We were lucky to catch up with Madeleine Lawrence recently and have shared our conversation below.
Madeleine, so many exciting things to discuss, we can’t wait. Thanks for joining us and we appreciate you sharing your wisdom with our readers. So, maybe we can start by discussing optimism and where your optimism comes from?
My optimism was absolutely developed over time. I was not born an optimist, but rather a “realist,” leaning more toward the side of pessimism. I think this is quite normal for many of us, unfortunately. We are born into a world that can often be scary, dark, and unfair.
But it wasn’t until the past three years or so that I had to flex my muscle of optimism and hope more than usual. It actually wasn’t until then that I realized how incredibly powerful optimism truly is—because I didn’t have any other option but to find it and use it.
My childhood wasn’t the smoothest sailing. My parents got divorced when I was 12, and it wasn’t any old, regular divorce—it was quite brutal. I guess most divorces or separations are never very pleasant, but the one our family went through tore us all apart. We were devastated. There was cheating involved and a slew of other heartbreaking moments. My mom and dad loved each other so much—that was never in question—but their past childhood trauma and their inability to truly understand and empathize with one another was the detriment of it all.
This created quite the rebellious teenager within me. I carried anger and confusion constantly. I learned that through alcohol, drugs, and sex, I could distract myself, cope, and ignore the pain and torment that lived within. I was very oblivious to the pain I was going through at the time, though. I didn’t know there was another way to live—that there was a more healed version of myself on the other side of all of this.
It wasn’t until I started therapy regularly in college that I realized the unnatural or unjust nature of my world and childhood. What I assumed to be “normalcy” wasn’t all that normal. What I experienced growing up wasn’t healthy or beneficial for my heart. I didn’t feel safe, and I didn’t feel unconditionally loved.
Even through this, I didn’t choose optimism. I didn’t know it was an option for me. I knew how to numb and keep moving forward. The Universe had other plans for me, though. It needed to show me how dark things could really get to force me to wake up and realize the infinite blessing that is my life—regardless of the pain that is a part of my story, and everyone’s story.
Where my optimism came into play was over the past three years when a few big life events took place—my mother was diagnosed with aphasia (a rare form of dementia at the age of 55), I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, and also with a chronic vestibular migraine (which makes for a 24/7 constant rocking-on-a-boat type of vertigo—this has persisted for 12 months now, as crazy as that is to believe and say myself).
Through all of these different forms of health decline and deep grief, fear struck within my body to the highest degree. How can I trust that my body isn’t failing me? Will I end up like my mom? Will my mom ever be the same? Is my husband going to leave me for someone else, like my dad did to my mom? Will I survive this? Will my mom survive this? Why me? Why her?
It all felt like too much. I was crumbling. I was terrified of the world. Terrified of my body. My nervous system had completely shut down. I couldn’t cope or soothe. I couldn’t find any reprieve. I didn’t want to be here anymore. I was deathly uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn’t want to have to move through all this pain.
When the vertigo/vestibular migraine first started, it was so scary. To explain it briefly, the sensation is as if you are on a boat—but not. Your body feels as though it is being pulled to the left and to the right. Swaying up and down. Constantly. For the first month, I was entirely disabled. I couldn’t get up to brush my teeth, take a shower, drive, or cook food. It was isolating and incredibly debilitating. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t do a single thing. I relied solely on my husband, Ryan, to take care of me. I felt so terribly dependent on him, and it was suffocating.
We also went to every doctor you could imagine and took every test you could imagine—EKG, MRI, CT scan, blood tests, EEG—neurologist, chiropractor, acupuncturist, primary care, ENT… You name it—we tried everything to find answers. A name for it. A cure for it.
As I have had to live with all three of these impossibly heartbreaking scenarios and experiences, I have found that it is within my hope and my optimism—that things will slowly get better—that I can find a way to wake up every morning with a smile and gratitude in my heart. It is through my hope and my optimism that I continue to try and try and try again. Whether it’s another doctor’s appointment, another health test, or simply backing away from it all to surrender to my current situation.
Optimism has saved my life. It has shown me that my perspective—of my life, and all the trauma and pain that are part of my story—is mine to shape the narrative around. I am entirely responsible for how I show up in this world, and there is only so much I can control. So for the things that I cannot control, I choose to have faith, optimism, and hope—that I will soon find an answer and a stop to what I’ve been experiencing. And if that isn’t the case, I will continue to choose, each and every single day, to rise with strength, grace, and optimism.
This looks like constantly rising to the challenge and pushing myself to get out of my comfort zone every single day. Although I feel awfully uncomfortable—and like I am on a rocking boat 24 hours a day—I still want to be able to meet new people, go to a coffee shop with a girlfriend, attend my sessions with my therapy clients, put on retreats for women around the U.S., and lead women’s groups. It feels good to push myself. To show up for others. To be out in the world. To force myself into settings where I can get out of myself. Laugh. Play. Dance. Have fun.
All the while—completely broken, vulnerable, and cracked WIDE open. Honoring my humanness and sharing my story for those who are curious to hear it—knowing that they too can feel comfortable and honored in the sharing of their own unique story.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
Hi beautiful people! I’m Madeleine (Maddie) Grace Lawrence—an Alternative Therapist and Women’s Group Leader based in St. Pete, FL.
Through modalities such as Reiki, Meditation, Breathwork, Conscious Movement/Embodiment, Art Play, and Spiritual Life Coaching, I help men and women heal, reconnect with their truth, and step fully into their power, purpose, and JOY. My work moves beyond traditional talk therapy, integrating heart, body, and spirit for deep and lasting transformation.
As a Women’s Group Leader, I host intimate, in-person women’s support groups quarterly (February, April, June, and August), bringing together incredible, like-minded women in the community. I also host two powerful women’s retreats each year (May and October) across the U.S., helping women reconnect with Mother Nature, slow down deeply, and recenter.
I’m a certified Reiki Master, Spiritual Life Coach, Breathwork & Meditation Teacher, Embodiment Coach, and Ordained Minister. I hold two BAs (in Psychology and Metaphysics), a Master’s in Metaphysics, and I’m currently earning my PhD in Metaphysics with a focus on Transpersonal Counseling.
Since founding my practice in 2020, I’ve had the honor of working with over 500 incredible clients and receiving more than 100 five-star reviews on Google. Every session, retreat, and women’s group is a sacred offering. I view my work with clients as Divine service to the Universe. I know I was put on this Earth to do exactly what I’m doing, and I’m so excited to continue meeting wonderful people and to share deep unconditional love, immense healing, and profound JOY with the world.
My mission is to help individuals break free from limiting beliefs, perfectionism, workaholism, grief, and anxiety so they can live from their wholeness, wisdom, and worth.
If you’re ready to begin your healing journey, I’m here—and honored—to walk beside you.
I can’t wait to meet you. I love you already!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
The three qualities that have been the most impactful in my journey are discipline, perseverance, and the ability to take rejection gracefully.
Discipline, for me, has looked like creating a consistent routine that I can return to every single day—both personally and professionally. I like to allow enough flexibility in my routine so that things don’t become too rigid or stagnant, but instead offer the space for my feminine creative energy to flow.
For example, my mornings typically consist of some form of movement and meditation practice, but within that, I give myself many options to lean into depending on the energy I’m tapping into that day. Some examples include dancing, a workout with weights, biking, paddleboarding, a walk with my husband along the beach, an intense run, or the StairMaster at the gym. For my meditation practice, that might look like writing affirmations, energy healing, visualization meditations, guided meditations, pulling tarot cards, journaling, or breathwork.
I like to keep things fresh and exciting—giving myself the experience of freedom within my everyday routine.
Perseverance has also played a massive role in the continuation of both my career and personal life. To me, perseverance means not giving up; it means continuing to shoot for the stars. It means believing in yourself no matter the cost. Even when people tell you you’re crazy. Or that something won’t work. Believe in you. Create. Dream big. And go for it!
Something I am so grateful for in my life is my ability to believe in myself. I’ve always been quite a confident individual because my parents raised me to be incredibly independent. I knew I had to carry the swagger of knowing what I was doing—even when I didn’t. This has given me the strength to persevere through so much. To continue to rise, and rise, and rise again—especially when I’ve been rejected a million times over.
As a business owner, I’m constantly working to grow brand awareness. Not only because I need to make money to survive, but because I love what I do with ALL of my heart. I am so deeply impassioned by helping others connect to their purpose, heal, and find their JOY. But it’s through brand awareness and outreach—both to new clients and returning ones—that I’ve experienced the most rejection.
This isn’t easy. You want to offer someone the experience of a lifetime, the healing of a lifetime, the friendships of a lifetime, and yet they can’t quite grasp the depth of your words or your message. It’s in these moments that I’m reminded: What is meant for me will always find me. Always. Always. Always.
There’s a constant, delicate balance at play between grinding, pushing, and forcing—and allowing things to come to you, being in flow, and surrendering. The masculine and feminine energies of “do” and “be.” This is my major takeaway for anyone trying to create something beautiful for themselves and the world around them: find your balance. Don’t look to the world around you to define it. We are all so uniquely different. So tap in. Tune in. What feels right for you? Do you need to push this week? Or do you need to rest? The Universe is always trying to communicate to and through us. Listen. Listen. Listen.
And also—PLAY with all of it! Don’t take any of it too seriously. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t take life too seriously. Believe in your ability to be resilient—because you are. Being human is tough, and you’ve obviously made it this far. So keep going. Don’t give up. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and remember: we’re all doing the same thing every single day, whether it looks like we’re on cloud nine or not. We all struggle in one way or another. Don’t compare yourself to ANYONE. You are YOU. Unique, beautiful, whole, and PERFECT exactly as you are—and the Universe is BEGGING you to bring your gifts and love into this world.
So trust that inkling you have… and go for it.
How would you spend the next decade if you somehow knew that it was your last?
Oooo! I love this question. I love it because it’s REAL. I think oftentimes when we’re asked a question like this, we dream and think and believe it won’t happen anytime soon—that we won’t be taken from this planet anytime soon. So when we’re “only” given 10 years left… what the hell would we do?
But I think the real response is: GOD, if I’m blessed enough to have 10 more years on this planet… what a FRICKIN’ GOD-GIVEN BLESSING!
I didn’t always think this way, though. Only once I came face-to-face with death and grief in some form did I slowly begin to understand that death is much, much closer than I ever believed it to be.
We are constantly knocking on the door of death—every moment of every day.
This is not morbid. It’s true. And it’s beautiful.
I didn’t realize this until life hit me hard—over and over again—with beautiful but terrifying reality. In high school, a group of our friends went out on a boat ride at night. One died, and the survivors have been suffering life-altering consequences ever since. One paralyzed from the neck down. Others with neck and back injuries that have lasted over 10+ years.
I didn’t realize this until my mom was diagnosed with dementia, a few years after my Bobi—my mom’s mom—passed from cancer. I watched the mother I had always known slowly slip away into a shell of herself. She can no longer speak more than one sentence. She uses the phrase, “I thought we were going that way,” to speak for everything she wants to say. Her career, taken from her. Her independence, stripped away. Her ability to feel safe and confident in her own body. Her ability to drive. All of it—gone. Still here… but not at all.
I didn’t realize this until I faced my own terrifying health scares—Crohn’s disease and a chronic vestibular migraine (24/7 rocking-on-a-boat sensation for the past 12 months). MRI scans, CT scans, blood tests, EEG, EKG—doctor after doctor after doctor.
If I had a decade of life left… I would feel like the luckiest woman on the planet. To know with complete certainty that I had 10 more years of my life would feel so comforting, so safe, and so nourishing. My nervous system could settle in a way it never has before. To have the honor and privilege of knowing when my time would come would be something most humans never get to experience.
Within that decade, I would dive so deep into my relationships. I would dive so deep into each of my loved ones. I’d want to spend every waking moment with them. And I’d also want to meet new people. Travel the world—Africa and Europe especially. I love Italy! I’d drink delicious wine and eat cheese in a castle-like home on the rolling hills of Tuscany. I’d make love with my husband. Take long walks on the beach. Ecstatically dance under the full moon. Skinny dip, naked and free, in rivers and oceans. I’d watch stupid, binge-worthy reality TV. I’d play with my two Chihuahuas all day long…
As I write this, I realize: I would live life exactly how I already do.
Because, truthfully, my life is so incredibly FULL. I have the most amazing people in my life who love me so deeply. I have the most fulfilling job. I’ve been privileged enough to travel to many parts of the world. I get to eat the yummiest food, cooked by my handsome and loving husband (he cooks dinner for me every single night!). My life is so good—and yet, it’s also been so painful.
BUT—I am intentional. I am a lover. A dreamer. A feeler. I am heart-centered, and I try every single day to remember that death is always knocking at my door. Every moment of every day. Always. Because that is what makes me feel alive. That is what helps me stay present. That is what frees me from the binds of the past, the trauma, and the constant projections into the future.
To constantly remember that this precious life could be taken from me at any moment. This is the reality of my life. I know it to be true. That I could die from anything and everything. And this doesn’t scare me one bit—but instead propels me to remain centered and fueled by JOY.
I want to live! Live fully, completely, totally. I want to love. To be in love. To dance. To howl at the moon. To cry. To experience the lowest of lows—the grief, the hopelessness, the depth—and the highest of highs: the hilarious giggles, the fear, the sadness, the awe, the bliss. All of it.
And I want to celebrate every single moment that I am given—even if it’s unbearable. Because life is a gift. A miracle.
So yes, if I am given a decade left to live—what an incredibly lucky woman I would be.
Contact Info:
- Website: maddiemeditates.com
- Instagram: @maddiemeditates
- Facebook: @maddiemeditates
- Linkedin: @maddiemeditates
- Other: Email: [email protected] Phone Number: (813) 530.6087
