Meet Manon Rinsma

 

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Manon Rinsma a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Manon, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?

Resilience, for me, was born from loss. Losing my mother at twelve didn’t just shape me—it tested me, forced me to adapt, and taught me how to rebuild, even when home no longer felt like home.

Travel became both my escape and my greatest teacher, pushing me to confront uncertainty head-on. Leaving everything behind with nothing but a backpack and my red Nikes was a turning point. That journey tested me in ways I never expected—loneliness, exhaustion, fear—but each challenge proved that I was stronger than I thought. That I could figure things out. That I could start over.

Resilience isn’t just about enduring; it’s about that constant cycle of breaking and rebuilding, knowing that even when everything falls apart, there is always a way forward—even if I have to carve the path myself.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

Absolutely. Writing is my art form—my memoirs, 13 Diamonds: Life Before Death from a Child’s Perspective and A Far Cry from Yesterday: Finding Tomorrow in Distant Lands are deeply personal explorations of love, grief, resilience, and the journey of reinvention.

Let me take a step back to the Netherlands, where I grew up. In February 2005, I lost my mother to brain cancer. I was twelve. Even then, I had a strong sense that I needed to write about it. I had always kept journals, but this was different—this was something I knew I would one day share with the world. That day, I typed on my computer: “A life without a mother—how would that be?” An hour later, she was gone. She took her final breath surrounded by the people she loved most. It turned my world upside down.

What followed should have been a time of grief, of heartbreaking loss. And it was. But it also became something else entirely. While there were still fresh flowers on my mother’s grave, a knock on the door changed everything. A new woman entered our home. She never left. The years that followed, I lived in a house that no longer felt like mine. I worked multiple jobs to gain independence and eventually moved to Amsterdam, hoping to start fresh and leave the past behind. But it wasn’t far enough, and it didn’t silence the ghosts.

By 2015, I knew—enough was enough. I stood at a crossroads, with so many things ending and nothing left to lose. My father gave me a travel backpack for my 23rd birthday, and I left. I flew from Amsterdam to Los Angeles, then took a Greyhound across the continent, followed by three more continents. I rode the Trans-Siberian and Mongolian Railway from Moscow to Beijing, wandered through New Zealand, Australia, and Thailand, carried my soul across Europe, and drove the Pamir Highway in Central Asia. I was searching—for my place in the world, for a way out of my own head, for the light my mother had given me that had flickered too long in the darkness.

That journey ultimately brought me to—book spoiler—Los Angeles. A place I could finally call my own. A place where anything felt possible.

After moving to LA, I finished writing the book I had started the day my mother died. 13 Diamonds: Life Before Death from a Child’s Perspective focuses on her cancer journey through my twelve-year-old eyes. I chose not to write about the years that followed—because they weren’t about her. That time was filled with anger, mind games, and the weight of feeling unwelcome in my own home. 13 Diamonds was about love—my mother’s love, her strength, the power of family. It was my way of giving back to anyone in a similar situation—someone who, like me, wished for more transparency in those final moments, hoping they wouldn’t miss out on valuable time and wouldn’t leave any words unsaid.

Now, on February 1, 2025, I’ve finally published my next memoir, A Far Cry from Yesterday: Finding Tomorrow in Distant Lands—the story of my journey around the world in search of belonging, in search of love, even—love for myself and for the world around me. It skips those ten years between 13 Diamonds and my departure, but those years still haunted me. The flashbacks, the anxieties, the wounds I hadn’t yet faced—they all surfaced along the way. Writing this book took time. Because sometimes, it takes time to bring yourself back to the memories you’ve spent a lifetime trying to escape. Every time I thought I had healed, writing ripped open old wounds, forcing me to feel the pain all over again. But I had to do it—partly to help close that door for good, but more importantly, because at the core of everything I do is a deep belief in the power of storytelling to connect, heal, and inspire.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Looking back, I can break down the qualities that shaped my journey into two areas: my physical journey around the world and my writing journey. Each has been influenced by different traits, and both have played a vital role in shaping where I am today.

For my physical journey, adaptability and curiosity stand out as key drivers, especially when things got challenging.
– Adaptability: Life rarely goes as planned. The ability to pivot and embrace uncertainty has been crucial for growth. My advice for anyone starting out? Don’t get too attached to one path—sometimes the detours lead you to the best destinations.
– Curiosity: I’ve always been drawn to stories, people, and places that challenge my perspective. Staying curious opens doors to unexpected opportunities. For those beginning their journey, lean into what excites you. Follow your questions—they often lead you exactly where you need to go.

When it comes to writing about deeply personal experiences—what I often refer to as a specific kind of torture—self-discipline and the ability to sit with discomfort have been crucial.
– Self-discipline: Passion fuels dreams, but discipline turns them into reality. Writing a book, building a career, or navigating personal growth all require consistency, especially on tough days. My advice? Build small, consistent habits. Momentum comes from action, not just motivation.
– Sit with discomfort: Healing, growth, and creativity require facing hard truths. Writing my books meant revisiting painful experiences, but it also brought clarity and strength. Don’t rush past the difficult parts—let them teach you. The most transformative moments often come from sitting with discomfort.

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

Overwhelm used to be—and sometimes still is (I’m a mom of a one-year-old)—my default state. I would take on too much, push through exhaustion, and ignore the warning signs. I’ve learned that the best way to manage it is to slow down before I’m forced to.

For me, stepping outside my immediate environment helps. Whether it’s going for a long walk, journaling, or simply taking a breath and reassessing my priorities, distance provides perspective. I remind myself why I started and that I don’t need all the answers right now. When I feel like I’m drowning in expectations—often my own—I ask myself, “What is the next right step?” Not ten steps ahead, just the next one.

If I have any advice to give (though, I’ll admit, I don’t always follow it myself): Learn to recognize your limits before you crash into them. Build in moments of rest, and remember that stepping back isn’t failure—it’s part of the process.

Traveling taught me that no matter how lost I feel, I’m never truly stuck—there’s always another road, another choice. And don’t be afraid to pause—sometimes clarity comes when we stop forcing the answer.

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Image Credits

Dustin Sheffield

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