Meet Maddie Mcsweeney

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Maddie Mcsweeney. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Maddie below.

Hi Maddie, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.

I certainly have not overcome imposter syndrome or any sort of self-doubt. It is something I deal with daily, inside and outside my art practice. In our “grind/hustle” culture, perfection and unrelenting motivation is encouraged, and even expected. This mental state leaves little room for error and empathy. It is difficult to not fall victim to this and to find a healthy balance between work and rest.

I experience both joy and misery caught in highly motivated and intense bursts of making. So much good has come out of it, but I also don’t eat, I don’t sleep, my emotions are overflowing, and my anxiety’s through the roof! It makes complete sense to need a period of rest afterwards (I’m currently in one now). Despite this, however, I still yearn to be in the tumbling-down-stairs, rocket-blasting-off state. Even more so, I feel like I should be or else I’m missing out on crucial time to prove myself as a “real” artist (whatever that means). Because of this overthinking and self-punishment, I can find it hard to move out of periods of rest. I will worry about what the next step is and whether or not I’ll get it “right,” even though a big part of making art is making a lot of really shitty art. It’s inevitable, so it’s very silly to fret—even though many artists like myself do.

I find myself coming back to a phrase another artist had told me, to which they were paraphrasing someone else. It was along the lines of: “You won’t know if a work is successful until three years after it has been made. So just make the work anyways.” I don’t know if it’s true, but I find this—as well as community, curiosity, and play—to be helpful when confronting my imposter syndrome.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I’m a interdisciplinary conceptual artist who explores the vulnerability and awkwardness of human living. I use humor to find joy and relief in the discomfort of existing in a temporary vessel. A body, real or imagined, is often depicted in my work to reflect on these periods of existential dread or to cross emotional and physical boundaries for connection. Embracing my emotions guides me to display them in a way that encourages laughter and resonance. I aim to use my memories and encounters with others to investigate how we can feel a deeper presence within ourselves and to the greater collective.

My medium choices are based on present conceptual and emotional needs, which may be ideally conveyed through printmaking, painting, sculpture, installation, performance, or video. Multimedia speaks to the way I function day-to-day as a queer, gender-nonconforming person as well as the ephemerality of living in a disjointed, material world.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

One skill I have that impacts my art work is my communication skills and connection to community. Making lots of friends—in the art world or otherwise—has been very fruitful to my personal and professional life. If they are not the explicit subject that I’m examining or depicting, our conversations and play generate much of what I become interested in bringing into my work. The relationships and collaborations I’m able to conjure is invaluable to my art and my life.

Another impactful quality I have is my humor and love for the theatrical and disturbing. Childlike humor and off-putting imagery are often present in my work, but it wasn’t until the last year or two that I started expressing this through interactive and performative exercises. As much as I appreciate genuine, heartfelt connection, I’m delighted by testing my own and other people’s boundaries. Pushing my physical and emotional discomfort becomes a testament to my resilience and free will, presenting new paths of opportunity. Pushing others becomes a psychological and scientific game, trying to analyze how different variables make people tick and what that reveals about us. It’s all quite invigorating.

I’m also a very big dreamer, and I’ve been lucky and resourceful to make my visions into a reality. A lot of my most recent work has required intense problem solving and reevaluating. It’s hard but fun to negotiate with myself to figure out what’s truly possible within a set amount of time, money, material, etc. When I struggle to do it alone, I have great people around me who act as my checks and balances—either grounding me or helping me reach above.

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?

Like I said earlier, I think fear and grace are large challenges for me. I struggle with anxiety, and it’s very agitating that it extends out to my art process. I care very much about what I do, and I hate finding myself in states of paralysis with it. I have to constantly remind myself that this is not inherently wrong. A painting professor I had once told me, “This is just your modus operandi.” I find this comforting.

My work actually challenges my fear all the time. In my paintings, I revisit uncomfortable feelings and memories. I’m not able to free myself from them, but I offer up my vulnerability and often find someone of the other side who relates and reciprocates. This type on interaction provides much relief.

My interactive and performative works are also reliant on the unknown. I never wholly know what to expect when setting up a space or an experience, and there’s only so much I can predict. Most of the time I need to let the thing play out to know what it’s actually doing. I don’t get to wrestle as long as I want and present when I’m ready like I can with a painting. I have to go in with unanswered questions and take a risk in front of an audience in order to (hopefully) get some answers. It’s terrifying, but I love it for that exact reason.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: mcsweeneymakes
• Youtube: mcsweeneymakes