended working multiple different jobs to make ends meet. I jumped from salon to salon, I worked as a barista, I worked at a daycare, and I ended up settling into a Great Clips haircut only salon for about 3 years. At the time, I really didn’t want to work there. But, they had a steady flow of clients coming in for haircuts, offered benefits and with where I was at in life, I was in no position to turn that down. I also did haircuts and color services at both my apartment and at my clients houses. I did that on my days off from Great clips and some evenings after working all day. I remember packing my young son up with me and taking him with me to clients homes. I did hair for weddings and events on the weekends and I donated my plasma at a local Bio Life center. I put my nose to the grind stone and started working incredibly hard to build a life I could be proud of. I was lucky enough to have wonderful parents in my life that offered my son and I support. They religiously helped babysit so that I could work. Over the years, there was a lot of endings and new beginnings. I met so many people that I know God placed in my life. Despite the dark times, loneliness, stress of the unknown, there were no shortage of Blessings were being poured into my son and i’s left and right. I know now that was the Holy Spirit working through the people that have showed up in my life whether it was a random stranger with a small act of kindness, the new friends and mentors sharing their wisdom to help me keep pressing forward. There were countless times that I wanted to give up. Whether that meant falling into a pit of depression and despair, giving up my dream of being a successful hair artist for a steady yet boring 9-5 job, or listening to the naysayers that said I wasn’t going anywhere in life.
Through the challenges and unknowns of that season of my life, I was faced with the choice to sink or swim. The grit I have developed through everything I went through truly amazes me. A true turning point for me was at age 28 when I moved my son and I back into my mother’s house. I didn’t want to do mediocre hair and I started over In my career. I found an amazing mentor and after getting hired at amazing salon, i decided to start my career over. I worked my way up in that salon for 6 years. I invested in create hair color classes and focused on perfecting my craft. I cut off anything in my life that wasn’t bearing fruit and I joined a woman’s Bible study. In that women’s study, I realized what had been missing from my life. I wasn’t living fully for Jesus. I ended up making the choice to get baptized and declaring God as my savior. Making the decision that I couldn’t live my life without having My faith be the anchor was the turning point in my life. God used the hardships to draw me closer to him. To depend on him and build trust. I can zoom out on my life now and see how God used unplanned pregnancy, years of hardship, uncertainty, rejection for good! What can feel like rejection, or a dead end is really Gods protection. God will never take anything away unless he has something better in store for you. All you need to do is trust! Gods plan for us is so much bigger than we could ever imagine. Every bad thing that’s happened to me, God has used for good. We can learn from each and every obstacle that we face, IF we decide to!
A pivotal life moment for me was when very special friend once told me, “You can let this make you bitter OR better.”
I struggled with bitterness for a while because I’m human, but eventually I chose to let it all make me BETTER!

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I am one of the lucky ones that gets to go to work and do what they love!
From a young age I always wanted to be a hairstylist, but I never envisioned running my own business. The ability to be artistic, the power to transform the way a client looks and feels, along with being on my feet moving all day was always so appealing to me.
I graduated from cosmetology school in 2010. I attended Douglas J in Grand Rapids, Mi. To be vulnerable, before I started school I was so nervous. I always knew this was what I wanted to do, but I was never the one who practiced doing everyone’s hair or was naturally good at it.
I had to learn to “do it afraid.”
When I got out of cosmetology school, I landed a job that I thought was my dream job. It was anything but that. I had anxiety every day and it just wasn’t a good fit. I bounced around to many salons my first 5 years of doing hair. Trying to find my place, build my clientele and make money. It was really, really hard starting out. When my son was a baby, a family friend said I should just call it quits and go work a 9-5 at a bank. I knew I could never do that. That’s when I knew I needed to find a salon that paid me hourly and do what I had to
Do until I could do what I wanted to do. It wasn’t glamorous and i did in fact often want to give up.
One of the best things I ever did was start working with a mentor. In 2017, A hairstylist from New York popped up on my Social media page. The photos of her work were so beautiful and I was so inspired by her energy. I continued to follow her page online and dove into perfecting my craft, which was hair color. In 2019, I had a local hairstylist reach out to me and ask if I was interested in attending a hair color class. When I asked who was teaching it, I was shocked to learn that the hairstylist I had been so inspired by and following online, was flying into Grand Rapids, mi from New York to teach this class.
I spent almost everything I had been saving to attend this class. I knew I had to invest in myself even though I was scared.
After that hair color class, I went on to attend 3 other classes from this amazing mentor, including an online business building and branding course. She helped me create a business plan and gave me the courage to make a big move professionally.
After 11 years of working for other people, I decided to go all in on myself and start working for myself, With the help of my mentor and a good friend, I got an LLC and found a chair rental salon that I could run my own business out of. After 11 years of working on someone else’s dream, I finally got to work on my own. Working with clients who fit within my brand, being able to create my own schedule and have weekends off to be a mom who is present was the best thing I’ve ever done. It was so challenging over the years, but I don’t know If I would truly appreciate where I am now if I didn’t have to struggle and work as hard as I did to get to where I am now. My amazing, 14 year old son watched me do all of this and I know he is also incredibly thankful for how our life is now.
What I love most about my job is I have the ability to transform a clients day. I love my clients so much and as much as the appointment is about hair- it isn’t just hair! It’s about connection. Making someone feel seen, feel special, and creating a safe space where they can be loved on. I always want my clients to feel like nothing can touch them when they are in my chair!

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Looking back, I really think my drive to succeed played huge role in my journey. Throughout the course of my life, Whenever someone has told me I can’t do something or that I should give up, it always driven me to work ten times harder. In my situation, my son has always been my #1 driving force as well. When I’ve been up against the odds or life has been particularly challenging and I’ve wanted to give up, I remember who was watching. I never want to let him down.
In life, Knowing your why and your purpose is key. When we remember why we are working so hard and what we are working towards, it’s easier to stay the course. Nothing worth having comes easy. If it was easy, everybody would do it. What sets you apart in this world and how can you make the world a better place? By digging deep and asking yourself the hard questions, you’ll 1) learn so much about yourself and 2) learn what you want out of life.
My final advice is to find a mentor that you can learn from. Someone you truly look up to and that your inspired by. Someone who is happy and fulfilled in their career. You’ll be amazed at what they can teach you and how their advice will help you grow personally and professionally.

Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?

I’ve got a couple people that have really believed in me, encouraged me and have supported me so that I could be successful.
My husband, Shane, is my biggest cheerleader. As an entrepreneur himself, he is always there to listen,
Help me Dream up new business opportunities, and give me the courage to jump when the time is right. He leads by example and takes calculated risks in his businesses while encouraging me to do the same. No risk, no reward!
The most influential person I’ve crossed paths with in my journey is my mentor and now friend, Tabetha Carns. She’s not only the most
Incredible hairstylist I’ve ever met, but also one of the kindest. After finding her work on Instagram and having the opportunity to attend almost 8 classes with her over the last 7 years, It’s hard to find the words to express what she’s helped me do in my life. She is a hairstylist, business coach, turned life coach, she hosts yearly retreats for hairstylists where you are able to work on your business skills along with learning new ways to create beautiful hair behind the chair.
My time with her has been such a gift and without her wisdom, I would not be where I am today.
“There is a purpose for everyone we meet. Some will test you, some will teach you, some may use you and some will bring out the very best in you”

Contact Info:

• Instagram: Lyndsaystokeshair

Image Credits

Karen Muni Macy