Meet M Kathryn Weaver

We recently connected with M Kathryn Weaver and have shared our conversation below.

M Kathryn, we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hopes that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.

Mental and emotional health struggles have been part of my life long before I understood the concept of “mental health.” Like many, I was taught to care for my teeth, comb my hair, and maintain good hygiene. However, the importance of caring for my mind didn’t become clear until my late 50s. As we grow and age, sometimes we forget the who, what, when, and why. Writing the book “Grace to Climb Mountains” quietly guided me through my past and gave light to my current realities.

Growing up, I experienced emotional wounds from a dysfunctional home environment and faced torment from bullies in both the classroom and on the playground. After graduating from high school, instead of taking time to focus on myself, I jumped into a relationship, got married at 22, and had my first child at 24.

Wanting more for myself and my family, for years I pushed myself in unhealthy ways as I strived for better. I’ve always believed that I deserved the best in everything I desired. I painfully yearned to have a career and a beautiful home in the suburbs. In hindsight, I was seeking security and stability. I never achieved a college degree because I found it difficult to focus and test, no matter how hard I studied. Over time, I gave up and chose to educate myself through work. It was through work in various areas and industries, that I was able to gain a plethora of skills and experiences.

Having held over 50 jobs since I was 15, by my mid-50s I began to feel a sense of underachievement. I secretly felt that perhaps I was mentally unbalanced because, after all of this time, I still felt unsettled. Like so many of my friends, I should have had everything figured out by now. I was uncomfortable in my skin.

For years, I dismissed my feelings as mere stress and exhaustion from working full-time, managing a household, and raising two children; instead of the truth of my actions: striving for perfection while changing from one job to another, looking for a better title or higher pay.

My husband suggested writing for therapy. I began in 2005 but would stop after shedding tears over the first paragraph of past pain. Following a stressful period, my brother not for the first time, encouraged me again to “write the book” to “tell our story.”

Today I am mindful of my emotional and mental well-being throughout the day. Writing “Grace to Climb Mountains” was for me, like a butterfly shedding her cocoon. It has been a reflective journey, reminding me of my origins, and the evolution of my character. It has given light to the reasons behind who I was then and who I am today.

Through writing my memoir, I learned that the basis of my mental health struggles were rooted in my childhood. Something I always knew, but could never fully understand the who, what, when, and why of the past. I still don’t have all of the answers, but I gained enough to release the pain that was so tightly woven in my veins. For nearly 50 years, I carried lies that I didn’t generate on my back and shame that I didn’t create on my shoulders. I had learned to be someone I wasn’t.

I persisted after all those years because I wanted better for myself; I wanted to feel better, and in doing so, I became a better version of myself, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I am currently focused on promoting my book, which aims to raise awareness about the effects of childhood emotional abuse on adults. When we think of abuse, physical harm comes to the minds of many; and we rarely consider the impact of emotional abuse when the child becomes an adult.

In addition to this, I serve as an Agent Administrator for Life Insurance Agents within a fraternal organization. My role involves maintaining the licenses for over 700 agents across 43 states. After decades of searching, I can honestly say that I truly enjoy what I do.

As a licensed realtor, I will soon resume selling residential properties. I took a break to write and concentrate on my book.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Since I was a young girl, I have always wanted to be a published author. I wasn’t good at telling stories so I focused early on someday writing a memoir.

Honesty, courage, and focus. To write “Grace to Climb Mountains” I had to be willing to be honest with myself and have the courage to share the story that I desperately felt needed to be told. Much of what I wrote about was not known by family or friends until the book was published.

I spoke to a few family members when researching for my book, but kept my circle small so that I could stay focused. Some may have tried to discourage me from writing my truth.

Find your “me space” for you and your craft. I love the news and watching TV in general! I gave up my TV shows and watched television long enough to get the news and weather. Now, that may have been extreme, but I was finally in the mode to write without the tears. I used to dream of writing by the ocean, but what I had was a quiet room in my house with a comfortable, reclining, loveseat! I plugged in my earbuds and turned on Motown. I had to listen to the music of the era I was writing about to get the words flowing!

What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?

The most impactful thing that my parents did for me was instilling the importance of education and a good work ethic.

I don’t recall a time when either of them was not working. I am certain that my father showed up for work on time, and my mother did not like to be late for anything. I believe she was one that never showed up for work late. Both of our parents appeared to be hard-working. I suppose I sensed their work ethic by the way they carried themselves, by the way they kept up the house, the yard, and the vehicles. On the weekends, there was very little slouching around.

My father once told my brother and me to always keep a second vehicle on hand. He said if one broke down, you could always go to work in the other. He then proceeded to tell us to fix the broken-down vehicle later, when we were off work.

We moved around a lot when we were growing up, but my mother was always conscious of the schools we would have to attend. She always preferred to enroll us in the suburban schools rather than the public city schools when she was able.
While mother didn’t pay a lot of attention to the school work we were doing, she didn’t tolerate us bringing home failing grades or bad reports from school.

My father was a smart man and was always teaching us on the spot and sharing his wisdom with my brother and me. He would pull random words out of the dictionary and read the meaning to us. I remember when the encyclopedia was sold door to door, he bought a set which I still have today. He once gave me an old newspaper from the 1960s and had it laminated; I still have that too. It was interesting to see the prices of what things cost back then!

My mother would in response to my whining and complaining about the way our rental house looked on the outside say, ” you don’t live out there, you live in here”.

My father would say, just because you are broke and don’t have any money, doesn’t mean you have to act like it; you don’t need to talk about it – everybody is broke.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.gracetoclimb.com/
• Other: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grace-to-climb-mountains-a-childhood-of/id1550376396?i=1000663538744

Image Credits

Mark Rabung
Steven Woodard