Meet Marcy Bulkeley

 

We were lucky to catch up with Marcy Bulkeley recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Marcy, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

The story of me finding my purpose is multi-leveled/layered, beginning when I was very young. From an early age, I was immersed in the power of music. From The Beatles and The Temptations to the first scores that captivated me with John Barry’s *Out of Africa* and the soundtrack of *Labyrinth*. It was through “Labyrinth” that I discovered David Bowie ( I even have a tattoo inspired by the film- about a young woman reclaiming her power from an evil goblin king- and Bowie himself). I remember how the music made me feel as I watched those films and realized music’s profound role in storytelling and creating an experience for someone.

When I was 11, I told my dad that I wanted to put music to pictures. He was my date to my first music awards show, where I was nominated for best music in a film trailer for my “Looper” trailer. From ages 11 to 29, I remained deeply attuned to how music affected me, creating mixtapes and playlists called the Marce-mellow series. I studied Film Music at Emerson College in Boston, where most of my projects revolved around unconventional musical experiences.

During this period, I struggled with addiction and alcoholism, but my passion for music remained my focus and solace, guiding me through trauma and darkness. Song lyrics could express what I couldn’t put into words, while melodies, rhythms, and beats redirected my teenage angst, providing a space for expression. Though I never played any instruments—my hand/eye/heart/mind coordination didn’t work that way—I had a deep understanding of music and a talent for curating and enhancing experiences through it.

Despite the addiction, I managed to maintain jobs in the music industry, gaining a comprehensive understanding of “putting music to picture.” After college, I moved from Boston to LA just before September 11, 2001, making it tough to find a job in the music industry. I interned for various music producers and worked my way up through the LA music scene.

I got sober at 29 and quickly landed my first job as a Music Supervisor in the film trailer and entertainment marketing industry. Around this time, I discovered Kundalini Yoga, mantra, and meditation, which marked the beginning of my spiritual journey. Early sobriety was challenging, particularly as I learned to socialize and network without relying on substances. These practices, especially Kundalini Yoga, gave me the courage and strength to navigate these challenges, fostering discipline, balance, self-trust, and creativity.

Sobriety allowed me to embrace my sensitive, empathetic, and courageous creativity. I became a certified Kundalini Yoga teacher while holding a demanding career. I also delved into other healing modalities, becoming a Reiki Master and incorporating sound healing and meditation into my daily routine. These practices allowed me to excel in my job; in a way, they slowed down time for me, allowing me more space in my mind to get what needed to get done.

In 2018, I transitioned to the major record label world to explore my creativity in new ways. A unique role was created for me at one of the largest record labels in the world. I collaborated with artists, producers, and remixers to create new music and remixes of existing songs, tailoring them for media, film, TV, and ads. This often involved focusing on positive lyrics and crafting emotional sweeps and swells. During the 2020 lockdown, my team produced hour-long sleep remixes of popular music for a major meditation app, further merging my passions for music and wellness.

And now I have Subtle Mother, where I approach every aspect—every project I curate, every song I help rework, every artist I collaborate with, every talk I give, and every retreat I facilitate—with a heartfelt focus on how it will impact others, how it will make them feel, and how it can heal or uplift them. All my experiences, both career and personal, have guided me to this purpose, and I am deeply grateful for every part of the journey.

I’m passionate about my work, and everything I do—from client meetings and artist one-on-ones to administrative tasks—feels like a sacred and playful extension of my creativity.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

Throughout my years balancing the realms of wellness and healing in LA alongside my work in a major label and the entertainment industry, I’ve nurtured an incredible community, soulful connections, and valuable resources. Subtle Mother has just celebrated its third “Birthday,” marking another milestone in this journey. Her ( I affectionately refer to her as a “she/her.”) public debut was intentional and gradual, with recordings, intimate concerts/events, and social media gradually coming together.

In 2021, I had the profound opportunity to connect with a community of traditional African Sangoma healers. It happened during a plant medicine ceremony where I encountered not only them but also other remarkable artists from Africa, Colombia, and beyond. Their voices, stories, and traditions deeply inspired me, and it was during this ceremony that “Subtle Mother” was conceived at 3am.

At that time, I was also in the process of healing from a traumatic event—an unexpected hysterectomy during a pandemic, which was particularly challenging as a young woman without children during an already challenging time. The music and energy of the ceremony reached me on a profound level, offering a healing experience unlike any I had encountered before.

At her heart and core, Subtle Mother embodies a vibrant community and offering—a collective of artists and musicians from various corners of the world, bound together by the shared mission of utilizing their songs, voices, and prayers to foster harmony and healing. I’ve fashioned a sanctuary akin to an “altar” where this community can place their sacred creative explorations, personal narratives, ancestral wisdom, and whatever else they wish to contribute as an offering to the divine creative spirits, the earth, and whatever/whoever weaves through the fabric of creation, seen and unseen. Mother Earth, The Divine Mothers, and our creator are the ones that I have the deepest connections with.

“Safe Passage on Your Creative Journey” and “New Sounds, Ancient Wisdom” stand as foundational principles guiding Subtle Mother’s essence.

Subtle Mother guides individuals through their creative journeys in a deeply personal way. My purpose is to support them through their various processes, and I’ve been called an Artist Doula, a title that holds special significance for me as an actual birth doula in training. I can be present for everything that arises—whether it’s witnessing a creative breakthrough, an emotional breakdown, coming up against creative blocks, moments of ecstasy, or pivotal transformations from trauma and addiction to sobriety and peace. This gives me the opportunity to help others better understand their own purpose. I also see myself as a connector, a weaver. While I don’t have all the answers, I can connect people with someone in my community who does. It is truly an honor to guide them to each other.

By holding space in this way, I’m also able to successfully navigate various levels of business and corporate worlds, including music supervision (choosing and licensing music for media), Sync A&R (creating music for media), and music curation (finding music solutions for all experiences). I fully consider the projects I say “yes” to now and ask again how they will impact others and how they can uplift and heal or expand someone’s awareness.
I know my mission is to continue to use music and sound, frequencies and voices to harmonize, to be experienced in non-traditional ways, but always with the intention of inspiration and healing.

The Subtle Mother community is growing. Right now, there are a handful of artists with music in production; My husband is one of the producers. Despite battling stage 4 cancer, his involvement in producing music for Subtle Mother has played a significant role in his healing journey.

Subtle Mother is in its infancy as a business. I personify the essence of Subtle Mother in my creative process, speaking engagements, retreats, and how I share my experiences. Recently, I launched a bi-weekly newsletter called “Subtle Mother Musings,” offering a distinctive space filled with music, life hacks, invitations to pause and practice, discoveries, and inspiration.
You can subscribe to this newsletter on my website. It arrives in your inbox every other Monday morning, allowing you time to engage with the content before the next edition. It’s packed with musical surprises, unreleased tracks, exclusive Subtle Mother meditations, and more. Curating it is a joy; I reflect on what I needed during my time in the entertainment industry trenches and what ultimately lifted me out. I have a recipe for a rose gold latte that is to die for.

Some things I’m excited about…
I am excited about the Subtle Mother community artists’ releasing their music. Kolakura’s “Canto a la Luz” is an absolutely beautiful song and can be found on the DSPs. BrightA’s album is out next and serves as a musical ceremony with music from Indigenous Peruvian, Mexican, Columbian, and Yawanawan communities. All of the proceeds from this album go into a non-profit that supports Indigenous education and land preservation.

Subtle Mother is excited to announce upcoming song circles and concerts in upstate New York and in LA. These circles and events honor the tradition of gathering around a fire in a community—some exclusively for women, others co-ed—to sing, pray, share stories, and connect.
Additionally, we’ll offer workshops focused on infusing everyday life with sacredness, treating each morning as an opportunity for ceremony and ritual, learning to build altars, delving into Indigenous education, exploring the healing power of music, and much more.

These events and retreats will be a collaborative effort, co-created and led by the Subtle Mother family, promising a wealth of beautiful experiences and opportunities for growth.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Patience- Patience pays. There were numerous occasions where I was struck by what I thought was a brilliant idea and felt compelled to act on it immediately, only to see the inspiration fade over time. In hindsight, I recognized that my urgency to act was often a reaction to the idea and a fear of missing out, driven by the fast pace of life in LA. That hustler mentality is real.
Yes, the music and entertainment industries operate at lightning speed, and I’ve honed my ability to work within the realms of instant gratification and tight deadlines. However, through cultivating various practices and modalities, I’ve learned to recognize those deep, profound inspirations—the ones that feel divinely bestowed upon you, moving directly from your head to your heart, eliciting a resounding “YES” throughout your entire being. With these inspirations, there’s no rush or force; instead, you allow them to develop and unfold naturally.
Certainly, action is taken—you write, play, experiment, throwing metaphorical spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. Yet, you also sit with it, allowing it to gestate and evolve over time. You embrace mistakes and wrong turns as valuable lessons and guidance along the way. Currently, I have two pretty out there creative projects of my own—collaborative endeavors that originated from within me. I hold no attachment to their outcomes. While I have goals for them to be shared and experienced by others, I trust in their potential to be in the world on their own time.
I continue to nurture these projects, regardless of their income potential, because the act of creating them is deeply healing for me and has already positively influenced those I’ve collaborated with. Ultimately, it’s about coming together and empowering each other’s creative ideas in every possible way. This collective effort nurtures the well-being of our community and humanity as a whole.

Breath—It’s the key to everything. Yet, many of us have forgotten how to truly breathe, opting instead for shallow breaths or holding our breath altogether. We may even find ourselves taking huge, stressful breaths that leave us feeling tense and uncomfortable. But there’s a better way.
Try this: Take a silent, gentle inhale through your nose, starting from the belly and allowing the breath to rise up to and out of the crown of your head. Then, exhale slowly, slower than the inhale, as if you’re gently blowing through a straw through your mouth. Repeat this breath a few times whenever you notice yourself holding your breath or breathing rapidly and erratically.
As you do this, consciously drop your shoulders from your ears, unclench your jaw, and perform a pretend yawn, scrunching and then unscrunching your face. Open your eyes and mouth wide. Repeat this process as needed.

Remember to sit up straight, breathe in (nose or mouth, whichever gets you there) and slowly exhale, take a sip of water, and breathe again. Plenty of breathing techniques are available online, so explore and find ones that help regulate the nervous system. In the fast-paced world we inhabit today, our nervous systems could certainly use all the support they can get. My breathwork teacher, Erin Telford, hosts online and in-person (LA-based) breathwork sessions, and she is absolutely amazing and holds a LOT of wisdom.

Morning time—it truly sets the tone for your day and grants you a sense of empowerment or, better yet, flow. Now, I understand that my circumstances may differ from others—for one, I don’t have children, affording me more time in the mornings. I recognize this when offering advice.
There was a period when my days were filled with school, work, and lengthy commutes, leaving little time for myself. In those days, I used my morning toilet time for a quick three-minute drop-in—reconnecting with my breath, reciting a brief mantra, and engaging in gentle stretches or twists.
Nowadays, my schedule allows for a more dedicated morning routine, and I’m deeply grateful for it. Gratitude is a significant part of my morning ritual. I begin by stretching, moving, or dancing, and then I invite in the energies of Reiki and acknowledge the presence of the five elements—Air, Fire, Water, Earth, and Ethers/cosmos. Remembering that we humans are made of these elements serves as a reminder of their supportive influence in our lives. I follow this with prayer, meditation, or chanting.
My morning routine isn’t rigid; it varies from day to day, and that’s perfectly fine. And if I don’t get my morning time, throughout the day, I set alarms (Richard Rudds Triple Flame app is great for this and free)—pleasant chimes or music—to prompt me to pause and contemplate for two to three minutes, checking in with myself. I reflect on my emotions, identify any triggers, and release them through deep breaths, allowing myself to start anew.
Morning time holds a special place in my heart—it’s mine. I’ve made it a rule not to touch my phone until after completing my morning routine. No one can reach me during this sacred time unless I’ve tended to myself first. It’s a time that I cherish and safeguard as my own.

What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?

Over the past 12+ months, I’ve been by my husband’s side as he navigated through his (2nd) stage 4 cancer healing journey—a whirlwind of emotions ranging from pain and fear to joy and gratitude. Amidst it all, the development of Subtle Mother emerged as a significant beacon of creativity and hope for me. (I’m thrilled to share that he’s doing remarkably well now and will soon be sharing his journey in a Bold Journey interview)

Additionally, in the past year, I experienced the unexpected layoff from my role as VP of a major label—a blow to the ego yet ultimately a tremendous opportunity for growth. I also mourned the loss of my beloved cat of 16 years.

I reunited with my dad in Finland after a seven-year separation due to the pandemic restrictions and life busyness. However, this reunion was juxtaposed with the sobering reality of my mother’s onset of dementia during my visit with her and my stepfather.

Despite the ups and downs, I took the leap to share Subtle Mother with the world and reignited my passion for writing through my newsletter.
I say all of this because it’s been a LOT, and the below is where I grew…

Energy balance is one of the most profound areas of growth through it all. The quality of my energy, along with its containment, maintenance, and sustainability, has become a huge focus for me. It influences how I show up for myself, my husband, my family, and ultimately the world.

I’ve had to take a very honest look at the areas where I was leaking energy—whether it stemmed from my thoughts, such as negative self-talk or dwelling on past conversations and situations beyond my control, or physical factors like lack of exercise, poor breathing habits, or consuming foods that deplete me. These energy leaks can manifest in various forms, including guilt, financial worries, and the tendency to please others at my own expense. Leaks also allow for the influence, moods, and projections of others to nest all up in your energy field, blurring the lines of what’s yours and what is someone else’s; that is NOT a fun space to be in. You’re left frizzle-frazzled with a chaos frequency emanating from you.

Acknowledging these leaks and allowing myself to be called out on them was just the first step. I’ve had to trial and error so many ways to actively refine and conserve my energy, which I know sounds counterintuitive. This process hasn’t been easy; it is a daily practice of self-awareness, discipline, and faith.

For example, my energy threshold is currently being examined and refined. Sometimes, fueled by caffeine or post-workout endorphins, I’d enthusiastically commit to things with a “Heck yeah!” without much thought. But at age 45, after navigating my husband’s cancer journey and recognizing the importance of conserving/containing my energy, I’m trying a new (and maybe obvious to most) approach: pausing before saying yes, actually, pausing before responding to anything, anything at all (it really annoys people, sorry, not sorry). Rushed decisions led to overwhelm and flakiness. Now, I prioritize integrity by assessing commitments against my schedule and values, breathing them into my body to see how they feel. Taking this pause ensures I show up grounded and present while staying true to my word. Energy is currency, and I’m becoming a LOT more conscious about where I invest it.

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